What is your definition of an alcoholic?
If I drink a glass of wine 5 nights out of 7, am I an alcoholic? If I feel like I need a drink to fall asleep? If I can go a month without drinking and then one Saturday make up for it and am hungover the next day?
To keep this out of Great Debates, here are the rules:
My personal definition of an alcoholic is a person whose drinking impacts their life in a negative way. If you fight with your loved ones, can’t get to work on time, or can’t do a decent job at whatever you do during the day because of alcohol, then you need to address it.
If you can drink a case of beer every night and still function and are happy, then you’re not an alcoholic. If you drink two glasses of wine once a week but always get in a fight with your spouse when you do, then you might have a drinking problem.
But that’s just my definition. I know a lot of people will disagree.
Thanks. Is the reason for this covered in the FAQ’s?
Let’s just say I’ve seen this type of thread before.
I agree with Athena, but I’d go a step further to say that my definition of an alcoholic is someone whose drinking affects their life negatively, and despite that they’re unable to stop (easily).
I tend to think of people as alcoholics if…
At least, this is how I see my dad. Yay.
I guess I’ll elaborate a bit. I am almost sure I’m some sort of alcoholic. My SO knows I drink too much and has threatened to end the relationship. He found out a few weeks ago that I was hiding it and told me he was about to propose but is now postponing it.
I drink to fall asleep. In addition to booze, I take two extra strength sleeping pills to knock myself out. If the SO isn’t home (like now) I consume a bottle of wine plus about 10 oz. of vodka, plus the sleeping pills to go to sleep, over about 3 hours.
This has not effected work or my social life, but it has effected my relationship obviously. I am dependent on alcohol, but in a different way. I just need to sleep. If I don’t drink, like lately, I sleep less then 3 hours a night.
Anyhow. Any suggestions on how to stop?
I’d say the inability to stop drinking if you choose. If you can slow down/give up but don’t, and it negatively affects your life, you aren’t an alcoholic; you’re foolishly self indulgent. The difference being that it’s not alcohol that’s the problem but poor judgement. Of course, telling the difference between someone who really can stop anytime he likes, and between an alcoholic who’s lying about it to himself/you can be hard.
Only you have the answer as to whether you are an alcoholic or not. It certainly seems as if there are some red flags going up. I strongly urge you to check out some AA sites and think about going to a meeting. Just sit and listen. Pick up some literature maybe. It might help you figure it all out.
Mixing pills and booze is not good and can be dangerous though I’m pretty sure you know this. I’ve been there before. I could never sleep after taking Oxy’s and booze so then I’d pop Ambien like crazy. I know the torture of not sleeping but alcoholism is another kind of torture.
I wish you the best!
Maybe you can try to deal with your insomnia with help from a doctor and not from alcohol. Worth a shot, anyway.
Yeah, you’re going to need simultaneous help for the sleeping problem and the alcohol use, probably. It’s possible that once you find a less dangerous (to your liver, your head and your love life) way to sleep better, you’ll stop using alcohol with little or no effort. However, bad things, up to and including seizures and death, can happen to heavy drinkers who stop. You should see a doctor who can help you decide if you need close medical supervision while you detox, or if your consumption levels are low enough and your liver still healthy enough to not need that.
But yeah, I’d start looking for other sleep aids, from yoga to music to prescription drugs. In the world according to me, you’ve got a problem simply because it is affecting your relationships negatively, and it sounds like you’re not happy with that.
If you want to go with a more standardized evaluation, many physicians are taught to use the CAGE questions to assess whether drinking is a problem (two or more positive answers are worrisome):
*
Screening Test Questions:
Have you ever felt you ought to Cut down on your drinking?
Do you get Annoyed at criticism of your drinking?
Do you ever feel Guilty about your drinking?
Do you ever take an Early-morning drink (eye-opener) first thing in the morning (“a little hair of the dog that bit you”) to get the day started or to eliminate the “shakes”? *
You can also use a 10 question test called AUDIT to help assess whether alcohol is a problem for you.
Of course assessment tools only work if you are honest and have insight. In short, though, if alcohol is affecting your life, work, and/or relationships, you may have a problem.
When you have your first drink of the evening, if you cannot predict whether you will have just one or two, or whether you will get completely shitfaced, you may be an alcoholic.
Thank you for the specific help. I don’t drink to the point of getting sh*t faced, but I know that drinking to get to sleep is not the right thing.
I do go to a therapist already, and she’s trying to help. I am a bit leery to take drugs to help, but I guess I’d be no worse off then now.
The biggest thing is my relationship. I don’t want to loose him. I need to stop. But I need to sleep too.
I shall go get another opinion and different help.
No offense, but it kind of sounds like you are playing a semantics game. You already take a drug of sorts to help you sleep. And it’s not harmless either…heavy drinking will hurt your liver in the long term. Maybe there’s a better option, or at least, an option that won’t nuke your liver and kill your relationship.
Best of luck.
Hon, you’re *already *taking drugs to help. [insert wry-smiley here] You’re just taking drugs that are incredibly hard on your body and your relationship to help. There are other things, drugs and not-drugs, that might be able to help with less hardship.
*I *think you’re doing a smart thing by getting a second opinion. I don’t think it’s a moral question, in terms of drinking not being “the right thing” in an ethical sense. I don’t think you’re weak or bad or any of that nonsense. I just don’t think it’s the best, most useful solution to your problem.
It’s like plowing a whole field with a sharpened stick. Sure, it’ll get the job done, but it takes way too long and you’ll kill your back before you even get the seeds planted. Try a plow or a rototiller or a half dozen sweaty young men without shirts instead!
ETA: Oy, these slow loading times today are killing me! Just…what Stichglass Slide said. :smack:
My mother died from alcoholism at 44. My father was a very heavy drinker and quit, only to die of a massive heart attack two years later. When my husband left me, I romanced the bottle. No, that’s an understatement - I raped it vigorously. I started drinking before he left me, after our son was in bed and I found myself alone on the couch whilst he tooled around on the PC. So, it started with a couple of glasses of wine just so that I could sleep without laying in bed alone wondering what he was doing. Then he left and I lost 15 kilos on the ‘misery diet’. Get up, go to work, don’t eat, get home, cook dinner for my boy, put him to bed and drink until I could only see out of one eye. Repeat. I drank because I was lonely, confused, heart-broken and couldn’t sleep. I really wish you well, and I only stopped drinking to sleep when I decided that I was going to die like my mother if I kept it up. I also found that wild monkey sex or long movies helped to bring about sleep, without the hangover the next day. Good luck - I’m sure you’ll get through this.
I would add - if you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re drinking from your SO, there’s another serious problem right there.
That’s not to say that someone who drinks in the open is any less an alcoholic, but if you’re hiding evidence that’s showing that somewhere you (generic) know it’s wrong, but that knowledge isn’t enough to prompt you to stop.
We are not your doctors. We cannot really give you medical advice. Hie thee to a doctor.