On avoiding the abuse of alcohol . . .

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d really appreciate hearing what has worked for you, what hasn’t and any important facts or anecdotes you’d be interested in sharing.

Let me pull no punches from the getgo - I think I’ve been in pretty bad shape for awhile and am determined to remedy that. I owe that to myself, those who depend on me at work, my friends, but most of all to my family. Don’t get me wrong - I’m one of those pleasant, non-violent at home imbibers who simply loves the taste of a good wine, beer or drink and admittedly enjoys the buzz a little bit too. But it’s having a detrimental effect on my health, appearance, work and quality of life and I’m ready for that to stop.

Recently, after a particularly aqueous evening, I awoke to next morning to discover two distressing physical ailments had manifested themselves overnight. My back ached, not as in spinal distress but more like the liver or kidney was in trouble. Scary as that was, my mind also seemed none too clear - I’m guessing from my organ(s) being in distress and a toxic situation developing in my blood. Two days of purging myself with lots of water has given me plenty of time to reflect, reconsider and sufficiently come to grips with the fact that either I change or I die.

I’ve been reading a great deal of the information online about alcoholism, it’s symptoms, medical consequences and treatment. It is my hope and intention that I can follow a suitable course through self will alone and skip the entire medical internment and prescription drug route. I’ve been strong enough in the past to be sucessful with this in a variety of other compulsive addictions I’d enjoyed. I’m under no illusion though that this will be the toughest battle by far.

So, any sugestions, either professional or personal? Many thanks in advance for any submission and, as always, feel free to be perfectly candid.

2

A couple of months ago that entire OP could have come from me. I have not quit but my drinking has stabilised and I am a whole lot less dependant on it. And am slowly becoming still less dependant.

What works for me might not work for you. I have begun taking Melatonin suplements to help me sleep. I take one before drinking (Probably not wise, but neither is binge drinking) and I seem to be ‘ready’ for bed after far less alcohol than in the past.

I do enjoy drinking of a night time, but increasingly I am deciding that I ‘don’t feel like it’ so I don’t drink. I also don’t get much sleep, but the melatonin at least allows me some sleep.

I recognise the back ache symptoms you describe. I had them months ago, and at the time I felt very worried that I’d finally done some damage to my internal organs. Now they seem absolutely fine.

3

As an admitted alcoholic, the only thing that works for me is abstinence, which I achieved through the help of the good folks at AA. They can give you the tools you need to change your life around, not just “dry out.”

twicks, clean and sober 19 years, 2 months, 3 days.

4

Oh, this post isn’t as funny as your normal ones.

It’s impossible to say without knowing the “grip” it has on you.

By way of personal story, which probably isn’t that helpful at all. . .

I drank a LOT from entry into college until probably about 30. At least a lot for a pretty highly functioning person. In college, and grad school, I DRANK. Drank something every day. Got drunk 2-3 times a week, every week. Drank self into stupor a couple times per month.

Oddly enough, I never felt like it had a “grip” on me, and I think I was right. I always had fun, never drove, and stayed up with studies and work and exercise.

All I can say is that getting along in grad school, I turned the “stupors” into regular “drunks”. Then, I turned 2-3 drunks per week into 1.

When I met my (future) wife when I was 27, I cut back even more. Still drank every day, but didn’t really get drunk more than a couple times per month, and those were more like “get drunk on the couch, smoke a joint, watch a movie, fall asleep” (that probably sounds sad to people who don’t drink, but it’s really not).

Now, I still drink, and even really tie one on from time to time, but it’s just so much less. It seems to stay with me longer in the morning so I thought it was getting to my liver. A lot of times now, if I drink, I can’t sleep through the night, which drives me crazy.

I wouldn’t want to cut it out because I get a lot of enjoyment from alcohol. But all I can say is, force yourself to cut back. Feel weak and guilty if you have that extra one.

I used to automatically have a beer when I got home, at least 1 drink with dinner, then anywhere from 1-3 drinks after dinner. I just really turned that into a drink with dinner and a drink before bed. Now, I just try to do a drink with dinner.

It was possible for me to get my drinking become reasonable for an adult with responsibilities. Might be for you.

5

What helped me was the realization, finally, that I couldn’t just slow down or cut back, I had to quit. I had been drinking more and more over the years and I found that alcohol had really taken control of my life. I was spending far too much time planning how to stop by the liquor store without my family realizing and how to dispose of the empties without anyone hearing the bottles clinking around in the trash. I was planning my time and my kids’ activities around my drinking, making sure that they were somewhere else and that I wouldn’t have to pick them up so I could drink without worrying about driving. I spent my day waiting for 5 o’clock, or until after I was finally home for the evening and I could have my first drink, and I started to cut back on my activities so I could have more time drinking.

