The Experiment Ends

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

To recap: I got pretty wasted on Easter Sunday. Ended up tossing and turning all night. Woke up at one point to the thought that I could quit drinking whenever I wanted to. My mother is a recovering alcoholic, so that sounded like a challenge. I vowed to stop drinking until June 3rd, the date of our annual BBQ.

Update: I made it ‘til last night. A couple of girlfriends and I went to Joe’s Crab Shack in Roseville… I had three Leinenkugel Honey Weiss’.

So it ended up being five weeks sans alcohol. I have to admit, it was tougher than I thought. The longer I went without, the more I wanted it. This past weekend was the worst. We were dog-sitting and man were they getting on my nerves. But I didn’t drink.

My husband says that my ability to avoid alcohol for as long as I did does not prove that I’m not an alcoholic.
I could just be a strong-willed alcoholic.

2

I must be confused as to the definition of an alcoholic.
Are you saying that on holidays and such you drink, and therefore you are an alcoholic? I’m a little unclear.

Personally, I would define an alcoholic as someone who must consume 4 or more alcoholic beverages on or near a daily basis and feels as though they can not function if they do not.

If the first definition is correct holiday/weekend drinking, etc., then I am a raging alcoholic as I probably drink to the point of little recall and oblivion every other weekend or so.

So, am I an alcoholic? I have a glass of wine or two with dinner at least once a week. My father was/is an alcoholic. Now I am curious. Of course I don’t know your entire situation Cant, but from the OP I feel like either I am underestimating the definition or you are overestimating. Insight?

3

You may be right that you are simply a strong-willed alcoholic. That’s what my husband is. He has convinced himself that just because he can give it up for a short period if he must, he’s proven he’s not an alcoholic. BUT - first thing he does when he gets home from work is reach for the gin. He doesn’t drink until after work, and he never misses work because of it, but he goes through a lot of gin & VO each week.

I applaud your self-awareness. You may very well NOT be alcoholic, but, considering your mother’s situation, it’s good that you’re thinking about this.

Good luck. My thoughts are with you.

4

After watching my dad die a very gruesome death from alcoholism, I really hope you aren’t Cant. It was scary and traumatizing and I would hate to see a wonderful person such as yourself be taken down by this.

5

I could be an acloholic, but I really don’t know since I don’t drink… period! I could be the worst alcoholic on the planet and I’ll never know because I won’t pick up any alcoholic beverage.

I’m not trying to be boastful or anything, but I thought it was kind of funny.

6

First, let me make absolutely clear that I do not mean any disrespect, and that I do recognise alcoholism as a very serious addiction, disease even. Stories like the one about Sue’s dad are horrible, and serve as a warning to us all.

Having said that, I think people sometimes tend to think they’re an alcoholic a bit too quickly. Cant, if you can stay off the booze for 5 weeks, I dare say you’re NOT an alcoholic. Sure, you’ve thought about needing a drink when things got rough, but I bet you didn’t start sweating or shaking because of the lack of alcohol.

OldBroad, in the case of your husband it would strongly depend on how much he drinks. One shot glass of (straight) gin after work? No problem, I’d say. Half a bottle? Alcoholic.

I usually drink one or two alcoholic beverages a day. Beer, wine, whiskey, port, usually. Does that make me an alcoholic? A recent Dutch study says so. Everyone drinking more than 10 alcoholic beverages per week, spread out over more than 3 days, is an alcoholic to their definition.

My ass.

I can lose those two drinks a day easily. In fact, I often do. Sometimes I just skip the booze altogether, even if it IS available. When I’m ill, I don’t drink at all - for days, sometimes weeks. No side effects, no weird things, nothing.

Don’t get scared too easily, and don’t let medical definitions get in your way. It is all about personality and how you deal with alcohol.

7

psycat said

Chances are, you are an alcohol abuser, not an alcoholic. I’m pretty sure that’s what I am as well.

Getting intoxicated is weekend recreation where I’m from. Has been since I was a teenager. Good or bad, that’s the way it is.

Not exactly sure of the particulars, but I think there is some distinction between alcoholism and alcohol abuse. My guess would be that alcoholism involves more of a physical need for alcohol, rather than a psychological desire. Another factor would be the level to which your drinking negatively affects other aspects of your life.

8

Coldfire, in the US there is a different standard for alchoholism because of the Puritanical streak. Be happy that you are in Amsterdam. Perhaps you could adopt me and find someone to adopt my boyfriend so we could move over there. :wink: Not for the drugs but because it is so much more liberal.

Anyway, Cant, five weeks is still a pretty long time. Only you can really know if you are an alchoholic. My eldest sister is an alcholic but she is not nearly as self-aware. She tells herself that since she only drinks on weekends that she is not an alchoholic but when she drinks she gets completely smashed. It is very sad to see her that way. I would say, that if you drink (even regularly) and don’t drink enough to get drunk then you are not an alchoholic. However, if your sole intention is to get drunk and you do have the passionate need to drink, then there is a problem.

