Am I "creepy" for fancying Cheryl Cole?

Girls Aloud pop star Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy) is largely acknowledged as one of the most beautiful (celeb) women in the UK at present, and was voted FHM’s Sexiest Woman 2009 in the UK. [All links SFW.]

The other night I was watching X-Factor, where Ms Cole is one of the judges, and I passed remark to the effect that I thought she was very pretty and wouldn’t pass up some form of sexual congress with her.

My companion (a 38-year-old woman) called me “creepy” - not primarily because of my lewd remark, but because Cheryl is a mere 26, while I am 42.

What say you ladies and gents? Am I creepy for liking Cheryl? Or am I, as I argued, “a normal straight man”?

I wouldn’t say that’s creepy. I’d question your taste, but that’s just a personal difference of opinion on beauty.

But expressing an attraction to attractive people, despite age differences, does not constitute creepy.

Is your companion just a friend who was watching with you or are you intimately involved with her?

I’m a male & if a 40+ yr old man fancying a 20+ yr old woman is creepy, I don’t want to be non-creepy, BUT admitting that to a 30+ yr old woman with whom one is involved isn’t the most brilliant thing one might say.

Of course you’re not creepy, it’s not like she’s 14. I thought everyone fancied Cheryl Cole!

You’d be creepy if you didn’t find her attractive. Male or female, straight or gay!

Then again, I guess it depends on what your actual words were.

Saying, “I find Cheryl Cole attractive” isn’t creepy but I can think of a few things that could be said that may be creepy…

If, at any point between saying you found her attractive and saying that you’d like to shag her, you handed your companion a homemade Cheryl Cole mask to wear then I’d go for creepy.

I don’t fancy her missen, but to each their own.

“Née Tweedy” suggests that she’s married. So, even if your chances weren’t slim enough already, do you really want to be a homewrecker?

I was out with two new friends, much younger than I am, a few months ago. They were chatting up a couple of 21-year-olds and I was a bit of a fifth wheel. I was relating the story to a friend later and I said one of them was very cute. I think my (female) friend’s reply was “that’s gross.”

I don’t think your thoughts are creepy, but there may come an age when we need to keep those thoughts to ourselves.

Of course it’s creepy! You are old enough to be her…cool sophisticated older stepbrother from another marriage.

She’s pretty but not at all my type, so I’d say I don’t find her attractive. So I guess I’m creepy.

Some people think acknowledging the attractiveness of someone much younger than you is creepy, full stop, regardless of the way you express it. On the other hand, you may have expressed your desire for sexual congress with this woman in a way that put your companion off. If you actually said “sexual congress” anywhere in there, I’m going to have to call that creepy.

My companion was not someone with whom I’m in a relationship.

Ms Cole said on the TV something like “that song made me bounce” and I said something like “Heh, I’d like to make her bounce” in a lascivious fashion, intended to be humorous. My companion’s reaction was unexpected, and I started to wonder if I have in fact lost touch with decorum, or whether in fact she has an outlier opinion.

FTR, my roomie (30/F) said to her “no, that’s not creepy, that’s just being a normal bloke”.

Roomie has the right of it, IMHO, and Companion’s come adrift somewhere.

Cheryl’s a bonny lass – not my type, exactly, but somewhat more attractive since she seems to be not quite the glakey charva I’d assumed she was.

She’s a pop singer married to a footballer. How long do you think that’s going to last?

I think that Cheryl Cole is very attractive, and I would not mind saying that out loud in mixed company. I don’t think that expressing my attraction for the lovely young celebrity is particularly inappropriate or skeevy in any way, but, if someone finds that creepy, well, that is their prerogative, I suppose. People are just going to have different personal standards – there is not much you can do about it!

The OP’s explanation sounds perfectly fine to me. But you never know what phrasing someone will object to until they object to it.

Other than being human and having a set of boobs, I don’t resemble Ms. Cole in any way. If my SO made a similar comment about her, I’d totally blow it off. He’s not ever going to “make her bounce” and he’ll still be makin’ ME bounce in the morning, so it’s no big deal.

Now, MAYBE if he said that about, say, his neighbor or one of his co-workers, I’d be creeped out and a little jilted…but fancying a celebrity is no big deal. That’s what they exist for!

Count me as another who thinks it’s normal and healthy to find a young adult sexually attractive, even if you are much older. Of course, there are politer and less polite ways of saying this; and, regardless of age or gender, it’s always dangerous to suggest to your SO that you find someone more attractive than him/her; but what the OP said does not seem perverted to me.

Please. Any dude with half a sperm count would hit that. Your friend’s jealous; you’re not creepy, just a dawg.

Pursuing a relationship with someone that age would be into creepy territory, though only just. But just expressing admiration from afar, of a celebrity?

For the record, the standard rule of thumb for relationships with one younger than oneself is “half your age plus seven”, so for a 42-year-old, the threshold of creepiness is 28.

Posh and Beckham are getting along pretty well, aren’t they?

Anyone else reach for their Nadsat dictionary? I didn’t realize that was modern slang for a gloopy molodoy soomka.

Don’t know, how long have Beckie and Vickie been married? ETA: well, it ain’t fair when Time himself is faster than you!

I might have snorted at you (41, F) but not because I think your remark is creepy, just because it seems like a good way to drive the conversation into “pull the guy’s leg a bit” terrain.