All Tricks, No Treats (October Mini-Rants)

This is day four of my gf’s quarantine after COVID-19 exposure and she remains asymptomatic.

During dinner last night (we ate in different rooms) she coughed at one point, but yelled, “just choking on food”.

Every time I’ve sneezed for the past 18 months, I’ve shouted “Sneezing isn’t a symptom!”

Glad to hear there are some kindred spirits out there.

I feel like I have to apologize if I clear my throat in public, and I live in an area where allergies are quite common. IMO, jumping immediately to “that person is a plague carrier and will kill everyone within two degrees of contact” is unreasonable. Allergies ARE still a thing, as are colds, asthma, reactions to air pollution, etc.

In the very early days of the pandemic, I remember waking up with a sore throat one morning and assuming I’d be dead in a week. I drank a glass of water and my throat was fine, but for it was a scare.

I listened to a podcast where someone wrote in about an experience at the allergy doctor. The allergy doctor told the writer that “Sneezing is never normal!” and I think about that all the time someone sneezes now.

Sneezing is never normal!

In other news, my 3 month old baby has daycare crud. We spent 6 hours in the ER last night to find out he had daycare crud (two viruses at the same time, actually). I feel stupid for taking him in but babies having fevers for 3 or more days makes you scared!

There are no chickens to be had in Belgium since almost two weeks ago, so I asked the cashier what was wrong. She answered: “The chicken are on strike!”. I guess she meant the abbatoirs or the processing plants or the distributors or whatever, but I hat to think of Lluís Llach’s song La gallineta (I am aware that nobody here will know a fifty years old song in Catalan about a hen going on laying strike with the refrain La gallina a dit que no, visca la relvolució! but never mind). Here are the lyrics, here an English translation, here a link to a performance.
BTW, if I were a hen, I would go on strike too, they lead miserable lives. But I am missing my weekly roast.
ETA: Per haps I should have posted this on the thread about first world problems, which is in itself a first world probelm.

( Only Kayaker could make “The Heimlich maneuver” sound hot…! )

This brightened my day. If I weren’t at 8 I’d post this in the “brightened my day” thread.

(Bonus points to whoever explains what “at 8” means)

I am so damn annoyed. I call the husband, “Hey, you guys coming home?”

He says, “Oh, yeah, but you should get ready. I might need you to come get me and overlygirl.”

“What? Why? I’m about to get on a bunch of parent-teacher conferences on zoom. What happened?”

“Oh, I forgot to fill gas. So I might run out on the way to a gas station. It’s pretty low. If you need to leave, you can just email them.” (Them meaning overlygirl’s teachers)

Okay, I know. People forget things all the damn time. But filling gas? My husband has a plug-in hybrid and it still screams at him when the tank is low. How the hell do you forget to fill your gas tank to the point where you don’t know if you’re going to get home? Then casually tell your wife, “Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that. I know you’re working. And meeting with teachers. And doing other shit. But, you know. Oops.”

Gah. Today has been a shitty, annoying day.

Yes in the same way that pain is never normal. Pain is your body saying that something is wrong. But if you stub your toe then feeling pain is normal.

If I am cooking and I use a particularly potent spice, it will make me sneeze. That’s normal. I suppose I could wear a respirator when cooking to prevent that, but I’d argue that doing so would be even less normal.

Smoker’s cough, too.

Actually, the line is “Sneezing is not normal. I never sneeze.”

I recommend this 4 minute video of John Green monologuing about it. It’s both very funny and deeply thoughtful.

Gah! That’s what I get for trying to retell a joke! I botched it! It’s still hilarious.

The baby is still sick. He has started spitting up more, which is making me more nervous so I made a doctor’s appointment. I feel both like I’m not doing enough and that I doing too much. Is my baby sick sick or just cold sick? I don’t know. Why does he still have a fever?

Have they blamed it on the Brexit? That seems to be the standard here.

In this case, it could be Chixit.

After Boris der Piffel has categorically denied that any of the problems the UK faces have anything whatsoever to do with Brexit methinks it would be most unfair if our problems were due to it. That would simply not be cricket.

For the first time in my nearly 40 years, I have a hairstyle that requires product to look its best. I’ve gotten the hang of hairsprays, but spray gels are still hit or miss for me, and mousse is a complete mystery. The packaging gives instructions that appear to be so simple, but apparently weren’t meant for my hair. I’ve even tried looking at videos on YouTube, but most of them seem to be “influencers” who just mumble things about the product while playing with their hair.

Also, my desk that I ordered almost 7 months ago finally arrived…and required assembly. No big deal, I thought. It took me nearly two hours of struggling to get the two pieces to lock in place, and my arms and legs are still sore and covered in bruises (one of the pieces kept slipping out of place and falling on me).

No, no, no! Your life is supposed to be less stressful as you get older.

Anything 'fussy" (like your hairdo) should be avoided… like pinch-y shoes or too-tight pants. Sure, it might look good, but how often do you look at yourself, anyhow?

Is it really necessary to chop up a on-demand movie with a minute-plus of ads every 5-10 minutes, AMC? I’m already paying for the cable service to watch it!

WTF shyster price settings? This was at my local Wal-Mart today:

GO-GURT (tubes of portable yogurt)

16-pack “Frozen II” branded:

24-pack “Spongebob” branded:

Guess which one I bought?