Reading my OP, I can see where you could have gotten that idea :). I think it must just be my nature LOL. Actually, I have been in two minds about having another child and really this is pretty much the only chance I am giving myself to fall pregnant (ie if it doesn’t happen this time, I’m not letting it happen)…plus this is really the only time in my work schedule that I CAN fall pregnant so that I can have the baby and be home during the Christmas lull. Things pick up again in January and it will be impossible for me to be home during that time. Timing is everything :P!
Update: So I went to my OBGYN today and she sent me for a quantitative hCG blood test. The level was 8.2. Under 5 is considered not pregnant, over 25 is considered pregnant. Now since I am only 9-11 dpo, this could mean that I am pregnant, but that we tested too early. I feel that this is a chemical pregnancy and the positive hpt means that levels are actually going down. I will be going back on Wednesday for another test. If the levels haven’t doubled by then, we will know that I was, but am now not pregnant.
Penchan, in my family regular periods are rare. A little spotting, and a long history of skipping provided good cover. Her hormone levels started off really low, so she got false negatives. That, and the fact that the baby made no visible change in her contours (if she had known she was pregnant, my sister would have been worried about her initial lack of weight gain) was a good disguise for the baby. He is a toddler now, and doing well.
In case anyone cares, my hCG level has fallen to 3.5 (negative). I have had a chemical pregnancy. All the websites say that chemical pregnancies rarely give symptoms, but I still have sore boobs and am nauseous. I still feel pregnant. Hopefully that will go away soon. I am expecting a very heavy period with lots of cramping, so that should be fun. I feel like it’s silly of me to mourn a miniscule bunch of cells but I am sad. I don’t know if we will try again.
{{{{biddee}}}}
I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you hoped. You have a right to your feelings, it’s not in the slightest bit silly to feel regret and sadness for what might have been.
Sorry to hear the news. 
Hugs all around.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…
For starters, your emotions aren’t silly!
Secondly - the ovum didn’t implant. It’s not the first time in human history that has happened, nor is it an indicator of “Well! Better give this up 'cause it ain’t ever gonna happen!” It just means the ovum didn’t implant.
Though if you’ve been reading crap like this, I can understand your mood:
Or, the most likely reason of all: there was no problem and the ovum just didn’t implant. As happens commonly.
Stuff like the above is worded in a way (“Most”! :rolleyes: ) so that one would feel as if there is some huge abnormality that must be overcome even for the mere hope of pregnancy, when all a chemical pregnancy is is a situation telling you that your egg was fertilized but that it didn’t implant.
Hell, it even implies “Well! You’re better off because there were some CHROMOSOMAL PROBLEMS with your future kid!!!” What a fuckin’ joke - I wonder what lawyer runs that website: “You’d better give the scariest possibility or else we’ll get sued for not properly warning otherwise healthy women that their innards are all fucked up!”
Well, my wife and I had a “chemical pregnancy” when we were unmarried and in our twenties - after I looked it up (using a much saner reference like an encyclopedia written before the Lawyer Age) I was like - THANK GOD!!! DODGED A BULLET THERE, DIDN’T WE HONEY??? 
So… go ahead and feel bad, that’s more than OK it’s natural. But don’t give up because some web sites about have you convinced that something is horribly, tragically wrong when it isn’t.
You’ll see. 
I’ve read that about 1 in 4 pregancies spontaneously abort, often before the woman realizes she’s pregnant. It happened to me- I only knew about it because my period went on for 3 weeks- and it’s happened to almost every woman I know that has multiple children. I’m not implying it’s no big deal- it’s okay if you see it as one, but don’t think it’s some sign of your inability to conceive and/or carry. At least, not the only sign- I don’t know if you have a history of infertility. But I think I’d look at it as a sign that I AM able to get pregnant, if it was me, and not dwell on how it ended.
many strong hugs for biddee
Thanks everyone for the support. I really appreciate it. I am feeling a lot better today although I had some cramping last night. My boobs aren’t as sore and I’m not as nauseous. I am sitting here drinking a huge cup of coffee and thinking about smoking a cigarette 
(I’m doing my best not to start smoking again). SO and I, after a long talk last night, have decided that we will wait a while before trying again. He is perfectly happy not to try again and says it is entirely my decision. I have an appointment with my OBGYN next week and we will talk about it then. As my best friend said to me, ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ so maybe this was a good thing and there was a reason for it (ie to make me give up smoking).
What makes it worse is that I had asked SO not to tell anyone that I was pg but he told his friend who told his wife, who told someone else etc etc, so now everyone thinks I am pregnant. I just can’t stand the thought of everyone feeling sorry for me, which they will. I hoped to keep this just with us. I think we will have to go the same route to tell everyone that I am not pg anymore.
biddee- if you don’t want people to feel sorry for you, or to let them know more of your business than your feel they should, you don’t have to tell them you had a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage, just say it was a “false alarm”.