To be honest, I’d rather have a root canal with no anesthetic than to endure one of Dr.J’s work functions. See, the problem with people who work 80 hours a week is that when they try to socialize, they wind up sitting around and talking about work. Sitting around listening to people talk about folks you don’t know, things you don’t do, and a place where you never spend any time is pretty dull, and I find myself smiling and nodding and thinking, “You know, I could be at home in my underwear, organizing my navel lint and watching the dogs lick their asses right now.”
Still, if somebody deliberately planned an outing to someplace that was a lot of fun and basically said, “Oh, we don’t you to come,” it would be something of a slap in the face. I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to feel a bit put out over something like that, nor do I think it’s unreasonable to feel that drinking and dancing (especially if there’s a lot of the former) all night without spouses present isn’t really the smartest idea ever.
Near as I can tell, SoC isn’t demanding that her husband agree with her, just wanting him to acknowlege that her feelings are real and valid. It really sounds like he’s got more than a bit of that “She’s crazy, but what can you do?” thing going on, like he’s indulging a bit of ridiculous paranoia by not going. That would bother me a lot more than him just saying “I know it’s a weird situation, but I’d like to go.”
After further reflection, I guess I do have a few things to add…
WordMan thank you very much for your comprehensive posts. It helps to look at something when it’s broken down like that.
CCL, I actually think that Mr. Cookie does agree that it’s a bit odd and his stance is more of your second scenario (that wouldn’t bother you so much). As far as me having an issue with the beach party, that would be your first scenario - “she’s crazy and I’m going anyway.”
As I said, there is no argument at all going on at the present time, it just seems to be a recurring theme with this company, and I’m trying to see things from a different perspective because I don’t want to be irked or insulted or biting my tongue anytime this stuff comes up.
As for the peops who made snarky comments suggesting I don’t let him get dressed on his own, understand that I’m not shouting from a pedestal that I am right. I have even admitted that it makes me question whether or not I do have a problem with my trust for him. I have said I don’t think I do, but that understandbly, these sorts of things make me wonder.
A lot of posters have commented that they trust their spouse implicitly or that they would not have married someone who gave them reason to be concerned. And I guess part of my point is that I would guess that a large portion of happily married people would say that they trust their spouse implicitly. Yet, there also seems to be a lot of folks out there who cheat. Did all of the spouses of the cheaters walk around and say, “you know, I love him/her but I don’t really trust him/her?” Are all the people that cheat just pre-wired cads or wayward women with no morals?
So, I think what I’m saying is that I agree there are some people out there that are going to stray, no matter what, when or with who. But, I just think it’s naive to ignore the fact that certain situations can create environments that pose more of a challenge to even the best of spouses.