Glass and kids?
Come on man, be serious.
In all seriousness, in an active shooter situation, throwing improvised weapons at the shooter to try to distract him can actually be an effective strategy. If a can of peas is the weapon that you have available, then go ahead, grab it and throw it.
But it’s the height of silliness to go from there to suggesting that you keep cans of vegetables on hand specifically for use as improvised weapons. The whole point of improvised weapons is that they’re improvised. If you’re deliberately carrying something for its use as a weapon, don’t improvise it. Or at least carry things that can be used for many other purposes: A baseball will work just as well as a can for distracting an assailant, but will also come in handy at recess, for instance. But canned vegetables serve no other purpose in a classroom.
dodgeballs in every classroom!
“Hey kid, do you have a license to carry that juicebox?”
You know, when things got really bad between kids when I was in grade school, the challenge was “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess.” If they were super bad, it would be “I’ll meet you by the bicycle rack at recess* and bring your lunch box*.”
watchout - I hear that guy has peaches - in heavy syrup!
Maybe the potential embarrassment factor will deter gunmen in schools.
“He died in a hail of canned peas” is a hell of an epitaph.
“he died in a hall covered in pea”
works better.
I said bonus!
You really want to have some fun, do this and also simultaneously accuse the Koch bros. of doing this to the lefties.
so, would a kid carrying a jar of peanut butter be escalating to chemical weapons?
So, these are little kids, what size cans do they give them? The regular soup can size, or something smaller? Do they give bigger cans to the higher grades?
And do they spend time practicing with the cans?
Imagine the effect on gangsta rap. Guys singing about throwing down and whipping out their Del Monte. Or busting a green bean in yo ass. Or some fool going for his 12 oz when the corn hits the fan.
How much heavy syrup do you pour out for your homies?
Classroom fights are a thing? What shitty schools did y’all go to?
what if one of them gets their hands on a can of this?
http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e5a7_canned_unicorn_meat.jpg
it would clearly cause friendly collateral damage with its radiating sparkle blastwave
It can only be wielded by a virgin maiden.
+5 damage
+10 AC