A few times I was able to cut back or even to quit for a few months, but I always got it in my head that I was OK and I could start again. It didn’t work. I finally stopped all together just over a year ago, and I keep having to remind myself that I can’t start again. It’s easier now, but I still have to struggle. I have considered AA, but so far I’ve been OK on my own. One book that really helped me to decide to quit and gave me the strength to stay sober was Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp. Although I wasn’t as bad as the author, I could really see myself heading towards it.

Just like smoking, you the first thing you have to do is make up your mind to just quit.

6

Sorry, certainly should have proofed better as “I’m under no illusion though that this won’t be the toughest battle by far.”

Lobsang, periodically I’d take Benadryl early in the evening in the hope I’d tire faster and, therefore, drink less. But that often left me drowsy the next day so now I’m trying an increased exercise regimen instead, both to keep me busy and ready for bed earlier.

twickster, that’s one impressive streak. You have every right to be proud.

Trunk, some of our experiences were similar but unfortunately I kept going down the path. When I met my wife I quit smoking and the recreational drugs but with most weeks away on lonely consulting jobs in distant cities those first few years, the drinking probably increased. It’s amazing what kind of a tolerance you can build over time. The last few years I’d say a case of wine a week was the average. I was still high functioning as my job requires but I knew it was taking it’s toll.

Your story is interesting to me, WVmom, because I’m hoping this is something I can hold to more moderate amounts but still enjoy from time to time. I really would like to build a restricted but tolerant disposition because, when limited, I must say I enjoy it quite a bit.

Also, I’ve always judged myself harshly and wonder how much of my indulgance in the past was an attempt to explore the bottom, to see how low I could go and still come back. Some of the day afters were pretty effing bleak. Sometimes I’d drink even when I didn’t feel like it, almost to punish myself, and it’s that destructive mindset that the bottle is such an effective bullet for.

7

I am a recovering alcoholic too. I have been sober since last July. It has been very hard and I am a member of AA and pretty much everything else that relates to alcoholism in some way. I am not going to give you any advise on that end because I am still fairly new to it myself. However, I would urge you to reconsider avoiding medical care for your alcohol related physical symptoms. Alcohol is one of the few drugs that you can die from by stopping cold turkey. DT’s and seizures can be very dangerous. Even if you don’t get the worst-case withdrawal symptoms, you are still very likely to get some that are still very uncomfortable such as shaking hands, profuse sweating, and waves of anxiety for a few days. Those become the worst a few days after you stop and commonly trigger a relapse. I was scared to go into a detox because of fear of the unknown and the stigma if word got out. It was not bad at all. I just sat around and read books for three days while the nurses gave anti-withdrawal medications and doctors went over my systems with a fine-tooth comb to evaluate me for any permanent damage (the wasn’t any miraculously enough). I was glad that I did it that way. If you don’t want to go in the hospital, please ask a doctor for advise on what to do if anything goes wrong and ask for an outpatient physical assessment for your liver, kidneys, etc.

8

Thanks Shag. You just pinpointed the epicenter of my uncertainty: wanting to be strong enough to do this on my own vs. having just read that cold turkey could be deadly in some of the online journals and also wanting to make sure no treatment was necessary for the recent symptoms. I am trying to stay well hydrated and carb loaded but did fear that maybe talking with a doc and letting him decide might be prudent.

Thanks for that.

9

Well, there are a few things you can do.

Decide how many drinks you can have on a given night. And stick to it. If you want 4 beers, put them in the fridge. I know I have a habit if they are there and cold, you’re gonna drink 'em. If you can plan ahead with your rational and sober mind…you can thank yourself later. This can be hard when you are opening a bottle of wine–make your glasses small, I guess. My glasses hold about 1/4 of a bottle so I switch to a smaller one when I’m home myself.

Keep water or any NA drink next to your drink. When I know I have to drive, I have beer/wine and then a whole glass of water or a soda.

Eat.

Sing - believe it or not, if you are singing along with your favorite songs, you just can’t drink all that much. (This of course, only happens when I am alone with the dogs, who tend to leave the room :wink: )

I go to my bar 2 hours before closing. Any more than that and I forget to count my drinks…

BUTTT–I guess it depends what is causing you to drink so much. Is it because it’s there, numbing, force of habit…none or all of these things can apply. But, whatever it is, you know you want to cut down so DO IT :smiley:

10

Trying to moderate your drinking and failing repeatedly generally means quitting altogether is the best course of action. YMMV, of course.

If you are a member of Kaiser, their chemical dependency recovery program is very strong. It’s outpatient: two weeks intensive than 2-6 months follow up. You will learn a lot about the long term effects alcohol has had on your body, as well as standard 12-step stuff, which honestly would benefit just about everybody on the planet, not just boozebags. It’s so helpful to have the structure and support in your earliest days, plus if you are having trouble, the doctors are there to keep an eye on you. You’ll get acupuncture, which really helps. And trazadone for nighttime, which will help you sleep. The not sleeping can really get to you and make you think you need booze to get to sleep.

