Allright, Who hates CnoteChris

The BBQ Pit
21

I’m not sure what the last post was about, but regarding the OP:

As someone who is in a so-called clique on another board, I would have to say that it’s probably composed of people who have gotten to know each other in chat, on ICQ and also on the boards.

On the other board I am on, I’ve been there for 3 years, have almost all of the other long time members on ICQ, and have talked to most of them more times than I can count in chat. Does this seem a little clique-ish to newcomers? It might be. But it only makes sense that you talk about, and to, the people that you know the most. We’re not mean to newcomers, but it’s unlikely that we would tease them with the same familiarity as people that we know. Besides, so many people float in and out of the forum, that I don’t usually go out of my way to find out about someone until I know they are going to be around for a while. Why really get to know someone when they’re not going to stick around anyway?

I feel the same way here. Once I’ve been here for a while, and if I participate in chats, and get to know other members enough to have them on ICQ, then I’ll probably be mentioned too. In the meantime, no one really has any obligation to go out of their way to get to know me better. Look at the number of members here? Should everyone get to know every single member in depth, and make sure that they get plenty of mention? I don’t really think so.

22

I’m back to normal.

Sorry about that rage, but I get pissed when others try to screw with my system.

The anonomizer ISP? They crumble when you go at them with a complaint. They’ll freely give away info on people who use their site.

That, and a couple methods I won’t discuss, got the person banned. Sorry, fuck-for-brains.

Anyrate, back to my O.P., we’re a bit off topic. Remind me of what I’m arguing here.

23

Ummm, Chris, who are you talking to?

Back to the OP, I sometimes do wonder if people’s feelings are getting hurt. On the one hand, you’ll probably never meet 99% of these people, on the other, validation is always nice.

FWIW, I do always check those threads to see if I’ve been mentioned, but I very seldom reply. Not that I think that anybody is going to get upset that tatertot doesn’t lust after them or want to meet them, it just brings back too much baggage from jr. high. When I am mentioned, it’s usually somebody I’ve had outside of the board contact with. I suspect it’s the same for most people.

That’s an interesting point. I’d like to point out that some people don’t post everything they feel about the members of this board because they figure why stir up trouble? I’ll be honest with you, there are one or two members on this board that I’m not too fond of or I suspect that they are lying…yeah, I could call them on it, but why? They don’t live with me or work with me and I can leave this board at any time.

24

LolaGranola and others-

Someone, well, I now know now who the person is, was trying to access my computer. What their purpose was, I don’t know.

All I know is that they came in through a back door that I prevously thought had been closed. As far as I can tell, they got into my temp file and MS Word files. Kinda an odd thing to be after, but that’s what it shows.

I had couple of alerts that this was happening. I ran some tracking software and found the person that was initiating these probes. I forworded these messages and probes to my own ISP and theirs. Amazingly enough, they banned the guy and gave me some good-time apologies.

I feel kinda good.

Sorry to miss-direct this post, I got carried away.

25

Chris, I can explain it to you.

Its all about your board ‘Q’, like your IQ.

To get on these threads, you must follow certain rules:
1)Your user name must be gender specific. Chris, Green Been etc are NOT gender specific.
2) your user name must be very feminine, like Ultress, or BunnyGirl…or very manly, like Coldfire, or ChiefScott.
Names like Buelah, or homer (sorry buddy) dont conjure up sex fantasies.
3) you must post constantly - in MPSIMS.
4) DONT post a pic of yourself in the people pages.
5) flirt alot.

Its not a clique, not at all. In advertising, we call it T.O.M.A, or Top Of Mind Awareness. People remember what they see alot of.

Sigh, a long time ago, I used to post from work - constantly. I have a feminine name, nobody had seen my pic… I was on all the who do you want to… lists. I gotta tell ya - it felt damn good. There was inevitable backlash though, which felt really bad, and I stopped posting 20 times a day. The shine of my star wore off, and I was one of the crowd again.

The whole gender thing cant be underestimated. I used to flirt with SeaDiver in chat until I found out that SeaDiver was SHE!

If you want the whole popularity thing, go for it. Its not that much fun. And its alot of work. First you will have to give up your name and come up with something really catchy and attractive, then you will have to give up all outside activities while you post like mad to get the new name out there.

Why not just stick with who you are?

26

I have had my name mentioned numerous times on some of those threads, on others my name is nowhere to be found, on others still, I have no idea because I don’t take the time to even open the thread. It is nice to see my name mentioned by those I consider friends or by those whose opinion of me matters, but for the most part I really don’t give a shit. I just chalk it up to the insecurities and a need for love strokes by the OP.