I know alchoholism runs in my family but I still drink every once in a while anyway. I usually don’t drink enough to get drunk but will occasionally go that far. Luckily, I am not a mean drunk. Another question, does drinking make your personality significantly different? I feel sillier when I drink but it is basically me. When I think back about my sister and her drinking habits I know that she changes completely. She changes from basically an extremely shy woman to a woman who constantly talks and won’t shut up. And if you thought I would share things that most people would think were sacreligious and inappropriate, then you haven’t heard what she talks about after getting drunk. She essentially becomes a different person. I am just glad that she isn’t a mean drunk like her ex-husband was.

I am not being judgemental towards you in any way. Thinking that you have a problem and actually having a problem with alchohol are two different things but not necessarily. It can be equated to the hypochondriac who thinks they have eye cancer but actually have pink eye. The analogy there being that you may think there is a serious problem but what you are worrying about is less serious and treatable. I could be completely wrong on this. If I were you, and I have wondered about my own addictive personality before, I would try finding other ways to socialize outside of alchohol. Find friends that you don’t have to go drinking with to have fun. Simple things like that lead to a different quality of life and make the times you do decide to drink more appropriate to celebrations than just the every weekend thing that college students do.

I hope this is useful for you.
HUGS!
Sqrl

9

Oooh, I love this subject. Seriously.

I subscribe to pretty much the same beliefs as Alcholics Anonymous. I’m not an expert on everything they believe, but I do know that they believe the following:

1. No one can tell an alcoholic that they’re an alcoholic. Only they can decide that they are one. This makes a lot of sense. I cannot change someone else’s behavior. Labeling someone else does nothing to stop destructive behavior. Labeling yourself is a step in the direction of recovery.

2. You are an alcoholic if you believe that alcohol causes problems in your life.

The old definition of an alcoholic as a staggering drunk who can’t live without alcohol is covered under this new definition. I think the point is that alcoholics can recognize their addiction earlier if they are on the lookout for problems in their life caused by alcohol.

Kinda vague, eh? “Problems” - purely your own definition. Many people would say that they’ve never driven when they were drunk or been arrested while drunk, so they’re not an alcoholic. What about these problems: Do you argue with your spouse when you’re drunk? Have you ever called in sick to work when you were hung over? Have you ever resorted to physical violence when you were under the influence? Have you ever committed adultery when you were drunk?

I believe both of these statements.

The day after Easter I wanted to call in sick soooo bad. I was pretty much useless at work, too. All I did was consider that maybe I have a problem with alcohol. And when I said to myself (in a stereotypically alcoholic way), “I can quit whenever I want!” It was a challenge to me. I didn’t make it to six weeks but I did clear several stressful hurdles without alcohol.

Only time will tell, I guess.

10

Well, OK then, I say I’m not an alcoholic, so I’m not.
I don’t evedn think I would consider myself an alcohol abuser, I like the term party girl, personally.

I have no problems when I drink, I never argue or call out are even get sad or angry. I dance, I mingle, I gab, I have incredible sex, alcohol is damn good in my book. So there.

11

Cool beans psycat, more buzzedness to ya. :smiley:

I’m looking forward to sitting down with a nice cold Molson, watching a movie and crocheting an afghan for my best friend.

::ahhh::

12

Every physician knows a couple of quick screening tests for problem drinking. for routine screening (at a physical) I use the CAGE questions, and follow up if it detects warning signs.

Have you ever felt you should Cut down on your drinking?
Are you ever Annoyed by criticism of your drinking?
Do you ever have Guilty feelings about your drinking?
Do you ever have a morning Eyeopener?

Even one “yes” answer should be investigated. Two, of course, warrants stronger suspicion. Three or more is highly suggestive.

Various studies have showd that this test can have a 90-98% sensitivity [detection rate of problem drinkers] and I think the specificity is about 70-80% [High specificity means most people who test ‘positive’ have a drinking problem of some sort].

I find morning drinking to be the strongest indicator of the our. However, the CAGE (or the 10 question Brief MAST) is only a screening test. Many people who have some signs are not (or are no longer) problem drinkers. However it is impressive how many problem drinkers (defined as someone whose drinking seriously impacts their life) don’t see the impact, or believe such behavior is common and normal. Study after study shows that the great majority of people do not need to drink to relax or fall asleep, yet it is almost impossible to convince a problem drinker of this. Alcohol is overrepresented in their life, and they cannot imagine that over half of all American adults go to a bar or liquor store less than once a month.

For more advanced problem drinkers, there may be other signs: history of multiple job changes without strong reason; DUI convictions; multiple unexplained accidents (household or auto) including falls and scrapes; history impulsive behavior or fighting; blackouts, shakes, lost weekends; etc. It may take many years for the problem drinking to reach this stage.

I could provide some more detailed tests, if there’s enough interest to justify a ton’o’typing for a post most people [problem drinkers or not] would simply skip

Often workplace performance is the last thing to be affected.

