Did not know that… live and learn 
Well, as usual, “know your audience.” I could think of plenty of women who would not be offended by such a comment, and even take it as a sincere compliment, and I could think of others who would probably punch you in the nose. I don’t think it’s fair to say that such a comment is never appropriate. Some folks have no problem with it.
I would agree with you that it has a very very narrow range of appropriateness and he was nowhere near it.
I only include the tiny slice of OKness because my pal and I who play Scrabble together joke about him “peeking at my rack”. He’s my closest friend though whom I’ve known for years and that’s about the only person I would tolerate it with.
I consider myself a pretty liberal person (I’d have to, with this group, huh?), but right, that’s what I think, I guess. In response to pulykamell, how do you know who is going to have a problem with it, and who doesn’t? And when would such a comment be appropriate? In a bar, as opposed to in a rehearsal?
All my gay friends comment on my boobs - but they’re my best friends. I might be weirded out if it was just some dude I didn’t know well, gay or not. It doesn’t seem appropriate in this situation.
Bolding mine. Maybe I’m over-reading it as well, but it could have been an attempt to make you uncomfortable enough that you would voluntarily quit. Just my 2 cents.
And as with any uncertainty, err on the side of not taking the chance of offending someone.
I teach at a school with mostly fashion and interior design majors. As you can well imagine, there is a goodly amount of Gay men studying at the school and most have many female friends. I have often heard those guys say things to their female friends like, “you have great breasts” or “your ass is perfect in those jeans” etc. and most of the time, it is taken as if another woman gave them a compliment. In other words, it was hardly a come-on and for the most part, simply a critical eye from a Gay guy.
I do not know the exact context of what that guy said to you, whether it was meant to be a joke that fell flat, or if he was trying to convey that, “yes, women with breasts in this chorus are fine with me”.
That said, I find it odd that a GAY MEN’s Chorus would let women perform - otherwise they should change the name of the chorus. If I went to see them perform, I have to admit I would be a bit perplexed to see women performing with the Gay Men’s Chorus. I would not get up and walk out, but it does seem a bit odd.
I wouldn’t expect to see a man playing basketball in the Women’s Basketball Tournament, nor would I expect to see a boy playing with the Girl’s Soccer Team or
expect to see a Gay man playing pool for the Lesbian Pool League.
See, I don’t get why you didn’t say something that minute. Even when I was shy and unconfident that would have pried me out of my shyness enough to say something! “Well, they’re not for you to be looking at.” Or, “Are you kidding?” Or “Do you mind?” Maybe said in a half-joking manner, maybe not, depends on how he said the original line.
I would not have let it slide!
No, I admit the mistake. I should not have let it slide.
You don’t. That’s one of those great social leaps of faith. If there’s any doubt, err on the side of caution. People say stupid shit all the time, and if there’s no offense intended, I’m not going to get worked up about it.
If I overheard a comment like that coming from a gay man to a woman, I don’t think it would even have registered as weird. My experience has been similar to DMark’s, and gay men in my groups of friends have always gotten more leeway with these sorts of comments around women in our group, so I while I don’t necessarily expect it, I don’t find it odd.
But if you do find it uncomfortable, it is probably best to inform the person so he understands he’s crossing a personal boundary of yours.
If your breasts are “average”, then I can see you being offended. If they are magnificent, maybe the guy should be cut some slack.
Why? He’s not oogling your breasts!
Ha-ha (shut up, Kalhoun). I’d be bothered. Definitely bothered.
Vetbridge,
Eye of the beholder and all that,please define “average”.
I think we may need photographic evidence to get a handle on the situation.
Yeah, that’s it, we need pictures of your breasts to see if it was meant as a compliment or in jest.
Or something like that.
Yeah, pictures of your breasts might do the trick.
Maybe wearing a sweater…yeah breasts in a sweater.
Purely scientific evaluation, mind you.
I’ll be waiting.
It would be helpful to post a pic of your breasts, the better to judge the seriousness of his comments. 
Could he be a closeted STRAIGHT guy, who just likes to sing? I’m just guessing there aren’t too many straight guy choruses, outside of churches at least.
A poster comes here complaining about sexual harassment, and you guys makes sexually harassing jokes? What’s wrong with you? Do you think we’re some kind of community where we can casually tease each other without meaning any deep offense by it or something?
(I’m somewhat joking.)
Maybe he was trying to be a Jack to your Karen . I’ve known gay guys to be over the top that way; a lot more sexual innuendo and talk but it’s all taken very lightheartedly and not meant to be serious. If this is how the group interacts as a rule, then I think he really was just doing the ‘outlandish, raunchy gay guy’ thing. If you didn’t like Jack & Karen, I could see where that would be a problem.
I used to be a sign language interpreter for a Gay Men’s Chorus. I’ll **never ** forget the first rehearsal …
When the director started to introduce me, one of the members (who was, perhaps, not too happy about having a woman, or maybe was just hazing me) said: “what’s that ?!”
Director: “this is Pixisis.”
Member: “what’s that doing here?”
Director: “she’s going to be our sign language interpreter.”
Member: “that can’t be our interpreter!”
Director: “why not?”
Member: “that’s a woman!”
So … I just stood up and said “how do you know I’m not just the best damn drag queen you’ve ever seen ?” ::then added while cupping my breasts:: “they look real, don’t they ?”
the whole chorus fell out laughing, even the director.
when the rehearsal was over, I was made an honorary gay man. 
Gay man here, also a member of a Gay Men’s Chorus. Our chorus, also, voted to exclude women singers, and there was one hell of a months-long heated debate on the subject. A couple of guys actually dropped out as a result. The guy who made that comment to you most likely said it in order to get a laugh out of the other guys at your expense. Especially if he thinks of you as “just one of the guys,” which is in a way, what you are in this context. In other words, he was just kidding around, but wound up crossing the line and being a total jerk.
(I do have to point out that we’ve had women on our Board of Directors and as accompanist, stage manager and choreographer, not to mention all the women who are volunteers, patrons, etc. And none of them have a problem with the fact that they can’t be singing members.)