Almost Famous People

  1. If you can extract something valuable from it, I invented it.
  1. I play versatile cultural roles, primarily for the horses and pigs.
  1. I am a friend to post-impressionists everywhere.
  2. I should wear a Bill the Cat shirt when I golf.
  3. Don’t know why I built that huge boat.
  1. I am an overeater who never tells a lie: Gorge Washington

  2. I am a nonchalant wagerer: Blase Pascal

  3. I am a highly caffeinated genius: Alert Einstein

  4. I am a fan of 6 packs and 5 spots: Ab Lincoln

  5. I am a damp scion of Hollywood royalty: Dew Barrymore

6. I prove sharks can be excellent at standardized tests.

  1. I am a startled German composer: JS Ach!

8. I am a skier with my own mountain.

  1. I’m a cowboy whose career is on the decline: John Wane

  2. I switched transit modes once my Drive ended: Ran Gosling

  3. You could have served me in the summer of 1969 with raisins: Bran Adams

  4. You may have seen me in the movies or at Caesars: Jack Palace

  5. When I tell people that I was voted the sexiest man alive, they think I’m crazy: George Looney

  6. You might find me beautiful if I cover my bald spot: Kristen Wig

15. I’ll be there for you, and I’m really, really strong.

16. My rap music may be a bit on the dark side.

  1. I’m a rapper but I should sing a Thompson Twins song: Dr. Dr

  2. I love to collect too many things, especially controversy: Hoard Stern

19. I was a great tennis player until that dramatic explosion.

  1. My fried chicken is really made from rubber duckie: Ernie Sanders

  2. I really really really really really really really love glam rock: Avid Bowie

  3. I bring art to the conjunction junction: And Warhol

23. I’m awfully good looking, especially when I glow in the dark.

  1. I might trade my shield for some places down by the river: Chris Vans

25. My capris always have a spot on them.

  1. I’ve starred in lots of movies, ironically never as an astronaut, but what most people don’t know is that I can run real fast: Kevin Pacey

  2. I hate them damn rebels… Hate them. Hate them. HATE THEM. SO MUCH!: Ulysses Rant

28. I’m quite diminutive, but I am still at this location, over there, and everywhere.

29. We’ll get you to the other side, but unconventionally.

30. If you can extract something valuable from it, I invented it.

31. I play versatile cultural roles, primarily for the horses and pigs.

32. I am a friend to post-impressionists everywhere.

33. I should wear a Bill the Cat shirt when I golf.

34. Don’t know why I built that huge boat.

I think I’ve bolded the unsolved ones and put the answers to the correctly guessed ones. Apologies for any errors.

Al Ore?

Bingo.

  1. My pretty blue eyes water if I sniff myself.
  1. When it comes to diamonds, I always blow out the competition.

Rank Sinatra…good god.

  1. I’m known for dancing privately, but my moves are often recycled.

Tin Turner?

16. My rap music may be a bit on the dark side.

Will Sith!

HA!

  1. I should star in “Cardigans for Communists.”

Noah Jones!

  1. I am a friend to post-impressionists everywhere. - Pal Gauguin
  1. Taking an undefeated all the way to the championship makes me want to dance around in a grass skirt.

  2. Appropriately, singing “Black Dog” makes me hot and tired.

  3. I like to shake off, shake off all the impurities in my flour.

  1. I like to shake off, shake off all the impurities in my flour. - Taylor Sift
  1. Taking an undefeated all the way to the championship makes me want to dance around in a grass skirt. - Don Hula

There were two correct answers. I would have accepted Pal Cezanne as well. (In fact, Cezanne was the one I originally thought of.)

Robert Pant.