I’ve finally made up my mind. After running through a series of ex-girlfriends and an ex-wife, I’ve come to the conclusion that booze has got to go. I feel I’ve crossed the border from “Problem Drinker” to “Dependent Drinker” and I don’t like what it’s doing to my life (see ex-etc. above).
I have the number of a reputable rehab clinic in my pocket (outpatient, after work hours), but just wanted to get your dopers thoughts before I make the call.
Anyone been in the same boat? Anyone IN the same boat? Any help/advice you can give will be much appreciated (and hopefully, used).
Rehab will give you the tools you need to get sober. It will then be up to you to pick up those tools and use them. If you’re really ready, god bless you. If you’re not, hopefully you will be before the drinking kills you.
Sobriety is an amazing adventure, and well worth the effort.
I once had a major problem but mine Drug Of Choice was coke. Did a bunch of coke. But, like you, I came to realize it was controlling and then destroying my life. I did manage to give it up completely but I never was in any support group so I can’t comment to that part.
Booze it tough because it is everywhere and at many (or all) the places you are accustomed to going to relax or meet people. In my case, the same was true of my DoC. I had to drop out of my old social circles and even some of my old friends. Aside from the physiological difficulties there’s social and lifestyle problems to overcome and adapt to in day to day life.
I wish you all the best of luck and I hope you can come out the other side and see what you life can be and should be.
Make a decision and don’t look back.
Hang tough and keep us posted.
Nic
Thank you. I’ve been thinking about this since my divorce six years ago and it really stoked the coals when my present (now ex) gf gave me the same reasons my previous gf had given me.
That “One Day At A Time” thing really works. You just don’t have to drink today.
Stop keeping booze in the house. You’ll have a better chance of drinking less if you have to go out and get it. And make yourself walk to the liquor store.
Thanks for the advice Annie, but that’s part of the problem - the liquor store is right on my path when I go home from work. At this point, it just seems natural to me to grab a six (or 12) on the way home. I need to stop doing that, but it’s just habit now.
Can you take a different path home? Or carry just enough money so you won’t have any left at the end of the day? Or even walk on the other side of the street?
The trick to to not drink, ever. And in order to do that use every tool, trick and method that you get from rehab. I will not have had a drink for 25 years come 11 October. One of my methods was to just keep putting it off. While I was drinking it might take me three or four hours to go to the hardware store for a few wood screws. Had to stop for a few beers you know. When I quit, with the help of AA, i would sometimes get in my car and head to town. Along the way I would decide, “No, I’ll put this off until tomorrow.” And then one day I suddenly realized that I hadn’t had a drink for seven whole days. As I said I’ve been sober for twenty four years yet even that isn’t as meaningful as that realisation of seven non-drinking days. In my case, in time the thought of drinking just disappeared and now I don’t even think about it.
Don’t drink, get support, take rehab seriously. I think you have a pretty good shot at it since it would appear you are going to try sobriety for yourself and not to placate someone else.
I’m with the group here! Clean and sober 15 years, btw.
One last binge? Why? You just got through telling us that drinking isn’t working for you. Don’t be a dumbass- this could be the time you drive in a blackout and kill somebody.
Rehab only gives you the tools- you must pick them up, and I mean every single day. Sure, it will get a bit easier with time, but don’t hold your breath waiting for it.
You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Period. People can help you but they cannot keep you sober. Only you can choose to not drink, just like only you can choose to drink.
It can be done, and it’s worth it. But no one can make the decision for you.
Good luck. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever love (to paraphrase).
I have been working on recovery from an anxiety disorder for over two years now (I’d give myself about a 95% recovered rate at this point), and it is very interesting to see how the advice given to someone to quit alcohol is so similar to what we use to quit anxiety.
One thing people here haven’t mentioned yet, and it’s one of the nuts and bolts of making a life change like you’re about to embark on - a lot of what you’re doing is habit at this point, and it takes time to break a habit, and you’ll have much better success if you replace a bad habit with a better one, than just gutting out quitting the bad one. You walk home past a liquor store and buy alcohol every day? That’s one of your habits. Walk a different route, but make it something rewarding for you - walk past a pet store and look at the puppies each day, walk past a book store and look at interesting titles each day, walk past a bakery and enjoy the fantastic smells - you get the idea.
You say alcohol has become your main focus, and I believe you - time to do a little work and figure out what else you like to do, and get re-acquainted with those things. Best wishes to you (I won’t wish you good luck, because luck has nothing to do with it - changing your life is hard work, but work that you can do with motivation, persistence, time and patience. )
You know what? This is some of the best advice I’ve heard so far. I feel like alcohol is just part of my routine, and I need to break the routine. I think I’ll get off the train at Addison or Fullerton and then just walk the rest of the way home from now on. (okay, Fullerton - there are way too many bars between Addison and where I live).
Your OP reminds me very much of a guy I used to date - I enjoyed his company, sex was fantastic, we had a lot in common - but the booze was more important than I was. I couldn’t handle a relationship with someone who drank every single day - starting first thing in the morning if he wasn’t working.
You can do this, and you have something very important on your side - you want to stop. Keep us posted on how you are doing, and remember that there are lots of people who don’t really know you cheering you on!
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