Am I a sick bastard?

Great Debates
1

My girlfriend and I had a conversation last night. She described a cartoon picture she had seen on the Internet with an imaginary female in an uncomfortable (and unlikely) sexual position – one which, in real life, would be disturbing, if not appalling. She said that anyone who could derive any pleasure from such a picture was sick and wrong. This is where I opened my big mouth.

I don’t know how other people are, but I recognize a distinct line between fantasy and reality. Heck, I pretty much always know when I’m dreaming. I suppose I have a normal set of self-delusions or what have you, but for the most part I feel I have a fair grip on reality. I am not the kind of person who is going to watch Reservoir Dogs then go out and chop someone’s ear off.

I explained to my girlfriend that there are situations that, in real life, appall and sicken me. I can barely watch the news because it is so depressing. I hate hearing about people getting hurt – in real life. In fiction or fantasy, I can take, and at times enjoy, the worst of the worst.

I have read a few works by the Marquis de Sade. Sade wrote some very disturbing stuff, dealing with incest, pedophilia, torture and rape. Sade may have been a sick individual, a sexual deviant who had no right to live free in society. (His contemporaries seemed to think so as he spent most of his adult life in prison and most of his work was destroyed). Does it then make me a sick individual if I enjoy his work? If I gain pleasure from reading about an act that, in real life, would sicken and appall me, am I a deviant?

I draw no distinction between sexual matters and violence when it comes to this. I know many people who will watch and enjoy an action or horror movie and get a thrill from the violence. Yet, on the other hand, if they see a bloody nose or broken finger in real life, they cringe. Is it that much different, that much worse, for someone to enjoy deviant and possibly disturbing sexuality in fiction and fantasy?

My girlfriend seems to think it is. She says that she can’t imagine enjoying anything in fantasy that she wouldn’t enjoy in real life. She was quite horrified to learn this side of me, as small and insignificant as I consider it.

What are your feelings on this? Does anyone else have fantasies that they would never live out, even if given the chance? Does anyone else read and enjoy fiction that, if it were a news report, would horrify you?

I ask you, honored members of the SDMB… am I a sick bastard?

2

There are lots of people who like going to see “slasher” movies. Such films disgust me, but I believe that they serve some kind of purpose for the people who enjoy them. Perhaps it has to do with externalizing fears so that they can be dealt with in some way.

In a similar way, I enjoy riding on roller coasters – even though I’m not keen on heights. It’s a simulated threat to life and limb, and being so close to the peril gets the adrenaline pumping.

Of course, in the audience at a horror flick it’s possible one of them is thinking, “Hey, I’d really like to do that!” Does that mean we should outlaw such films?

Well, there’s the matter of expiation, or what Freud called “wish fulfilment”. If somebody has an unnatural urge to slice people up, and watching films can satisfy them sufficiently that they don’t actually do it, where’s the harm?

Of course, you’ll always hear certain moralists say, “All rapists are known to have large collections of pornography!” Well, duh. That doesn’t prove that pornography causes violence. If it did, the amount of violent rape would be astronomical. Moreover, rape existed long before movies. The same goes for violent video games like “Doom”: a handful of nut cases might take them as “inspiration”, but I don’t think you can conclude that the game causes the sickness.

Some people may fantasize about doing bad things, like killing the jerk who just cut you off in traffic. But most of us have evolved to the point where we know when to stop ourselves. That’s called civilization.

It would be nice if none of us had base instincts, but that’s not going to happen soon. I personally don’t “get” people who have violent tendencies, but then they might not understand some things about me. The bottom line, then, is whether or not anybody is getting hurt.

This is a bit off-topic, but I’m reminded of a scene from the show “Barney Miller”. Miller says to Wojohowicz: “There are some things I like that you might find surprising, or even shocking.” Wojo mulls this over and asks, “It’s nothing … disgusting, is it?” Miller responds, “Not to me!”

3

Q.**am I a sick bastard?[/]
No.
We all have different tastes. Including you and your GF. The tastes of very few people are so different, that we isolate them. But if there is a mass market, it’s OK. Some people spend hours in the library, some watch boxing matches. They can’t understand each other. Every man to his taste.

4

Yes, you are a sick bastard, for having such a narrow-minded, unimaginitive, unreasonable girl friend.

Replace her with someone more interesting.

5

If I were to describe to you the fantasies my wife and I concoct together in our (and other’s) bedrooms, we would be condemned, exhiled, discommendated, discommunicated, drawn and quartered. But, my God we have alot of fun and fulfilling nights.

There isn’t a taboo idea that we haven’t played with, including anything and everything sick and repulsive to society (and ourselves) were they to happen in real life. But, in the bedroom it stays.

suum ciqwe (to each his own).