JCOM, must you type in dialect? It’s painful.
But, but, it’s supposed to be FUN! It’s fun to type, anyways. Maybe just pretend you’re readin’ Mark Twain? No? Oh, well.
:dubious: You’re a sorry-ass inbred cracker Alabamian?! Stop using a username that can only be legitimately claimed by a noble and inexplicably immortal Cavalier Virginian, you insolent imposter!
(Yes, yes, my own username can only be legitimately claimed by a brain-eating zombie. But in my case, this is not dishonest. 
)
We’ve been all through this. I’m not coming to Gulf Shores until NEXT weekend.
Incidentally, I’ve been to The Pink Pony many times. It really is really really pink and Mr. Carter doth speak true- it’s about the straightest place you’ll ever see. The Waffle House across the road is actually much gayer (and there’s always that same fat autistic guy there drawing Civil War drawings- ever seen him JC? Would love to know what that’s about.)
Makes no difference. This is 2007. Based on the terms of current political discourse, a Libertarian who calls himself/herself a “liberal” is an Ogdamned shitsucking liar.
But you knew that.
Eh? Floridians are not particularly dumb or particularly smart or particularly liberal or particularly conservative or particularly anything. When it comes down to it, we don’t know what we are, and you should never be surprised at any decision that comes out of Tallahassee or any county seat. There’s cracker Florida, and there’s African-American Florida, and there’s Cuban-American Florida, and there’s all-other-kinds-of-Latin-American Florida, and there’s Yankee-colonized Florida, and there’s thong-bikini Florida . . .
Yup.
I’m at least a 6th generation Alabamian on all sides and a 17th generation Southerner with ancestors at James Town. Every ancestor I had who was alive in 1840 was already here in central Alabama, every branch of the family served the Confederacy in some aspect, some owned slaves. I grew up on a cattle farm in the middle of the Alabama boondocks the son of a gun toting one-time lady wrestler who was engaged at 14/married at 16 to her high-school teacher (who she later learned was a distant cousin), my father was an alcoholic who loved moonshine when he could get it/Kentucky whiskey when he couldn’t and the Grand Ol’ Opry and indulged in as many as possible on most Friday nights, and when I was a kid I had a grandmother and three great aunts who all lived within a quarter mile of me and who all pissed in the road when the urge so struck them and in Crisco cans when they didn’t feel like going outside, and at any given time my family had between 5 and 15 dogs and a large yard full of cars, not all of which ran. That said, there’s not a member of my family living or dead whose IQ I wouldn’t bet my entire paycheck on* if compared to any random Doper, and I rarely had to leave my house to encounter great diversity. The idea Southerners are inbred and monolithic or that somehow and for some reason sweet iced tea and intellectual capabilities are never to be found in the same place is one of incredible imbecility and, to paraphrase with attribution a quote from Douglas Adams that maligns a whole other part of the country, “is something so bizarre and illogical it would strain belief in Salt Lake City”. To those who honestly think kudzu and retardation are the main things that flourish here, all I gotta say to ya is Fuck Y’all but not til yur dunn kissin’ mah gritz.**
*With some compensation for a lobotomized aunt and my Aunt LouIda specifically excluded from said contract.
**And I L-O-V-E grits- had some today in fact. Fried chicken, collards, squash, watermelon, blackberry cobblers, fried green tomatoes, fried eggplants, fried corn, honeysuckle dew, straight whiskey, coffee with chicory, catfish, squirrel that’s smothered in gravy, and canned biscuits with gravy and ketchup- love all those too.
And even “Cuban-American Florida” encompasses two separate waves of migration – one to Tampa from the 1890s, the other to Miami from the 1960s. They’re very different. Miami Cubans are much, much more hostile to Castro, and their take on “Cuban” cuisine is very different and, IME, far inferior.
John Carter of Mars, now you know that I am one of those pinko-commie weak-though-fat-assed liberal whiney lilly-livered Bush-bashin’ Democrat votin’motherfuckers. It is a proud tradition in the West Tennessee families through which my lines pass. (Sniff)
But please don’t make me take my ass to that neuvo California or to New York or (shriek!) New Jersey! The last two were slave states for way too long – at least three times longer than the part of the country that I’m from. And once that mentality of “I need to feel superior so you get to be inferior” creeps into your culture, it’s hard to throw off.
