All in a day's work at Wally-World...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I hurt my shoulder a couple weeks ago and I am now performing the duties of “Exit Door Greeter” (I work at Wal-Mart). Despite the job title, I have yet to greet a single door (nor even a married one ;)).

This provides me with an endless display of humanity, which would be discouraging if I had an unreasonably high opinion of myself (I think my high opinion of myself is rather reasonable – but enough about me :D). Each day brings a few interesting and/or amusing moments, and I thought I’d share a few examples.

How you phrase an expression makes a world of difference.

While I was subbing for the greeter in the garden center, I decided to say “Are you having a good day?” instead of “Have a nice day!” The latter phrase is usually met with indifference, punctuated by the occasioinal hostile response of someone who is definitely NOT having a nice day. Asking someone if they’re having a good day changes the response considerably. At the very least, AYHAGD will bring a smile to the customer’s face, and some folks act as though they were just waiting to be asked. Even if they’re not having a good day they don’t mind being asked if they are, as opposed to being told to have one anyway.

Children say the damndedest things.

A family had just checked out and was approaching my door, each pushing a basket of goods. There was a father and a mother, a three-year-old boy in one basket and a one-year-old boy in the other. The mother was carrying an infant. As they were leaving the store, the 3-year-old leans over my way, looks me in the eye and asks: “Can I have a sister?”

I presume that this means the infant was also a boy.

People don’t realize that what they say can be interpreted any way other than the way they meant it.

Two very attractive young ladies wearing low-cut tops and with, er, visibly *abundant *assets approached me, held out their reciepts and asked “Do you want to check us out?” It took me a couple seconds to quell the impulse to tell them I’d been checking them out since they came into view. Finally, I said: “You already have your reciepts. You can go if you like.” They went. Oh, well. It’s a considerable strain to appear not to be staring when confronted with something you really want to stare at.

Have any of you had a similarly illuminating experience at (or away from) work? Please share.

–SSgtBaloo

2

Sure.

No Matter How Many Signs You Post, People Won’t Look

People coming into our stores had to look right at a sign with our hours listed on it for several seconds, cause it was posted on the inside of the door. They would pull the door open–with the hours thing on it, mind–and come inside to ask us our hours. They’d ask us where the DVDs were…well, right under the sign that says DVDs. The huge one you can see from the entrance. We’d get people trying to use the Other Chain’s stuff at our store. They would come in and manage to miss the Giant Name on the front of the store, the little brand name on every single bit of in-store signage, the store’s name on all our nametags, etc. and only figure out what store they were in after they tried to use their Other Chain gift card and we said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t take that here.” I seriously have to wonder about people who don’t know what friggin’ store they’re in.

3

True! I walked into the local Whole Foods store a while back, and one of the workers walked by me. I like to look at people and smile at them, and he smiled back and said “How are you, my friend?” and walked on.

I didn’t know him from Adam’s housecat, but I walked on with an even bigger smile. I thought that was charming.

4

I was working as a restroom janitor in our factory’s office building, and I had the upstairs ladies’ room closed for cleaning. I had the door propped open with my equipment cart so I could hear the Handel overtures on the tape player, and I could make it really obvious the joint was closed. I looked up from my mopping to find a woman standing in the restroom. She said she wanted to ask me something. She spoke in a charming accent. “When this room is open, the door is closed. When it’s closed for cleaning, it’s open. Why does your sign say closed when it’s open?”

I shrugged and said, “Well, I guess that’s true, but I don’t have an answer for you.” :confused:

5

The answer is simple. When it’s closed for cleaning, it’s open for ventilation. ;:

6

I have nothing to add to your thread. I just want to ask a question. Many moons ago, in my lurking days, there was a Baloo on the forum. Are you he, reincarnated?

7

Yes, it is I, Baloo, reincarnated. My computer died (motherboard problems) in December of 2000, and then I was fired from that job on the mesa (more about which in a later post, if anyone decides to ask). I must say, after looking at my old posts I seem to have been much more articulate than I am now. Maybe I’ll get better with practice.

In the intervening time, I forgot my password. My sister sent me this computer last November and I finally got back online last month. I even use the same ISP as before (I-net of New Mexico, a.k.a. 3lefties.com).

–Baloo, SSgt, USAF, RET. (SSgtBaloo)

8

We, like GMRyujin’s store, have a very large, very bright pink sign posted that says “Soda is available in the vending machines at the end of the hall” or something similar yet at least 35 times a day (we get maybe 100 customers on a good day) we hear “YOU ALL SELL POP???” No, kind sir. There is soda available in the vending machines at the end of the hall.

pop. :::shudder:::

9

Well, welcome back Baloo. I always enjoyed your posts, and I remember that you had some pretty funny stuff on your website.

Glad you’re back.

10

Oh, yeah, the poster formerly known as Baloo… please tell me you emailed an admin about changing your name.

I’d hate to see you get banned for an honest mistake.

(IANAM)

11

Look, after three years offline, I feel like a completely different person. My old email address is kaput, my old account is inactive, so why not start anew. It’s not like I plan on changing my name every three years.

–SSgtBaloo

12

Well, it’s against the SDMB rules to create another account without notifying the mods and will lead to banning if they find out (even if you obviously aren’t trolling). Why not email Lynn and ask for the password to your old account and for a name change on that one? That way you can stay and be all legal and stuff. :slight_smile:

13

I had thought that it would be impossible to prove my identity since my old email address is no more, so I figured I’d just get a fresh start. Since you think I’m about to get the BBS version of tarred/feathered/rode-outta-town-on-a-rail, I’d better email the authorities and turn myself in. I don’t know my way aroung the board like I used to. Who’s lynn and where will I find her email address?

–SSgtBaloo

14

Don’t tell me that you’re the Baloo at the Clovis Wal-Mart? Its gotta be you, I walked right past you today. L Damn small world. Please let me know if I’m on the right track and I’ll give you a “Hi, Opal” next time I see you.

15

Give da man a cee-gar! Yep! Dat be me allright. Gee! I never knew there were any other dopers closer than a hundred miles (give-or-take).

(We now return you to your regularly-scheduled thread.)

Sometimes the observations you make are more about yourself than the people you’re watching. F’rinstance, I decided I really am a parent (despite TW’s interference) when I was more interested in watching some parents deal with their child’s “meltdown” than in surreptitiously ogling the many good-looking wimmen that were around at that time.

–SSgtBaloo

P.S.: Anybody know who I’m s’posed to email to keep from getting banned for forgetting my old password after 3 years please respond with some useful info. Soon.

16

Here ya go!

Click where it says, “send message via email.”
::Tips hat:: Nice to meet you, by the way.

Here is my funny work story contibution to the thread. :slight_smile:

17

Thanks, large, torie. I’ve emailed the appropriate authorities and am now awaiting my arrest.

–SSgtBaloo

18

Well, I can’t really put on airs and call myself a “Doper” but I lurk and read the posts pretty much every day and enjoy myself none-the-less. I hope your shoulder gets better soon.