All Musician Dopers READ THIS NOW!

I saw Homer’s thread announcing that his CD was finished, and it hit me: There are a slew of musicians on this board, (Monfort, pldennison and idiotboy come to mind, and those are just the guys and gals I met in person) and I am an internationally renowned music critic!

No really… Hey, stop laughing! I’m the poorest writer to have ever been published in three continents…

Here are some of my clips if you don’t believe me!

Anyway, I wanted to contribute to Teemings, and this seemed like a great way for me to do something I’ve been told to be good at (I ain’t no Lester Bangs, but I do what I can) while at the same time helping promote some of the bands made up of the Teeming Million musicians!

If you are in a band or are a solo musician, no matter what kind of music you play (I’ve scribbled about almost every genre of music, a few even somewhat intelligently), I want to review your music in a column for Teemings!

The only real catch (aside from I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to get a bunch of music from the Tuning Millions so when it runs is anyone’s guess) is that you need to send me stuff physically. I am stuck on a dial-up and I don’t have a huge-ass hard drive to put MP3’s, so I am not downloading tunes.

Assuming you can send me your stuff - whether it’s a full-length 15-song masterpiece produced by Trent Reznor and Sean “Puffy” Combs or a live demo cassette - please e-mail me and I’ll send you the submission criteria and my address and stuff. I am at, so send me something and please put “Tuning Millions” in the subject line! That’s the working title for the column (other suggestions welcome).

Don’t worry if it’s an older band or something. It’s all for fun. And I can break the news to you that you broke up the next Beatles! :wink:

Oh, and lest you think otherwise, I don’t plan on submitting any candy-assed fluffy reviews. I’ll be constructive in any criticisms I may have to make (I’m a professional, you know), but if you suck, I WILL find a way to make that known! Evil laughter

If you’re not scared off by that, get me that e-mail and I’ll hook you up with the info…

Yer pal,

Ten months, three days, 2 hours, 49 minutes and 18 seconds.
12364 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,545.80.
Extra life saved: 6 weeks, 22 hours, 20 minutes.

See my Sig File FAQ:

Thanks, Brian! I just emailed you. Sounds like fun, and the constructive criticism could go a long way if a band needs help.

On the other hand, if the review is favorable, would a band be allowed to post the review on their web page? I know that if the review end sup getting published for some reason, that only a link could be posted.

According to the Editorial Guidelines of Teemings:

As such, as long as you refer to both Teemings and the name of the author (my real name, not Satan!) anywhere you reproduce quotations from my reviews, you can use quotes or even the whole review on webpages, press kits, posters, or anywhere else, really. A link to the original column online would be nice as well…

(If I am misinterpreting anything in the Copyright guidelines and/or if any of the editorial folks involved with Teemings would like to make a demand/request along the lines of how the column can be used, please post it here!)

Oh, and one more request: If I can’t ascertain your screen name here from your e-mail address easily, please include your screen name in the e-mail you send me. If in doubt, just add it - I’ve been away for a while, you know.

Meephead, you don’t have to worry about it since I know who you are now and am adding your name to the e-mail now.

Yer pal,

Ten months, three days, 5 hours, 1 minute and 34 seconds.
12368 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,546.25.
Extra life saved: 6 weeks, 22 hours, 40 minutes.

See my Sig File FAQ:

Two things, really:

  1. You seem to be assuming that music=popular music as evidenced by repeated use of the word “band”); and

  2. you seem to be assuming that musician=performers of original compositions.

I know you say “any kind of music”, but do you really want, say, a tape of my choir singing Verdi?

Brian, I would be very interested in your opinion of my band. You have free reign over what ever you want to use.

If you need any more info please ask.

I’m not in a band anymore, but I’m itchin’ to get back in the bass strap.

You’ve heard my last band’s stuff, though, I think.

I might be working on some new stuff in the coming days, so I’ll keep you posted if I have anything worth listening to.

It’s funny this thread should appear. I was about to post a somewhat related thread.

For awhile now I have noticed that there are a lot of musicians here at SDMB with a large variety of styles. Being that SDMB is a pretty tight knit community, I thought it might be fun to compile a cd for distribution purely for this board featuring it’s members.

I would be willing to comile and burn cd’s. I haven’t a plan yet for how to work this out but I was just curious If anyone would be interested in submitting material.

Cool! A Straight Dope Sampler! I might have some stuff for you, but it would be a while before I get it recorded to my satisfaction.

