ALW and Joel Schumacher are you out of your fucking gourds?

The BBQ Pit
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I’ve recently discovered that they are FINALLY going to make Phantom of the Opera into a movie. And, thanks to imdb.com, I’ve discovered that Joel Schumacher is now set to direct the film.

AND THE FUCKWITS DON’T WANT MICHAEL CRAWFORD PLAYING PHANTOM!!!

Are they completely insane? The avid audience of Phantom has only been waiting 13 fucking years to see the one true Phantom on celluloid, preserved for all posterity. There is no one who can perform that role remotely like Michael Crawford did, certainly not some of the names they’ve tossed around. Antonio Banderas? John Travolta? What crack are they smoking? Oh wait, no… they don’t want either of the above, as they are apparently to OLD to play an UGLY man in a MASK, who, according to the book, is not remotely young. Yeah, great you fuckwits. Ruin the damn film.

I honestly don’t care what Hollywood pretty boy they want to cast as Raoul, if he call pull off “All I Ask Of You” decently well, that’s fine with me. But to ruin the entire film by not casting the real Phantom… well, if they’re throwing money away like that, I wish they’d give me some.

Jeez Andrew Lloyd Webber… losing touch in your old age? You have an established audience who have patiently (and not so patiently) waited over a decade for MICHAEL CRAWFORD to play Phantom in the movie… and you want someone else to do it? And the director of Batman to direct the whole thing?

Scrap it all! Throw out any work you’ve done, boot Joel Schumacher, hire Rob Marshall, and sign Michael Crawford… before you completely fuck up the potentially biggest film ever to be made of your musicals.

You’ve allowed some really stupid shows to be made from your music before (Aspects of Love, anyone) but no one will remember it if you get the Phantom movie right, and there’s only one way to do that. His name is MICHAEL CRAWFORD.

Andrew, Joel… you two are fuckwits.

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You might be interested in this discussion.

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Finally? One true phantom?
Lon Chaney pretty much covered it in 1925;)

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Waverly: the context is different. If we were talking a straight horror film, Lon Chaney was all over that role (in addition to being an amazing makeup artist, that man was one HELL of an actor!)

But in this case, we’re talking about a different beast, the musical version. Now you need a phantom who can perform to his utmost within the context of the already-written musical. That man is Michael Crawford. (and since DotV flopped, he should be ahem contractually availible!)

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C’mon, if you really think Michael Crawford is the most talented man on the planet, the best possible person for this job, then you need to get out more. Or maybe stay in more, and catch up on your movies.

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May I recommend The Ring? Great movie. Way scarier then PotO, and without all that annoying singing.

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So I take it you didn’t like the Robert Englund version from 1989?

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Michael Crawford would have been great…10 years ago. He has gotten too old and too flabby. He embaressed himself in “Dance of the Vampires” so bad it was painful. Great career move, Michael. It’s going to take five years for your reputation and image to recover.

Also, there has never been a full English recording of POTO except the OLC. I would like to hear someone else do it (but please, not Colm Wilkerson).

If they do use Crawford, he better go on a diet, got a damn good corset, and the camera crew will need some extra-strong filters (or maybe they can just use Vaseline).

Personally, I doubt the POTO movie will be made before Crawford is dead. And ALW is only 55. Hardly “old age” considering what he has done in his life.

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Zebra, in the other thread about this, called Crawford “the William Shatner of Broadway.” I think that’s one of the smartest comparisons I’ve ever heard, and I agree wholeheartedly.

And yet, in thinking about that further, would you want to get anyone else to play Captain Kirk? Even with frizzy hair and a bit of a gut, I can’t imagine anyone else yelling “KAHHHHHNNN!” in Star Trek II.

Crawford is over-the-hill, but he did sort of define the Phantom in his Broadway role. I’m sure someone else could play it, possibly better than Crawford, but it would be a very different feeling, I think. Most fans of the Broadway show would likely be disappointed.

And Max, I loved the Englund version. Just call it “Freddy of the Opera”! :smiley:

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There’s an important question that I think everyone is overlooking:

Will the Phantom’s mask have nipples on it?

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Gary Oldman as the Phantom… 'nuff said.

Joel Schumacher needs to stop making movies in general… Maybe he should direct cartoons. Bad cartoons. That nobody will watch. Put them on the FX channel or something.