And when it’s there for two hundred years, it just really makes it hard for a person to ever have a realistic viewpoint of anyone or any part of the country again. Have mercy on them! But have mercy on me too and don’t send me there among people who talk funny and sound uneducated. I don’t want to talk like Amy Fisher or Archie Bunker or Judge Judy! Save me! Save me!
As for California, well it’s too fadish and there’s no real breeding. Nice people, I’m sure. and pretty places. No offense intended. It’s just too new.
Going to Alabama is always a pleasure. Auburn in the spring and Guntersville or Monte Sano in the fall are beautiful.
-
Tsk. Tsk. You go to West Tennessee for barbecue.
-
Consider that anyone from outside the United States could read about the foolishness of what goes on in Alabama’s Office of Homeland Security and address to all Americans: “You were caught with the ignorance red-handed. You take the beating for it.” They don’t have to limit the ignorance to one state anymore than you limited it to one person or one department or the state government.
Suddenly, you must be ignorant too! See how much fun it is?
Oh, and always get the shredded pork barbecue with the clear sauce.
Don’t get chunky or whole barbecue. Don’t get beef barbecue and don’t use the reddish sauce. It’s not as good. Mayonnaise and slaw are good with West Tennessee BBQ. So are the Blues and Beale Street.
I have to question any self-respecting southerner who refers to pulled pork as “shredded barbecue”.
…and the best version of pulled pork has always been found in North Carolina. I’ll give West Tennessee props for ribs, though.
New? Spanish exploration of California began in 1530. Spain was more interested in its territories further south but continued explorations, along with some English like Captain Cook and Sir Francis Drake, until a permanent European settlement was established in 1697.
New indeed.
I know you’re speaking somewhat facetiously, but I’ve still gotta point out that, according to Cecil, it’s been their word for a good long time now.
Mayo?!?
West Tennessee BBQ is clearly ‘of the devil.’
Honey, if you were just a bit more willing to lower your upper limits a bit and give those of us with excellent vision a decent peek, we’d all have a better time digging our dirty fingers through the soft fertile clumps. Ahh, gardening.
I was in Birmingham a few weeks ago. I met a man named Bo. He was a nice man. He sold me something in his pawn shop. I used my bank card to pay for it.
Nice man. I had to thumb a ride home because he drained my account. Not that I’m generalizing.
Next time I get to Birmingham, I’m paying cash.
Mmmmmm. Pulled Pork. Got me some in Tupelo. They had red sauce on the side, but it was just tarted-up ketchup.
Cartooniverse
OK, but they can’t claim the color pink.
We had it first. Pink is a straight guy’s favoritest color!
What is this “clear sauce” of which you speak?
I ask because, IME, most sauces (and all BBQ sauces) are opaque. The only exception I can think of is Asian fish sauce. (Vinegar is clear but I don’t really think of it as a “sauce.”)
What about sweet & sour sauce? Or duck sauce?
A much more serious social issue has been raised, one that breaks apart families and causes more damage than most people realize “mere words on a message board” can cause. I considered opening a GDs thread as that’s really the better forum, but since it was brought up here I’ll leave it here and leave it to the mods if they think it should be moved.
I’ve been seen as an ameliorater damned by both sides but here’s my honest take on the issue:
West Tennessee (dry rub) barbecue is great.
Sloppy wet barbecue is also great.
There’s no reason you have to choose a favorite. Both are delicious. Sometimes I’m in the mood for one, sometimes I’m in the mood for the other.
But what I will not budge upon, and will argue anybody who argues against: sweet slaw is a whole lot better than sour slaw, and ranch dressing is THE greatest condiment for barbecued chicken.
I don’t really see those as “clear,” though WRT duck sauce the matter is at least arguable. Sweet & sour sauce is no more clear than is red-ketchupy BBQ sauce.
You’re on the right track. White sauce is superior for BBQ chicken, but ranch is snail snot compared to real Decatur white sauce.