Since there is Irish blood in my family here goes the stereotypical joke:
Two Irishman are drinking in a bar. One gets a little melancholy and one says to the other, “I want you to make me a promise. When I die, I want you to get the best bottle of Irish whiskey you can afford and soak my grave with it, and maybe some will seep on down and I can have a taste in the afterlife.” His friend agrees, and a few years later when his buddy dies he intends to fulfill his promise, and he gets a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and goes out to the grave site. He opens it and is about to pour it out but he is having a hard time doing it, this is really good whiskey. So he thinks about it, and he says to his dead friend, “I know I promised to soak your grave with this whiskey, but do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?”
The history of the joke. I heard the punch line only on an epidose of Mad Men, Peter Campbell telling it. Ya know the thing they do in movies sometimes when you only hear the punch line. So I reconstructed the joke. Here is the original version, I think mine is better. It will kill at parties.
Wow. My good friend on Facebook posted that today. I unfollowed him. I wrote, “That’s it, man, I am unfollowing you. Your incessant posts of commie propaganda are bad enough but this is too much.”
He posts a lot of anti-Trump things, which I agree with.
Horror author Graham Masterton (who’s Irish) often posts “Terrible Old Irish Jokes” on his Facebook page. This one’s the latest:
The religious instruction teacher asked the class: ‘Where do you think that Jesus is now?’
Billy put up his hand and said, ‘In our toilet, miss!’
‘What on earth makes you think that, Billy?’ asked the teacher.
‘Well, every morning my Da knocks on the toilet door and shouts out, “Jesus, are you still in there?”’
It’s that it’s pretending the recipient of the joke is claiming that the bit about Irishmen going into a bar is unlikely, a little bit of absurdism. It’s like saying “Pretend President Trump tweeted something ridiculous… hey it could happen!”
Shortly after putting out an oil fire on a rig in the North Sea Red Adair was having a drink at a hotel bar in London. Just then an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into the bar. The Englishman spots Adair right away tells the other two that he thinks it’s Red Adair. They scoff, but he decides to show them and walks right over to the bar, and asks “Pardon me, are you Red Adair?” Adair answers “I shore am!”. The Englishman says “Well that was a jolly good show putting out that oil rig fire, let me buy you a drink.” Adair says “Nonsense, you guys just paid me a few miilion of your pounds to put that fire out, let me buy you a drink!”. Well the Englishman had no problem with that. The Scotsman sees this and thinks he’ll try it out himself. Pretty much the same, he asks Red if it’s him, Red answers “I shore am!”, the Scotsman says he’s impressed at the way he put out that fire and Red ends up buying him a drink. Well the Irishman wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity for a free drink. He goes up to Red and asks “Wouldja be Red Adair now?”. Adair says “I shore am”, then the Irishman asks him “Tell me now, do you still dance with Ginger Rogers?”
