Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III, M. D., who had driven all the way to Crabapple Cove, ME, to see Hawkeye and “deliver your luxury limousine to you,” Chawles said. For his pains, Hawkeye made a suggestion to Chawles that was terse and unprintable. In any event, Chawles was goaded into a drag race with the Fonz, Starsky & Hutch, Aunt Bee Taylor, and Sally Solomon. Sally, though driving the plainest car–Dick’s battered old Rambler–scared the hell out of the others when she…
…jerked the wheel to the left, goaded by the Big Giant Head. The other competitors fortunately stopped short, however, and Ahmad Rashad told Sally that the video footage of her maneuver would be used on the next segment of Real TV.
Meanwhile, Det. Andy Sipowicz, Judge Judy, and bartender Moe Szyslak bawled Sally out until her cheeks turned crimson. Without Officer Don to support her, she knew she would be wise to contact…
. . . the USS Enterprise D, via her carefully concealed commbadge. She requested a security team, then revealed her true identity and purpose.
“Lt.Cmdr. Korkowan, Starfleet Intelligence. We suspect Romulan involvement. You, as Federation nationals, are officially charged with treason and aiding the Romulan Star Empire.” After the suspected criminals had been transferred to the brig, Korkowan summarized the planetside events for Captain Picard and went to her quarters to make a full report. As she entered, the deck under her feet jolted, throwing her off balance.
Up on the bridge, Data was saying, “Romulan D’deridex class Warbird, sir. Decloaked 5000 km off our starboard bow.”
“Hail them,” was Picard’s reply. A second later, the commander of the warbird appeared onscreen. The bridge crew gasped when they saw that it was . . .
… Lee Stetson, also known as Scarecrow. Behind him stood his beautiful wife, Amanda, and two other women who looked suspiciously like…
Jeannie and evil Jeannie. Evil Jeannie blinked her eyes and…
Thurston Howell appeared, saying "It’s good to get off that island. Come along, Lovey, we need to go visit,…
lucy and ricky
at their place in the country
maybe fred and ethyl will be there
Unfortunately, at that moment Gilligan tripped over the long train of Mrs. Howell’s evening gown. When he looked up, who did he see but…
But alas, Fred and Ethel were nowhere to be seen, only a black youth named Dwayne. After a few minutes listening to him exclaim “hey hey hey! What’s hapennin’, Raj? Uh-uh”, they caught the first bus into Des Moines, where they were accosted by a homeless man claiming to be the son of…
…of Tom Corbett. Eddie seemed disoriented and confused and was holding a scrap of what appeared to be an evening gown. Lucy and Ricky scurried away, leaving poor Eddie mumbling something about Mrs. Livingston. Just at that moment, The Black Beauty pulled up, and out stepped Green Hornet and Kato. Green Hornet asked Eddie, "did you just see…
…Maynard G. Krebs? He was walking down the street, muttering something about ‘Work!’. I swear, that guy looks just like Gilligan!"
At that moment, Dobie Gillis walked out of the Florist shop with a bouquet for Thalia. Zelda was right behind him, yelling…
“Watch out for that truck!!!”
But alas it was too late, he’d been cleaned up by a huge rig of a truck with BJ written on the side driven by a monkey. The guy in the passenger seat woke up and said “Geez Bear, what’d I tell you about hitting people even if they ARE carrying cheap carnations?!?”
Bear made monkey noises to try to point out that he’d actually tried to miss the moose that was walking down the road but alas couldn’t make himself understood.
Meanwhile the moose in question plodded by much to the surprise of…
1954: Marilyn Monroe married and divorced Joe DiMaggio, The Tasmanian Devil, a Cartoon Character later known as Taz, made its debut in 'Devil May Hare' by Warner Bros, Elvis Presley's first commercial recording session, "Lord of the Flies." Published…Angus Hudson, who wasn’t used to seeing alces alces strolling down Eaton Place. Hudson hurried along, knowing that Lord Blackadder didn’t like to be kept waiting. Just before he reached The Blackadder’s stately residence, Hudson was knocked over by Horace Rumpole who seemed in a desperate hurry to get to…
…a strange-looking blue telephone box out of which popped a curly-haired head with a long scarf. This strange figure bumbled around for awhile before running into hologram named Al calling a little girl Sam.
The strangely-postured Sam accepted a jelly baby and continued the conversation with her not-so-imaginery friend who felt moved to comment on the appearance of…
1957: Two "unarmed" nuclear bombs were dropped off Cape May, N.J., by a cargo plane that developed engine trouble. They were never found, Harry Belafonte recorded "The Banana Boat Song." , Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants move to LA and SF respectively, The musical "West Side Story" opened, America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit blew up on the launch pad, Dr. Seuss wrote "The Cat in the Hat" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." Humphrey Bogart died.Grandma Walton, who was dressed in a French maids outfit, complete with a little feather duster, with which she was rubbing Barney Fife’s naked ass. “My, Barney, what a hot man you are. Its a wonder Thelma Lou can keep her hands to herself.” To which Barney replied,
Then on the scene appeared Honey West, April Dancer, Napoleon Solo, and Ilya Kurakin to try and figure out what was going on. The Men and Girl of U.N.C.L.E. couldn’t agree amongst themselves, or with Ms. West and her ocelot, so they were forced to check in to Jim West and Artemus Gordon to see if they had ideas.
Sadly they too were clueless. But before they could buy a vowel, the camera panned to a cute red-head chanting a magic spell.
Yes, Willow was trying to bring Buffy back from the grave and it was “like, going, like rilly well” until at the crucial part of the incantation her concentration was interrupted by a voice that said “How YOU doin’?”
Sure enough, Joey Tribiani had happened by and spotted the “cute chick.” Dazzled by his beauty the fluttering Willow clung to her lesbian lover which set Joey back for a second, before he smiled broadly and started nodding: “how you TWO doin’?”
1958: A B-47 accidentally dropped an unarmed thermonuclear bomb at the mouth of Georgia's Savannah River - It was never found, Elvis inducted into the Army, Michael Jackson born, The first domestic passenger jet flight, Alaska becomes the 49th US state.Suddenly, the Charmed Ones came into view.
Prue, Piper, and Phoebe recited the incantation that would drive everyone back to where they belonged. To give further assist to Buffy’s return to Sunnydale, Prue did a massive arm sweep and telekinetically propelled the buxom blonde at Mach 5.
Buffy landed on Dracula, killing them both, which amused the sisters, as they moved into the number one slot over that peroxided ho.
But actually it was the OTHER peroxided ho, C.J. Parker from Baywatch, (Pam Andeson Lee) who landed on Dracula instead of Buffy, so Drac went out with a smile on his face.
While Sipowitz, Furillo, Barney Miller, Mannix, Columbo, Magnum, Rockford, McMillian and wife all argued about who had jurisdiction over the case, meanwhile…
But actually it was the OTHER peroxided ho, C.J. Parker from Baywatch, (Pam Andeson Lee) who landed on Dracula instead of Buffy, so Drac went out with a smile on his face.
While Sipowitz, Pembleton, Furillo, Barney Miller, Mannix, Columbo, Magnum, Rockford, Deputy Fife, McMillian and wife all argued about who had jurisdiction over the case, meanwhile…