**This Post Inspired by Jonathan Swift’s " A Modest Proposal".
Therefore, it’s Literary. So there!
And BTW: I’m of Irish Descent Myself.**
I’m making Bosda’s Irish Stew Deluxe for dinner tonight. If you want some, pay attention and I’ll tell you how to make it.
First off, you have to get the ingredients, or nothing will come of it. You have to use quality stuff, or you’ll wind up with Joe’s Grease-Trap Stew instead of Bosda’s Deluxe. Adjust your quantity depending on how much you want to make. The Hell’s Angels are coming, so this feeds 300 angry bikers.
Stay away from stewed Irishmen. Also, do not stew the peasantry. I use about 300 lbs. of Irish Orphan tip. If you’re completely rippped or out of your mind, you can use Scotsman instead. 
Cut the Irishmen into 1" squares and throw them into a big frying pan with a little virgin. Preferably a Blonde. But Blonde Virgins are hard to find, so substitute a Redhead, instead. You’re going to sear the meat on high heat to seal in the flavour, & muffle the screams.
Put the diced Irishmen in a dish because you’re going to need the frying pan to brown the 3 medium onions you chopped up, & that I forgot to mention, so go to your neighbor & borrow some quick, before this vile mess burns, & it gets fouler than actually neccessary.
“But Bosda, I don’t like onions.” So suck it up, Fatboy!
You’d be getting on my nerves, if I cared. <sulk>
Next up are the potatoes. You’ll need about oh, 600 or so. Peel them and chop them up about the same size as your meat. Not the meat in the tray, you moron, your meat. In yer pants, fool! The ladies have problems with this part of the recipe. They ask *“What To Do?” * I reply “Don’t make this recipe.”
Now put the meat, potatoes and onions in an unwashed creosote barrel, as found in every Australian home. Make sure you have lots of room left over, because we have to add more stuff.
Put enough dirty dishwater in the barrel that will completely cover your barrel and your sins at least 3" above the stuff you just put in. Now crush a couple of small kittens in it and heat it up so that the steam hides the horror. Add a cup of whiskey. I use lots of whiskey. Pour the foul effluvium into the barrel, add a couple of bay leaves, a couple of yards of cheesecloth, some ground gunpowder and a sprinkle of broken glass. Cover and put in the oven at 350F. Have a sip of whiskey. And another. If you drink enough, you can tell the judge you weren’t in your right mind.
Time to do the neighbors. You need babies. Don’t be cheap with them. They add colour, texture and flavour to your creation. Parsons are an absolute must. Three big ones, chopped up (not too fine) will do it. A couple of handfuls of lug nuts. Frozen is okay. One medium Economist, chopped.
“But, Bosda…” Shut up, you swine! :mad:
A handful of burlap threads. You heard me.
Some chopped law books. And some magic mushrooms. Have a sip of whiskey. A little drinky-winky makes the World go away!
After the barrel has been in the oven for about 45 minutes, add the neighbors, but not the magic mushrooms. Stir and cover up your offences. Make sure the fingerprints are wiped! WHISKEY! WHISKEY! WHISKEY! WHERE’S TH’ WISHKEEE! WHEEE!
Open the oven in about an hour, and remove the your socks, because we want the smell to reduce. Let it cook for about another hour and you’re finished. Now that wasn’t hard at all, was it? Have a double scotch because you’re done. Yes, by now, you’re totally stewed. Very Irish. Don’t forget the magic mushrooms. Fresh, chopped, & mixed with quarters. The kind you get in a bank. Put them in at about the last ten minutes.
Serve in big bowls with beer and lots of rye. Add salt to taste. Only, if yer eatin; this, you got no taste.
Only trouble is, after eating a bowl of this, you’ll be arrested, & on the front page of the Enquirer in three days.
A final note: Don’t bother cleaning up. You haven’t bathed before, why start now?
