Your current first-world problems

I have bigger problems in my life, sure. But it’s getting annoying that I cannot get my favorite canned soft drinks in the last months. My favorite, Canada Dry Diet Cranberry Ginger Ale, in particular. I can often find it in the 2ltr bottle, but I prefer it in the can. (that’s what she said)
And now my second favorite, Fresca, is also getting hard to find.
I heard it has something to do with an aluminum can shortage.

Are you willing to pay $45.86 for 24 cans?

Sounds like something I’d definitely drink.

No, I am not

Im having much difficulty in fighting Lord Hades, the final boss of the game Hades.

There’s too much fresh food in the house.

A genuine first-world problem: A friend upgraded his home theater to 4K and gave me his high-end Sony 1080p 3D projector and 10-foot wide screen. But now I have to climb on ladders and poke around the ceiling with a stud finder to locate mounting positions for the screen and the projector ceiling mount, route cables all over the place, and install optical and HDMI switches. It’ll be well worth it, but man, it’s serious work for a retired old fart whose main specialty is sloth. Friends have suggested just hiring someone to do it all, but home theater installers are asking exorbitant sums based on fixed-price schemes, and I’m not made of money, so fuck that.

I’m sure I could write a book on this topic, but the first thing that comes to mind is that I’m attracted to my cleaning girl, so spend about 30 minutes cleaning my house the day before she comes. I don’t overdo it so that it’s not obvious, but definitely get rid of any potential toilet, sink or shower nastiness.

I can’t find Silk Protein Nut Milk anywhere.

(It is far-and-away the best ersatz milk on the market).

Maybe a handyman could do it cheaper

Probably, but I don’t personally know any and I don’t trust some random stranger to really do it right. I’m going to give it a go myself. As long as I properly locate the studs and everything is secured firmly, most of the rest is just simple grunt work (cabling, etc.).

Are you a gardener, getting ready to can your produce?

The worker shortage is everywhere. Although I’m retired, I still don’t like waiting all morning for dock attendants to get my boat fueled and the holding tanks pumped out. It’s wasting a lot of my time.

Also, I spent the last few weeks wandering around the midwest in my RV. Due to the same worker shortage, many parks no longer have guides to escort you to your campsite. I have to find my way myself.

It’s almost like the young’uns are no longer eager to serve us old retirees as we enjoy our leisure.

Durn whippersnappers.

I seem to have lost certain TV channels, on both my TV and PVR tuners. I suspect I’m going to have to get the building management to call out the company maintaining our communal TV aerial system

My recurring favorite is the stock market. Right now the Dow is down 3% and every investing channel and forum is screaming like it’s the end of the world. It’s still up 12% YTD and 20% YoY, so unless you started investing last month, there’s really nothing to complain about yet. That never stops anyone, though.

Those little single-serving orange juice bottles, sold in six-packs: They’ve totally disappeared from all the stores. I have sporadic occasions to buy orange juice that way, and now I can’t find it anywhere.

When you find a product you like, be sure to buy a lifetime supply while you still can.

Heh, our cleaning person is just some woman, but my gf insists that we do a light straightening up/cleaning before she comes because of reasons.

A gardener who also gets a weekly farm box and has a friend in an urban farming collective. I don’t can, but I dehydrate. Unfortunately, it’s too many vegetable to render easily.

I am 60 and only got a $1.07/hr raise this year. I was not happy.

Reminds me of a Steven Wright joke, though he took the opposite strategy as you:

I’m attracted to my dental hygienist, so before a checkup I eat an entire box of Oreo cookies so I get to spend more time with her.

My espresso machine is leaking out of the bottom.