Good luck in whatever you do. Remember, you don’t have to be a job losin pants pissin drunk to quit. If it’s giving you problems, now’s the time. It will only get worse.

11

essvee gives good advice. You could try an outpatient program. Insurance companies pay for them and soom of them are great. I truly loved mine even though it was related to a deadly problem. As much as you think you know, I promise that is only the tip of the iceberg. I have a degree in psychopharmacology so I was confident that my level of knowledge was far superior to anything that professionals or others in recovery could teach me. Let’s just say that I could not have been more wrong.

Sleep disturbance even after days, weeks, or longer of quitting is kind of disturbing. People told me that I would start having weird dreams involving tactile sensations like bugs crawling on me or all over the room. I brushed it off at the time but that just proved that I didn’t know everything because it happened. That is very common post-acute withdrawal symptom. That’s another thing, you have probably learned some about acute withdrawal symptoms. You really need to talk to experts in person to learn about post-acute withdrawal symptoms. That part is much more complex and lasts anywhere from a couple of months to a year.

12

I forgot to say congrats to Shag and to say I’ve been sober for 3.5 years. I’m very much still in early recovery. There is an interesting cat named Terence Gorsky who has done a bunch of scientific stuff about alcoholism. In his developmental model of alcoholism, he says that early recovery lasts from 4 to 9 years, and that it takes 11 or 12 years before alcoholics’ results are indistingishable from non alcoholics’ results in some physiological testing. One of his books is called “Staying Sober.”

The nasty stuff can do a lot more damage than one might be aware of. This kind of knowledge has helped to keep me sober.

13

As far as moderation goes, maybe you can do it, maybe you can’t, it depends on the person. It just didn’t work for me. One drink always leads to another, so as long as I was allowing myself to buy it, I was always falling into the same pattern. That’s not to say I haven’t had anything at all to drink in the past year. I have allowed myself to drink on “special occasions”. I drank while on vacation, and I was able to confine it just to there - as long as I didn’t bring it home. I have also had a beer or glass of wine a time or two here. That’s not my usual drink, so I was able to just have one or two on the occasion (Christmas or whatever) and then leave it alone. I think the biggest thing for me is to not bring any of my drink (bourbon) home, since that’s where the trouble starts. I had to break the pattern.

14

I’m not an alcoholic, but I was a very prolific drinker. I went to beer alone, since I would get full faster. I set my limit at three for a bar. I even gave up domestic beer one Lent (not an observing Catholic, even). I’d cut back, and it would creep back up.

It began showing up in liver tests. For more than just one reason, I just stopped altogether JUST over three years ago.

No more hangovers every so often, no risk of drunk driving, less money spent. I’m happy with it.

It is possible that you are NOT an alcoholic, even though you may exhibit signs that you are. I decided to quit about 10pm one night, drank all the beer in the house (not much) and that was it.

If you ARE an alcoholic, though, this would be a bit tougher than my experience.

15

I was up to fourteen beers a day on a weekday and more on the weekends. I had tried to cut back or quit on my own but it wouldn’t last, my drinking would just creep up again to the old levels or more.

What worked for me was moving. I met a woman who rarely drinks, I moved to a new state and I made new friends who don’t pound down beer as a hobby. Once I was away from my drinking environment I had a much easier time cutting back. I can’t (or won’t) quit entirely, my inner drunk is too much a part of me to kick out forever, but I do limit my heavy drinking to one day a month. After six years of this it only takes eight or nine beers to keep me happy on my drunk day rather than the case I would need in my old life. I also know what it’s like to just have a beer or two then stop, thats something I couldn’t manage before.

The other posters are right about drying out. The nightmares I had while detoxing were the worst ones of my life and they were all about death. My death, other peoples’ deaths, dead people walking, you get the idea.

16

The only thing that seems to work for my family is quitting altogether. In Spain that can be quite difficult - ironically, the growing preoccupation with alcoholism and drugs has made it easier, but there is a very low tolerance for non-drinkers.

I never got drunk, but alcohol’s first negative effect on me is a migraine so I figured out it would be easier to just quit than try to figure out how much I can have of each kind. One of my brothers got drunk once, then the next time he went out he realized he was this >< close to getting drunk as badly and hasn’t touched the stuff since. The other brother is a weekend alcoholic - if he comes back by 3am he is only a bit whoozy but if it’s later there’s puke to clean up, friday and saturday night. Mom has been on heavy medication for over 40 years but under the excuse that “red wine is good for you” and “it’s just a herbal” she kicks her liver with a couple cups a day; she’s been addicted to her meds at least twice. Her Mom calls the brandy bottle “aspirin” :stuck_out_tongue:

My own two cents, see if cutting down works (sj2’s advice works for Cocacola and me), and if not - cold turkey time.