Now let’s start a thread using only TV characters–no Dopers, movie characters, real persons (other than those appearing on TV under their own names).
As Dick Solomon gazed at the moon one night, from his perch on the roof of his home, he suddenly remembered that…
…he was supposed to meet Drew Carrey at the Copacabana at…
…a location Drew had given him. Solomon, however, with his usual alien stupidity foisted on him by The Big Giant Head, took the wrong part of Drew’s notice as the location and spent six hours waiting at the corner of Telephone and Telephone. When Dick didn’t show up at the copa, Drew decided to…
…walk on down to 1313 Mockingbird Lane. He knocked on the door…it opened…creeeeaaaaakkkkkk…and there was Herman Munster. Drew invited him to join him for a Buzz Beer at the Warsaw Tavern.
“Oh Lilly”, Herman said…
…and Lily appeared at the door. The sight of her made Drew’s heart do wild flip-flops and he blushed crimson, howled like a banshee, and promptly passed out. When he regained consciousness he saw, standing over him, Herman Munster, Lurch, Harry Solomon, Gilbert Gottfried, Judge Judy, and Regis Philbin. He concluded he must have gone…
…Into the Twilight Zone. His suspicions were deepened as he heard a man with a baritone voice and clipped words describe the adventure he was about to experience in a little town, not so far from here…
The man limped up and said, “I am ze Burger Meister Meister Burger. Der vil be no toys in Sombertown. Guards! Arrest zis Drew Carey, and his friend Kris Kringle, too!”
Drew and Kris ran as fast as they could. They saw a signpost up ahead. They were in Willoughby now, at the train station. They stopped, and a young boy was standing on the platform. He didn’t like the looks of Drew’s glasses, or Kris Kringle’s red coat, so he wished them both into the cornfield.
The two of them walked through the cornfield, and on the other side they saw a clearing. It was…
al roker, naked…
…on an operating table.
“Pass me the scalpel, Hot Lips” said Hawkeye. “And let’s close this up. I’m having a couple of your nurses over tonight, and my martini’s getting warm”.
Suddenly, Radar burst in and cried…
“These 2 FBI agents won’t go away”. Just then Mulder and Scully push past Radar and Mulder says “That is not a normal patient you are operating on, it’s…”
Alf. We have reason to believe that he may be an alien life form. We’ve been working on this case with…
…Gary Coleman, Emmanuel Lewis, Tattoo, and those two fidgets from Full House. They are all from the same planet, and have confirmed what we’ve suspected all along."
At that moment, Alf’s stitches popped, and out crawled…
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who pulled out a stake and started chasing…
Mr. T who fled, shrieking like a little girl back to the rest of the A*Team, who, to his horror, had decided to team up with…
…Ben Casey, Johnny Gage, Dr. Kildare, Trapper John M. D., and Dr. Julius Hibbert. After Dr. Hibbert quit his giggling fit, Johnny commented that, now that Drew and Kris had left the Twilight Zone in general, and the cornfield in particular (taking Billy Mumy’s character with them as they left), it would be vitally necessary for the three of them to…
…be started on an IV of D5W, stat, and then taken to Rampart General. Gage rode with them in the ambulance, led by a police escort of Jon and Ponch.
Meanwhile, back at the A*Team van, Mr. T continued to weep uncontrollably. Hannibal Smith took out his favorite .50 caliber weapon, “Baby”, and opened fire on Buffy, slicing her to ribbons.
Trapper John and Dr. Kildare laughed at this, and reminisced about the time they walked in and caught Marcus Welby…
dancing to the tunes of Ricky Ricardo’s Latin Band, in a shirt designed by Rhoda Morgenstern. But the truely funny part was that Dr. Welby’s partner was . . .
…Nurse Consuelo, who had made a few too many trips to the punchbowl that evening. She had also imprudently donned a strapless gown for the dance; and after a few lively dances, it wasn’t very long before she…
sleeping on the couch, discretely covered by Columbo’s trenchcoat. Columbo had arrived to investigate the murder of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Unfortunately, Ironsides had beaten him to it, taking Hannibal Smith and his whole team into custody with the help of the Bionic Man. Columbo quickly switched his investigation to trying to find out why Mulder and Scully . . .
… why mulder and sculley were doing the mambo to the music of Fiery Figrin’ Dan and the Cantina Band, whose leader was being held in the air by none other than…