…the Incredible Hulk, who really didn’t have to raise his arm very far to do this. All the same, Hulk heard, “Dom-da-dom dom,” and knew now he would have to deal with…
…Friday. Joe Friday. He carries a badge. It was a Saturday night, and he and his partner Bill Gannon were assigned to work the Bunko squad.
9PM. There was a report that Nurse Consuelo was operating a brothel from the back door of Dr. Welby’s office. It was a known hangout for transexual call girls.
“Just as I suspected”, said Friday, “Bea Arthur is here, and she’s with…”
Scooby Doo. It turns out that Velma and Daphne have been turning tricks with Fred as their pimp. Nothing like a little hot toon lesbian action for their favorite john, who was . . .
Mr. Humphries. He is perported to have stated, “My goodness, I seem to have ridden up with wear!” before passing out from shock. He was awakened by…
Flo loudly saying “Kiss my grits!” Mr. Humphries had no idea what she meant by that, but thought it sounded a bit unpleasant. Lookibng for help, he called out “Are you free?” whereupon Flo began to hit him repeatedly with a sack of quarters she’d saved from last nights tips. The ensuing racket . . .
was heard all the way down in Mayberry, R.F.D. Sarah quickly alerted Andy and Barney. They grabbed their…
…telephone and called Ace Rimmer, telling him that they had indeed smoked him a kipper in order that he may return for breakfast, following his misadventure with…
…a sticky television remote control. Seems Ace was up all night watching Velma and Daphne doing their own version of Shaggy in a Triple-X cartoon.
Barney slammed the phone down, satsified that he had indeed nipped it in the bud. He and Andy stepped outside, and who should they see driving down the street but…
Maxwell Smart and Agent 99. They were in search of an undercover KAOS agent.
Barney and Andy quickly offered to help. Suddenly, a shot rang out. Maxwell said “Missed me by that much”. Andy quickly ran over to where the shot had originated, and saw…
a one armed man, being chased by a horse ridden by Marshall Sam McCloud, on loan to the Mayberry Sheriff’s office.
The one armed man ducked into…
Edna’s Edibles. Mrs. Garrett was busy straightening out a fight between Jo and Blair. Maxwell Smart runs in and says “That’s not Tootie, that’s…”
Napoleon Solo, working undercover to discover the source of all bad TV–hense his presence in both Mayberry and Edna’s Edibles. Strangely enough, he was soon joined by Uncle Bill, who had finally snapped and thrown Mrs. Beasley into the lion’s cage at the zoo. He then left Buffy, Jodie and Sissy to there own devises and moved to Hawaii.
Meanwhile, back at the plot, Napoleon Solo took one look at Agent 99 then told Maxwell Smart to . . .
…go down to the lake with The One-Armed Man. The two rented a rowboat, where Maxwell Smart talked on his shoe while The One-Armed Man rowed around in circles all day.
Napolean Solo then grabbed Eddie Munster’s giant baseball bat, and knocked Marshall McCloud off his horse. He grabbed Agent 99, they both jumped on the horse, and rode off towards…
Cheers, where everybody knew their names, and where Sam Malone sweet-talked Agent 99 away from Napolean Solo. Then they…
got on a plane and headed for Chicago–Agent 99 wanted some ribs. Unfortunately, the landing gear of their plane failed to function–Diane’s revenge, thought Sam. They skidded into the runway and Sam was injured. Dr. Carter happened to be at the airport, but he was afraid Dr. Weaver would be angry if he administered medicine without her approval, so he stood by looking concerned. Dr. Shutt was called, but he was being a psychologist that day, and only asked Sam why he thought he dated so many women, and was he really happy? Finding no medical help in Chicago, Sam was eventually pronounced dead, and Dr. Quincy was brought in.
Meanwhile, back at the Copa, Mr. Ed had just asked Trigger to dance, but Flicka objected, saying his kind wasn’t welcome at that classy, upscale bar. So Mr. Ed . . .
…gave Wi–lll-bu-uu-u-r a swift kick, pitching him over the fence into the schoolyard with the Sweathogs, Wojo from Barney Miller, and Punky Brewster. However, with the passage of time Punky was no longer a little kid but rather a 16-year-old who looked like a 26-year-old woman whose clothing was way too small. Arnold Horshack, who had forgotten to button his fly after leaving the boys’ room a few minutes before,…
…screamed, “Oh Oh! Oh Oh Oh!” He wound up getting guest spots on the talk shows of Oprah Winfrey and Sally Jessy Raphaël, on the theme of male excitability during the teen years.
Rosie O’ Donnell, however, wasn’t taken in. She had Soleil Moon Frye on [i[her* show, and the two of them pointed out that…
…Regis and Kathie Lee were, in fact, robots - a science fair project by Bill Nye the Science Guy. Sadly, Bill was never able to make either of them function satisfactorily, so he left them in a prop room, where they were discovered during…
…an unsuccesful attempt by Dr. Zachary Smith to build a teleporter with which to return to Earth, without that clanking, clattering cacophony of cogs robot. His efforts were bootless, however, as all he succeeded in doing was teleporting himself on board the Galaxy, where he surprised Captain Video and Dr. Pauli trying to steer the ship using phoney painted-on instruments on the control panel.
This tampering with the time-space continuum had drastic effects, not least of which was a three-way Texas Cage Match between the two Darren Stephens, the two Gladys Kravitzes, and Dr. Bombay and Uncle Arthur.
Meanwhile, Race Bannon and Hadji, with the assistance of Cinnamon Carter and Rollin Hand, had broken the code which kept Dougal trapped on the Magic Roundabout. Unfortunately, this allowed Dr.Loveless, along with Egghead and The Bookworm, to escape to Danger Island, where Chongo said:…
… “I tawt I taw a puddy tat!!” Whereupon, Sylvester leapt out the window, pausing momentarily in mid-air to say “Yipe” before plummeting into a garbage truck driven by…