I’m typing this one-handed, not for the reason you’re thinking, but because my right arm is broken and it’s all my fault.
Last Sunday, I celebrated Easter by going to DC to visit the National Gallery. After I got my fill of art, I went to Dupont Circle to have dinner at Raku, one of my favorite Asian restaurants. Afterward, I decided to go to JR’s to have a pre-Metro snort on $1 vodka night.
Stupid decision #1
WHen I got there, the place was packed with people. I got my drink and found a spot in the corner. A really handsome guy next to me started chatting with me, and after a while, he asked if I could buy him a vodka. Immediately, the “this guy’s a hustler” bells went off, but because he was really cute I told him I’d get him one drink, but I had no interest in anything else.
Stupid decision #2
After the second vodka I bought him,(Stupid Decision #3) he asked me for money. I told him to piss off and walked away. The hustler followed me and started getting menacing. I couldn’t get a bartender to notice what was going on because they were busy. The guy tried for my wallet, we scuffled. THAT, the bartenders noticed. We got thrown out.
I walked away. The jerk came up behind me and punched me in the back of the head, knocking me down. I hit the sidewalk hard, with him trying to get my wallet. With my left hand, I wrenched him back, and I started shouting “Fire” as loud as I could to attract attention. The would-be mugger ran off.
Lesons Learned:
1)Stay out of gay bars. I ought to know by now that anyone who wants to talk to me must be up to no good.
2)Don’t chat to people I know can be dangerous, especially when I’m buzzed.
3) Stay away from hard alcohol. I’m a two beer max drinker, and am totally not used to drinking hard liquor, and I underestimated how drunk I was.
4)Working out has really paid off. I was able to wrestle a guy off me with only one useable arm.
I deserve a broken arm for being a freaking idiot. I’m grateful I’m left-handed, so I can still work, so I got off lighter than I should have.