There are other humans out there who will help you. You are clearly in a position where you can’t do it on your own—regardless of the amounts, it sounds like you’re drinking and smoking too much, and know it, and know it’s going to kill you sooner rather than later.
It’s not a good death.
Telling yourself it’s fine is a lie. Telling yourself you’re content doesn’t square with what you’ve written here. I don’t know you—you could be a skinny teenager posting just to troll us. But if what you’re describing is even close to accurate, just take that first step into an AA meeting or something. They’re not perfect by any stretch, but any step is better than nothing.
I’ve known a lot of alcoholics. A lot of my patients tell similar stories. My own story of alcoholism and addiction shares some similarities to the OP’s. Those who got well did so because we decided we HAD to, plus we generally need 4 other things to succeed:
Time Sink - something to do with the time formerly spent getting, maintaining and recovering from “high” - in classic AA go to meetings. For others it’s church, the gym, the golf course, model railroading, community service organizations, etc.
External Accountability - external loci of control for decision making until extinction of prior behavioral scripts - in classic AA a sponsor; also very important that it cannot be someone you have an emotional entanglement with i.e. spouse, lover, parent, child, etc…
Experience of the Other/Relativitization of your ego - become less self centered and deflate your core grandiose self - in classic AA do service work, volunteer, etc. Otherwise work in a soup kitchen, community cleanup, etc.
Spiritual Growth/Personal Growth - humanistically or otherwise become a better person; more honest, more kind, more patient, more selfless, more giving, etc. - in classic AA get to step 12, and as a result of these Steps, have a spiritual awakening.
Expensive treatment centers can give one a leg up and a safer place to sober up, etc until the brain starts working better again, but that leg up needs to be into some sort of ongoing support/mutual assistance network like AA and other groups.
I’m reading Senegoid’s post more as saying not only AA. Some people are fine with AA alone. Some (hell, many) can actually stop with no external help whatsoever. But I would think, given the OP’s self-reported drinking habits and history, that a medically supervised detox would be in order. Plus I would think a controlled environment for at least a short period of time would be helpful, in addition to access to psychiatrists that could evaluate any other underlying issues that could have led to such prodigious drinking.
Numerous details from his posts suggest that he’s in Germany. He should be glad as hell that he has access to the kind of social safety net that they have there, and not living in a place where people in his position are just thrown to the wolves, as they are in “the greatest country in the world.” This is, of course, assuming he’s not just trolling us with an outrageous story.
I suggested AA as a first step, because I thought it was the lowest bar to connecting with people who could help. This isn’t a case of what’s the best way to stop drinking, but what’s the most practical way to change the status quo.
A lot of people drink to much, but full-on alcoholism is something we as a society really fail at. The kind of support an individual needs for this or any addiction issue just isn’t there; we seem really wedded to the notion that you either do it on your own through willpower or deserve your fate.
Anyway, I hope you take steps to get to a better place.
If someone posted they were doing something else that was extremely dangerous, like playing Russian roulette or driving the wrong way down the freeway, I’d like to think most of us would suggest anything to stop doing such behavior wether they wanted to hear it or not.
As a LEO I deal with extreme alcoholics all the time. Taking someone into detox is a major PITA! Detox won’t accept anyone over .15 unless they have been medically cleared. People below .15 don’t need to go to detox so if I have a .27 I have to sit with them in the hospital for 3 hours to get them medically cleared before I can take them back to detox.
What I learned over the years is that these people have to keep drinking to avoid withdrawal which is why I question the OP about being able to abstain for days at a time. I have seen many people go through alcohol withdrawal. It is an ugly, ugly sight!
But none of those people ever claimed to drink the amount the OP has. He is either exaggerating or mistaken about the time period over which he drinks that amount.
I am unapologetic about getting toasted on my day off. But the amount the OP claims to be drinking is just not sustainable.
Yeah - right. Because no one EVER responds to an OP in a manner other than the Over desired/intended!
Someone posts something that is blatantly ridiculous, and responders aren’t supposed to acknowledge that ? OP is questioning about deck chairs on the Titanic.
What you’re describing puts you at risk of liver or kidney failure, neither of which is “dying in your sleep” and can be pretty hard ways to go. Likewise, dying from complications of diabetes can be pretty nightmarish, too.
I, too, am not sure what you want from this thread. You might be comfortable (in some sense of the word) with your current life but it’s not one I can endorse. Possibly, your best ending from all this might be a sudden heart attack.
I wish you well, and good luck. But that’s about all I can offer you if you don’t wish to change - which is your choice.
Some people i know, who also have alcohol probelms, they piss red pee. They suggest to me to switch to beer instead of hard liquir. Well that would never get me drunk, ive tried beer from time to time and it makes me pee a lot. But i dont get drunk. 24 beers dont get me drunk because it takes så long to drink and its only about 4.5 procent alcohol so it dissapears in the body before the next beer comes
Id like to stop drinking, but it would lower my pleasure of life. I dont know of any way of stopping drinking. ive gone to a psychologist for 25 years and he was useless. I never told him i drank - i didnt want to depress him. We became friends you see
You don’t want help or advice. You want to tell people you can’t be helped. You can stop drinking. I’ve never met an alcoholic who regrets being sober or is less happy. I know some who wish they could drink socially but know they can’t. That’s not the same thing. You will feel better if you stop drinking. You have a chance of getting actually healthy and not just lifting heavy a couple days a week. But that’s up to you. No one here can make you do it. We can just watch from afar as you crash and burn.
