Due to lack of time, patience, and motivation I really wasn’t getting anywhere with my backyard landscaping. Then, I did something that has sped up the process by leaps and bounds. With a mighty heave, I lifted my black, ball-point pen, and wrote a check out to a professional landscaper. Soon my hard work will be complete, when with another stroke of the pen I write a check for the second half of the landscaping cost. Frankly, I am completely exhausted right now. I really need my shoulders massaged; this mighty pen-lifting has created much tension in my deltoids.
You paid BEFORE they did the work? Hmmmmmm. I do that work, buts its a lot of labor as you know. We have our special tricks used to pad things so we get more money 
Umm handy, he only paid half…
As for the massage, I could give you one.
Sounds great, techy! While you’re at it, would you stand on this one spot on my upper back just to the left of my spine? Maybe hit it with a sledgehammer or run over it with my pick-up? It is just killing me lately.
But of course, just remember I am not exactly petite anymore…still a size six but I carry a 135-140 pounds these days. Can you handle that?
Oh and I just picked up some Ylang Ylang massage oil today it’s a very soft and clean fragrance.
< sigh > he’s lives just outside of freakin Phoenix, damn, damn, damn! Let’s see that’s a 13 hour drive from here. See you in a bit. 
< techie gives outstanding massages, yesh she does! >