Would there be a stipulation that the submitting Doper performed the piece (or a part thereof), or would producing it be sufficient?

Anything to be able to share my art and enjoy some new music is a bonus.

Well I was actually looking for doper performed material (not just produced) but of course nothing is set in stone. If there is any really interest maybe we could all discuss how it will go.

Any other takers?

I have the same question. If the answer is “yes,” though, I’ll be happy to send you a burnt copy of the CD from the Premiere Concert of the Univeristy of Michigan Life Sciences Orchestra. (In a month or so, when they finally burn the DAT to CD).

(I play violin, by the way.)


Any doper-musicians in the boston area want to get together and record something for review?

I play bass and guitar fairly well, will sing if the occasion calls for it, and I’m itchin to rock-n-roll a little…

with apologies, we now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.

Aha, now this is interesting…

Beelzebubba, I dunno if you’re interested, but I’m in a band-in-progress in the Boston area that is looking for a bass player. Right now, we only have 2 folks (1 guitar and 2 voices), but we want to expand into a full band kinda thing. We have about 10 originals completed… lemme know if you wanna talk more about it.


jr8 (and LazarusLong42): Yes, classical music is far from a strength. However, I have been published writing about rock, jazz and country artists from across many subgenres, and as such I don’t think I misrepresented myself. That said, let’s stick to non-classical popular music, unless you’re a Miranda Sex Garden or Diamanda Galas or something neat like that!

If someone who is better versed in classical music criticism on this board, please speak up soon so maybe we can tag-team on this column with that person handling the classical fare.

TwistofFate: I can only review for Teemings things which I have in hand. I hope you can send me some music in the mail so I can include you in the column. Please e-mail me if you can.

Montfort: Actually, I never heard your old band. We were too busy arguing over who slept with the Republican! :wink: Please feel free to send me something from your old project; I’ll certainly point out in my review that it’s a defunct project. After all, pldennison e-mailed me and is going to burn a compilation CD of a few of his projects over the last decade or so.

pezpunk: The idea of a compilation disc is great, but you have to make sure that everything is legally correct with regard to copyright issues. It’s not my area of expertise, but IIRC even with a free sampler, you need to have anyone on it sign a form waiving their rights to get royalties - mechanical and publishing - from the disc. Also, make sure that nobody on the disc is using material owned by other people (such as covers, samples and the like), because that could bite you in the ass. You also should check with the folks right here on this board, since they will either be a) specifically uninvolved entirely or b) specifically involved in some capacity, and any use you have of copyrighted terms such as “The Straight Dope” or “Teeming Millions” would need clearance if you used them in the packaging. You also need to look into things such as shipping to Dopers who want it and how people would pay for that - unless you wanted to eat costs.

Anyway, if none of this scared you away, maybe you can tie it into Teemings and involve the discs that I am sent to review in it. Let me know any ways that I can help… (liner notes, maybe? :))

To the people looking at starting a band of Dopers for this: Remember to do something with Smug’s Straight Dope-inspired lyrics!!

Yer pal,

Count me in. Satan, I’ve just e-mailed you.

Incidentally, the link in my sig is to my band’s website.

Would you accept stuff from a non-Doper who is married to a Doper? Namely, my husband? I’m always going on here about how damn talented he is, and I’d really like to prove it. :smiley:

Just e-mailed ya, count me in too.

Hmm… I do think that would be cheating.

However, sign the man up, have him post here and send me an e-mail and as far as I am concerned, he is a full-fledged Doper, ready to partake in all of the benefits that title holds… And I’ll review his stuff! :slight_smile:

I’m a-waitin’ on him now!

Oh, and someone sent me an e-mail about this, so I’ll come right out and say it for everyone: NO COVER TUNES! Well, if you have a 15-song full CD, a cover or two ain’t horrible. But if you’re just throwing a few songs on a tape or CD for me, I wanna hear what YOU have to say, not how you translate someone else’s stuff…

Yer pal,

:smiley: Thanks Satan! Take any of the lyrics with my blessing. I am very flattered that you think they are good enough to actually sing.
If anyone needs silly SDMB lyrics, I’d be happy to try and help write more of them. Just e-mail me with your song ideas.

Yes, I definitely want to talk more about it :slight_smile:

Send me some email:

pezpunk, I’d be willing to contribute material for something like that. I think it would be a lot of fun!