No matter how much the clique is denied, it can’t be argued that it isn’t the same group of people who are listed over and over on these lists and that there isn’t a small group of posters who seem to have a different set of acceptance for those outside their circle. That some posts are judged more on the writer and not the content. I also don’t like the group-frenzy attack mode that sometimes happens when one of their own is flamed by an outsider.

I guess the definition of “clique” is selective.

I have friends from the board that I correspond with and have plans to meet one day. There are others I don’t talk with outside the board but respect by how they present themselves. I haven’t been to a group gathering, but I have plans to meet a few posters in Salt Lake City in November (are we still on guys? Byz, you in?), I really want to meet up with Tator and Coldfire (and others) when I go to Europe this spring, and one of these days I am going to hook up with Strainger for a hiking trip. If I want to go into chat, I will. No one is forcing me to be in a clique and from what I can tell, no one is preventing me from it either if I wanted to put forth the effort.

If being in this clique means so much to someone, they should make the effort to join. For me, the need to fit in stayed back in my junior high school. I would much rather be seen as an individual than part of “The Clique”. If someone backs me up or defends me on the board, I don’t want it to be someone protecting their own, but someone who believes I am making a valid point. If someone has a problem with me, then I want them to feel comfortable to bring it up without fear of taking on others.

I really like most of the posters who are part of the clique (okay, if the “clique” word offends - "thosesaidposterswhohavemetinreallifeandparticipateinchatandwhoseemtohavean"usvsthem"attitude), but there are the very few who just really grate on my nerves with their “my shit don’t stink” attitude, especially when they are less than impressive. I hate the fact that it is impossible to flame these few without fighting the entire pack, especially for those posters who are relatively new or have low post counts.

I’ve been around for a long time and am not intimidated by anyone here (okay, maybe Phil :D), but it just isn’t worth my time or effort to take on the entire group. I imagine that there are a lot of newer or more timid posters who have a lot to contribute but hold back for this same reason.

27

See, Diane is in alto of these threads, not because of a clique, but because she has a sexy feminine name, and a sassy sig line.

So, while Diane may have a point about alot of the same names appearing in these threads, her name appearing is not the result of sucking up to a clique.

28

Kelli-

Are you saying CnoteChris is a bad name? Condsidering it’s one that came out of knowwhere, I kinda like it.

By the way, are you single? Huh? Huh?

I dated a Kelli once. I made the mistake of breaking up with her on a lakside cruise. It was a spring party for a bar I used to work for, they held it on lake Minnetonnka.

I decided, rather stupidly, that I’d end it before we boarded. I spent three hours on the boat hearing abouut how much of an ass I was.

But you and I? Errhhh. Humma Humma.

29

Why someone as charming, handsome, and witty as myself is excluded from these lists is anyone’s guess. I couldn’t even make the “who don’t you want to meet” list. My feelings are so hurt because no-one notices me. It makes me want to crawl into a hole.

But seriously… who cares?

30

I mostly lurk, as I am still new here and trying to get the feel of things, with occasional posts.

I think the idea of a “clique” is bullshit. It comes up on every forum I have ever regularly participated in. In some cases, I was considered a member of the “clique.”

Let’s face it, on a forum with thousands of members, not that many people are going to stand out. Those that do are usually

  1. very active posters
  2. have a distinctive “cyber voice”
  3. regularly engage in discussion (and on this forum, intelligent discussion is what will get you noticed) and don’t do “hit and run” posts.
  4. have distinct well-thought-out opinions, and aren’t afraid to let anyone know it

If lurkers out there are afraid to voice their opinions because they’re afraid of getting flamed, that’s their problem. If someone’s ego is so delicate that it’s going to be crushed by someone on the net disagreeing with them or <gasp> flaming them, then that person should find a forum where everyone is a fucking nice-nice Mary Poppins. Newsflash: SDMB ain’t it.

If someone’s self-worth is tied to whether or not they are mentioned in a “My Favorite People of SDMB” thread, I’d suggest counseling.

That said, I certainly wouldn’t mind if at some point in the future I am mentioned in a thread called “Women of SDMB You Would Most Like to Go Down On for Two Hours or More.” :wink:

31

and Chris, maybe we Minnesotans just have to found our own clique if we want to socialize or meet some of the dopers. I haven’t been around the board for very long so I think I’ll just enjoy for a while and take in the surroundings.