13

If you concentrate it into one day is it better? I would think that then it would be binge drinking. With my alcohol tolerance, it would be self-abuse, but that is another thread.

14

I don’t know the “correct” terms, but there are two general kinds of “alcoholics”. When I was last taking psychology and related subjects, we thought of them as “true” alcoholics and “problem drinkers”, but the terms are not important. Here’s the distinction: “true” alcoholics are physically dependent on alcohol, just as heroin addicts are physically addicted to the drug. These are the alcoholics many people think of when they hear the word, the ones that get the shakes when they stop drinking, may go into dt’s and the like if withdrawing, and will, in a time of desperation when no liquor is available, drink things like rubbing alcohol or mouthwash. Some people use this critera as proof to themselves that they aren’t alcoholics, since they don’t fit that category. (“I don’t even drink every day, so obviously I don’t have a problem.”) The addiction of a “problem drinker” is psychological instead of physical, and far more common. This person doesn’t necessarily drink every day, would never think of drinking mineral spirits, would never suffer dt’s upon stopping drinking, and can avoid alcohol, if sufficiently motivated, for a day, a week, a month, or a year. However, this person shows some of the patterns already described:

When you do drink, it’s to excess. (How many times have you said, “Well, I’ll just have one or two,” only to find yourself staggering a case or half a bottle later?) Can’t stop at one or two. Order another drink at the bar before your last one is quite done so you don’t have a gap between.

You’ve intended to not drink but found yourself drinking anyway. The urge to have one even if you aren’t particularly in the mood. Promised yourself/someone else you’d abstain but then didn’t.

When deciding whether or not to participate in an activity, the thought, “Will there be alcohol?” typically occurs to you, even if you don’t actually base your decision on the answer.

Others are concerned about your drinking. Granted, there are those who have distorted attitudes about drinking and think ANY drinking makes you an alcoholic (I know some). But do others who you consider “normal” drinkers think you excessive?

Trouble stemming from drinking. Not one isolated incident in twenty years, but repeated incidents, large and small - arrest, car wreck, destruction of property (be it a smashed fence or a ruined rug), losing things while drunk, missing work or not being able to perform well while you’re there, ugly incidents with friends or family, spending more money than you meant to while drinking, making dumb decisions while intoxicated. Losing control of your actions and behavior when you drink. An alcoholic I know says that he can name just about any unpleasant incident from his life of the past 20 years and the answer to the question “Was alcohol involved?” is “yes” 99.8% of the time.

Thinking about getting to a drink when you’re in a situation where you can’t. Not in the sense of “I’m going to freak if I don’t get a drink soon”, but more like “I can’t wait to leave this boring family party so I can go home and break out the beer.”

This is not a clinical list by any means, but just some things to consider. The fact that you didn’t drink for five weeks and then did doesn’t prove or disprove that you are an alcoholic (or problem drinker or whatever, although it does indicate you don’t have an acute physical addication). But the fact that it has occurred to you to consider the question indicates that, at the very least, you should keep an eye on yourself and try to observe your patterns honestly. If you can, talk to a caring friend and ask their objective opinion. You don’t have to assume you’re standing on the brink of utter destruction this very afternoon, but if it occurs to you to wonder, at least you are right to be concerned. Don’t worry about measurements that are supposed to make the judgement for you (how many a day, or how many a week, or how many days a week, or whatever), because it’s a very individual thing that can’t be reduced to or decided about based on such objective calculations. Only you know the role and the impact of your own drinking on your life, and the degree to which it is a problem, if it is.

My .02.

15

Wonderful posts, everyone.

I wanted to talk about part of cygnus’s post:

This is just so amazingly true. Although I’d add “or drugs” in there and change it to 99.9%.

Scary scary.

16

Canthearea, interesting experiment. I have thought about this several times, since I have been known to put down a few, but you are describing the type of alcohol use that will not lead to trouble. You sound like someone who enjoys life, and alcohol is a “side-note”. I have similar feelings about it. I don’t think about when the next drink will be. I do have several a week, and sometimes several a day. “Social drinking” used to be a popular phrase, I think I like this one - “I’m social, therefore I drink” haha.

I do not want to make light of this for those who have had to deal with serious drinking problems, alcoholism obviously can be very devastating. Reasonable use of alcohol is not a problem, and actually does take down some walls for many people in social situations.

Sili
(off to have a drink or two!)

17

Sili, I have gone through something that was very devastating, but I liken it to any close family death. My dad did die from being an alcoholic but it was no different than the pain of losing my mom to cancer.

As much as I loved him dearly and wished him a longer life, I don’t let what happened to him rule my life. As an adult he made his own choices just as I do.

I drink, not alot, but on the other hand, I let loose too. I love my ice cold beer, especially in the summer time and I’ve been known to let my hair down so to speak on hmmm well maybe one or two occasions. I think that if a person is comfortable with how they live their life then thats all that matters.