Pipelayers jokes and saying ...you got any?

Pipelayers jokes …whatcha Got?

I got that you’re in the wrong forum. I’ll let the GQ mods know so they can move it.

Righty-tighty. Lefty-loosey

Moved to IMHO from General Questions.

samclem, moderator.

I was a licensed plumber and most of their jokes were so scatological as to be… well unsuitable for this board.

Plumbers know how to lay a straight pipe, might not be SFW, probably has a very similar construction among Pipelayers. As Pipelayers mostly lay sewerpipe, it would be amazing if things scatological would be absent for their conversations.


Steve Martinplumber joke.

Sure. Heard in 1964.

Three pipelayers talking about the sexiest woman alive.

First pipelayer–“Gina Lollobridgida.”
Second pipelayer–Sophia Loren, for sure."
Third pipelayer-“Virginia Pipilini.”

“Who’s she and why is she sexy?” asks the first two.

Third shows them the newspaper which has headline “200 men lay Virginia Pipeline.”

Hey! I didn’t say it was good. How many pipelayer jokes can there be?

What do pipe layers and walruses have in common?

The both love a good, tight seal.

What do you need to know to be a plumber?

How to make the shit run downhill.

Why are pipeplayers always marching somewhere?

They’re trying to get away from the noise.

ETA: ah, misread title - never mind, I’ll let it stand!

That joke is my single best memory of my ex-brother-in-law!

Got a pipeliner (not -layer) joke, but I have to explain a little first.

I worked on a semi-submersible laying large pipelines on the ocean floor (large, as in you could walk through them). The pipes were made in 40 foot lengths, each referred as a “joint” of pipe. Each length had a concrete layer around it except for the ends. After welding, the uncovered section had to be coated with a layer of asphalt called “dope” by the deckhands.

So the joke: “You’ll love working here… the joints are 40 feet long, and the dope comes in 55 gallon drums.”

Maybe you had to be there. :rolleyes:

Nah, I got it. Found a can of plumbing dope once (in some random location where you wouldn’t expect to find a can of plumbing dope) and the instructions on the side were the funniest unintentional stoner/plumber double entendres I’d ever seen.

That needed to be part of a Cheech and Chong routine. :stuck_out_tongue:

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt on the old Brown & Root Barge 347. As a young Marine Surveyor from the Pacific Northwest complete with long hair and beard, an assignment to the 347 was a trip. Tower hands said “Whoa man, when Kenny Ward (Barge Super.) lays eyes on you, he gon’ run you off, no shit”. Somehow, most likely due to some slick night-time barge positioning, I got in that ol’ Mississippi redneck’s good graces, so forever after when survey crews were assembled he’d say “I want that Hippie on my barge”. Such was life in the Oil Patch.

Just don’t ask me to come down there.

This how it went in these parts:

“What do you need to know to be a Plumber?”

“Shit goes down hill, cold is on the right, hot is on the left and payday is on Friday.”

On occasion you might hear “flows” instead of “goes”. You might hear the order of hot and cold reversed, but the payday part is always on the end. Well, anyway in this small patch of Northern Indiana.

Zuer-coli [Indiana licensed Plumbing Contractor, not that means anything other than I passed the test.]


Here are some starting points:

Short pieces of pipe are known as “Nipples”.

Threaded fittings [used to change direction or provide a branch] almost always have at least one “Female” opening.

The action of threading a nipple into a fitting is sometimes referred to as “screwing”.

With management as well as with pipelaying:
Shit flows downhill – unless there’s enough pressure.

(Why, yes, I went to college to learn that.)