I was one who was never included in the popular cliques in high school, but I later found out at high school reunions that maybe these people had originally been neighbors, or came to the high school from the same elementary school, and I was a latecomer they didn’t know. They never meant to be cruel. I think maybe the same could apply here.

32

Why does the word “clique” seem so offensive to some of you? What is your definition of the word “clique”?

Is there, or is there not a group of posters who have met IRL, spend a lot of time in chat, and pack together when flamed? There is nothing wrong with meeting in person, chatting, and making friends, but yes it does create a clique and it does alienate those who who don’t participate outside of regular posting.

I am willing to call it something else if you would be so kind as to put another definition to the above paragraph.

Again, if being in a clique were important to me, I would put forth the effort to be a part of it. It’s not important to me, if anything, I don’t want to be thought of as “cliquish”.

My only argument is to the continuous denial that one exists.

It does, and to say differently is flat out bullshit.

33

“The Clique” is being mentioned again? Cripes.

Sure, there’s a clique. It’s a pretty big freakin’ clique, though. And there’s a bunch of cliques within the clique. And cliques within the cliques within the clique. I mean, Democritus and Psykitty only sleep with each other…so I guess they could be a clique, just the two of 'em. And they’re pretty into Dopefests, especially SF Bay area gatherings. So then they’re a part of a slightly larger clique, made up of the people who live in that area. And they spend time in chat, which isn’t off-limits to anyone, but is mostly filled with people who are chat regs. So then Dem and Psy are part of an even larger clique…do you see where this is going?

Y’know what, though? I don’t think Dem and Psy think of themselves as being members of an exclusive clique. They just do what they do, and that’s that.

Here it is, Cnote. There are very few posters that are universally disliked (Serlin, Phaedrus, etc.), and those posters knew it. So…basically, if you’re not seeing your name pop up in thread titles all over the Pit, you can probably go ahead and assume that you’re well-liked.

34

Let me clarify what I meant.

I agree that there are groups of posters who consider people here friends, who chat with them elsewhere, who have delveoped a bond, who get together IRL. I think that great. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And I really don’t consider that a clique, since typically “clique” has a negative connotation.

To me a clique is an elitist group that deliberately excludes others. I don’t think that really exists here, though I can see how people get that impression.

So when I said “I think the idea of a ‘clique’ is bullshit,” I meant “I don’t think that there is a clique here, and even if there were, I don’t give a rat’s ass.”

Please, someone slap me around for being unclear. I know it’s a mortal sin, especially here. :smiley:

35

C’mon, now, who isn’t turned on by the image of a fat, bald, stupid yellow cartoon? I know I sure am.

And what, I don’t even rate a capital letter? Sheesh!

:smiley:

–Tim

36

CnoteChris I don’t hate you but don’t hate me for being handsome and popular ok?

37

No, actually there is a clique. And we hate you all! :smiley:

Christ, clique paranoia runs rampant even now… Sad, sad, sad.

If the clique you are reffering to is porcupine’s first definition, then yes, I think there are a lot of cliques. If you think there is a clique “that deliberately excludes others.” (Thanks, porcupine, for those definitions.) then you are sadly mistaken and should lay off the weed for a while. Frankly, I think you should come into chat a few times Chris, if you’re really feeling alienated. I hope some people like Silver_Fire and Hamadryad post in this thread. They could tell you better than I how there were no “acceptance issues” when they came into chat.

This board can be whatever you want it to be, Chris. It can be informational, social or a whole host of other things to different people. There seems to be some contradiction in the feelings you are posting here. You seem to be bitter about not being included in the “popularity threads” and yet claim indifference. Which one is it?

38

Ok, I’m pretty damn new here, but what the hell. If this is a serious Q at all (which I doubt), then I’ll throw out my opinion.

Everytime you get large groups of people together, people naturally develop sub-groups. This applies in social circles, in politics, as well as in business.

Within these sub-groups certain people will begin to dominate the groups for whatever reason. They become leaders or organizers or whatever.

In poly-sci, this is termed the “iron rule of oligopoly.” It seems to be human nature to categorize people into groups. Thus, we create work friends, old college buds, close friends, et cetera. These are all cliques.

OK, so much for the quasi-intellectual BS. Who cares if people have their own groups of friends. I think it’s kind of cool that people have developed friendships over time in a site that seems to promote rhetoric and challenging thoughts. How can you get upset that people have friends on the board? To me, it seems just like having college buds and work friends.

39

Well said!

And Homer, I think you’re sexy, and I even gave you a capitol H.

40

I’ve always dreamed of being an alpha male in a sub-group.