Andy Anderson, actor and recovering alcoholic, defined it as:
One drink is too much, a thousand are not enough.
A very good friend of mine has lived his life better for many years by not ever taking that first drink.
You might want to ask your therapist to refer you to a substance abuse specialist; the amount of alcohol you describe could be a problem if you stop suddenly. You also need to see a M.D. for help with the sleeping problem.
I was doing something similar to what you are doing for a while - I have very bad insomnia. I discovered drinking would not make me go to sleep; it would make me pass out - and I was pretty worthless the next day because of the hangover. I am now seeing a doctor and am on a second medication because the first didn’t really help.
Do some research on insomina. Do you work? If you are drinking until you pass out and sleeping until you wake up, you are not getting healthy sleep and you are not in a normal sleep cycle. Some folks - such as me - have to maintain a sleep schedule 7 days a week - no sleeping in on weekends. If you can’t sleep one night, don’t nap the next day - make yourself stay up until bedtime.
I wish you luck.
Yup. We found out that a brother-in-law of mine, in his late 30s or so at the time, was an alcoholic when we got the call that he was in the ICU with a failing liver and was probably going to die. He was hiding his drinking; he’d drink only a little when people were around and then make up for it when alone. His other health problems, real and claimed, had masked the physical symptoms from the rest of us.
He was lucky and didn’t die - and didn’t need a liver transplant (which is good because as an active alcoholic I’m pretty sure he wasn’t eligible) - but was hospitalized for months with his liver, plus his kidneys had shut down, and then he had pneumonia and a stroke. He went through months of physical rehabilitation, and now a few years later he’s still physically disabled, has a raspy voice and “hole” in his throat from the tracheotomy, etc. As far as we know, he’s not drinking, so it looks like that’s what it took for him to “hit bottom.”
In my case, an over-reliance on alcohol and a mental obsession with it - basically, constantly thinking about when I could next drink, or organising my social life around the availability or otherwise of booze - made me pretty much a textbook alcoholic. You sound like you have some level of dependence, but only you can tell.
Boosh (seven months sober and much better off for it!)
Not original to him – that’s from the Big Book. (Alcoholics Anonymous, the “bible” of AA).
As others have observed – drinking is having a negative effect on your life, and you can’t control it.
As others have observed – you’re already using mind- and mood-altering substances to get to sleep.
Alas, the drug you’re using, alcohol, causes its own kind of sleep disturbances. (I’m sure QtM will be along to say more about this.)
I’d suggest going to an AA meeting or two and listening – you don’t have to say a word, if you don’t want to – to see if anything there rings a bell with you.
twicks, alcoholic, sober for 21 years+ through the steps of AA
And if the religious aspect of AA bothers you, you can try Rational Recovery.
Or two.
Here’s an old one:
The difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic is that when the heavy drinker quits, his life gets easier. When the alcoholic quits, his life get more difficult.
EmAnJ–Re: the drinking and pills to fall asleep. Been there, done that. Pills and alcohol can disrupt your natural sleep cycle. NOBODY ever died from lack of sleep, but many have died from misuse of drink & drugs.
Urrg…Correction - Begg’in your pardon Czarcasm but it is well known amongst us friends of Bill W. that Religion in AA is strictly a higher power you know only by yourself. If you come in a Catholic use your holy trinity if you wish, a Christian, use your god…An Agnostic, Atheist, Pagan, Wiccan whatever…choose your higher power from within your own self. We say it in our preamble:
Bolding mine. Religion is not a part of AA like going to church on Sundays…it’s used on an individual basis not as a prerequisite… QTM may happen upon this thread and clarify as well I’m sure…
Nonetheless, religion should never keep someone who wishes to stop drinking from going to an AA meeting.
**Don’t want to open a can of worms in this thread either… It seems the OP has some thinking to do, and I will echo going to an AA meeting, most new comers hear something that clicks with them…And from what the OP mentions she will hear quite a bit she will understand in her core. Many, many people have trouble sleeping and resort to the bottle and pills. It is a bad recipe to continue for any length of time.
I’m not sure you are saying that right: I have heard the phrase before but I think the ending is different. Only because I know many alcoholics who have quit and their lives have gotten exponentially better. Damn! I wish the old roledex in my brain could remember the exact phrase…
The enlarged nose stereotypically chalked up to heavy drinking can be a symptom of rosacea, and while being exacerbated by heaving drinking, appears in non-drinkers alike. Just FYI. 
Nope, that was quoted correctly. Once sober, the alcoholic has to deal with the underlying issues that he or she was avoiding while blotto.
This is not a debate, and all opinions are equally valid.
Even mine.
I never understand people who avoid AA because of religion, and even less those who try to get others to avoid it (and I’m not directing this at anyone in particular). I’m not remotely religious or spiritual and don’t have a clue what a ‘Higher Power’ is. But I went to AA meetings for a couple of months and benefited greatly simply from spending time with people who were dealing with the same problem as me. When there was religious talk, I listened politely or tuned out, as I would anywhere else.
Alcoholics are only people who drink too much. They’re not idiots, more prone to brainwashing than the general population.
Sorry for hijack.
You are right this is not a debate, I was just saying the whole religion aspect of AA is a slippery slope at best…and at worse it’s something that keeps some people who need help away from an organization that is not proselytizing. That’s it.
And of course your opinion is valid. 
This describes me. Only it always seems to be “one or two,” lately. Actually the most likely outcome is that I’ll have two ounces of beer, and then wake myself with my own snoring to discover that My name Is Earl has become a direct marketing infomercial, and the beer I’d intended to finish has gone flat. Bukowski was right: being a drunk does require hard work and dedication.
Very true - I’ve just finished reading a novel called ‘How I Became Stupid’ which is in part about a guy who decides to dull his sensitivities by becoming an alcoholic, but can’t hack it. It’s a vocation. A really crappy one, but a vocation nonetheless.
In my humble opinion the worse kind of alcoholic are the functioning ones, the ones with 2 cars, spouse, kids, toys, good job etc…etc… you get my point. Alcoholics are not just the ones who have a pint of popov in a paper bag under the bridge, they are your cube mate, your racquetball buddy and your soccer moms. Alcohol destroys lives and makes you harm the people who love you the most…and you’d be surprised to see how little alcohol it can actually take to have a ton of wreckage in your life.
I want an answer to this too. I get so stressed out from my job that I find myself having to drink at night just to get to sleep before 3am.
It’s not affecting my work, as I just got “Employee of the Month” for whatever that’s worth. I’m single (dammit!), so I don’t have any relationships that it would affect.