I am one of the few people on earth who can take a straight piece of pipe, and through arcane rituals and something called a brake-press, convert it into a pipe which contains a curve.
And not just one curve. Yes, after the first curve is applied, I can continue on and make other curves. I could go on about this for hours. Really, I can. And I will. You see, as one of the few pipe curvers on the face of the earth, I have many enemies, enemies who wish to learn the secret of the brake-press and the arcane rituals that give me my power. But I do not give such tokens lightly.
Recently a so called coworker offered me a 1972 AMC Javelin for an opportunity to have a shot at applying a single curve to a chromium-steel pipe. “Young fool” I told him, “The 308 in that sumbitch has worn out valves and would need a new cam. Plus I only listen to sparkomatic stereos. You come back to the Curvester when you have stomething to talk about.”
Later we were showering each other off in the group shower, when I realized he had something of a curved pipe of his own. Our eyes met, and he looked down at me, and then our eyes met again and I took one step closer… Wait, I don’t want to tell that one. I don’t remember eating his ham!
So the next day he tells my boss, that total bitch Mr Stevens, that I turned down an offer of a 72 Javelin with big ass Mickey Thompsons on the year and twenty pounds worth the hamburger meat.
“20 pounds with the hamburger meat?” Stevens said, “Is your ass crazy? You go teach him how to curve that pipe”
“He aint got no hamburger meat and those aint Mickey Thompson slicks, they’re just got damn bahld tires.” I says to him.
And they docked me two hours pay. Christ I get so mad. I recently bolted two old Vespas together to make a kind of car and I have to pay that off or else I’d walk OFF THE JOB, Right now. There’s a huge demand for people who can work with high technology like wheels, or make pipes that are straight curvy, and that’s just what I am going to do.