I dont know how anyone can go from starting an OP about if they are a loser or not to talking about a plain girl with a “great rack”
Thumbs and fingers, ladies and gentlemen, Pinches of salt.
Ya know, Lizzy starts a “boo-hoo, I’m feeling sorry for myself” thread IN THE PIT of all places, and most of you respond with, “oh, things will get better, you’ll see.”
You people have lost your edge. You ought to be ashamed.
Oh, and Lizzy? Please take your whiny ass over to MPSIPS where you belong.
I totally agree. Humor should advance to new levels, but not leave behind the stuff that works.
I didn’t say there was anything wrong with potty humor, guys.
I just would expect better from a person with six years of college.
Unless those six years were spent in remedial potty training, of course.
Okay, some people are just not getting the idea here. This thread is TONGUE IN CHEEK, people.
I am NOT feeling the least bit sorry for myself. I just realized all the stuff in the OP the other day and wondered what the casual observer might think. I knew SOMEONE would flame me no matter where I put it, so I just put it in the Pit right off the bat.
Capishe?
Don’t try to speak Italian when you don’t know how, shithead.
So far, you’ve failed to convince us all with your so-called Satire, and now you have again failed to make sure we all know you’re being Tongue In Cheek.
Does the idea that you REALLY are a loser strike you as odd?
In any case, your grasp on the English language does not seem good enough to use the finer subtleties of it. So you might as well skip these exercises, and restrict yourself to simple, first-person, present tense, sentences.
You know, like this: "I am drainthelizard. I think I can outsmart you all. But I really can’t. Cause I’m a loser. Currently, no tongue is in my cheek."
i feel sorry for myself…do you all relate?
(shit they don’t, what do I do)
ha ha, you’re all stupid, you didn’t get my joke, I’m actually a well adjusted cool guy.
[cough]bullshit[/cough]
Ponch, you bastard, I bust a gut laughing at how simply straightforward you described drainy…I should flame your ass, but I’m laughing too hard right now.
punch: I disagree. If he were actually going for sympathy, he would’ve posted in MPSIMS. No, this is definitely an attempt to get some kind of response.
I’m with Clodmire on this one, troll all the way.
now, nobody would post in the pit…look…ing… to…flame…themselves…mmmmmm…for…attent…
oops, nevermind.
Well, jeezum crow, now I am really ticked. I’ve waded through this entire dickwad thread, feeling sorry for the poor mope going by the moniker DraintheLizard, thinking about posting a response to LouisB that goes something like, “Hey, I’ve been out of college for 20 years and I have a silly nick”, but then I get to the part where DTL shyly confesses that he’s been pulling our leg all along, aren’t we the big saps for falling for the sob story (again)?
Icky poo on you, you synonym for urination. I only came over here 'cause of your “Fuck you, Coldfire” thread, curious to see what all the fuss was about, seeing as how it’s an American tradition to root for the underdog.
Coldy, sic 'em, boy! Sic 'em!
And Drain? The answer to your OP, IMHO, is “yes”. You need to learn satire does NOT come across on a MB without a long acquaintance, where you can get a sense of where a poster is coming from, and you need to figure out exactly what you want from us. Do you want us to laugh at your jokes, or are you just here to laugh at us, for naively pulling the finger every time? If you keep jerking our chains like this, eventually we WILL learn not to believe a word you say, and then when you get fired from your job on the same day your house burns down and your mom is diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and your dog is run over by a car, and you want some strokes over in MPSIMS, we’re just gonna laugh our asses off. “Oh, that Drainy, he’s such a card!”
Forget what I said earlier. You’re a loser.
No Goose, I didn’t set out to jerk anyone’s chain. I wasn’t trying to make a fool of anyone, nor was I going for laughs. I’m not laughing at anyone on here, either. (Well, maybe oldscratch) Maybe this thread SHOULD have gone on MPSIMS. It was certainly a mindless thought. I was just sitting and thinking one day when all the info on the OP ocurred to me at once, and I thought “hey, I’ll bet if I just described all this to someone they would say ‘that guy must be a total loser!’” So I put it on here to see. I was actually somewhat touched by the warm responses. There’s some real nice people on here. No kidding.
And my dog has already been run over by a car. For real.
Really? Was Hitler driving the car?
ahahahaahhahahahahahaha!!!
Holy shit!!! All my lab partners are looking at me like I am insane.
Mouthbreather, you are one funny mother fucker!!!
So the OP was a joke? That’s some sense of humor you got there. Lemme se if I got it right . . . faking being a Jew and having fake relatives killed by Hitler is satire. Lying about your life is funny. Here’s some sarcasm for you: we like little annoying people (and I use the term loosely) who post to get a rise out of others. Really, we do. Just ask Jebus and Zarathustra, the latter of whom admitted to posting for that purpose.
Dtl, it’s not funny to lie to get pity or friends.
And lastly, give us one good reason we should ever believe another word you ever say to us. Thus far you’ve disguised lies as satire and joking. Neither was such, nor was it funny.
Get a life, seriously. Please. We’ll take up a collection (that’s a joke. None of us would pay).
Two words that helped me out of a college doldrums jam:
Responsibility: You must realize that you ultimately are either the source of, or are mostly responsible for, your problems. Knowing this and realizing this is good, because then you stop destructive behavior, start constructive behavior, and plan a path towards success (and NO, I didn’t read this somewhere).
Pride: You have to have pride in yourself. To know that you have problems, but you’re working on a solution. If you accomplish something, praise yourself inside for your success. If you fail, take responsibility, and learn from the failure. Record failures and successes both in a book, which you carry with you. Review this book - it will teach you humility, and be a reminder of what TO do, and what NOT to do.
And another suggestion:
If what you are doing is not working, try something different! Take a philosophy class. Start a completely new hobby. Read books by people you’d never even considered reading. Close you eyes, grab your school course listing, and pick a random liberal arts course to take in anything, and take it.
These, and other things, worked for me.
mouthbreather, you have just earned a free Guinness, to be cashed at the next (and first) time we meet! Superb 
After reading your pathetic rant against Coldfire, I retract my earlier post. You are worse than a loser. You are a slimey slug. Actually, calling you a slimey slug is too good for the likes of you. I see by your original post that you live at home withyour mommy and daddy. They must be REAL PROUD to have a turd for a son. And I can see why you haven’t kissed a girl in however the fuck long it’s been. Who wants to kiss a turd?