A couple of incidents with my girlfriend have left me somewhat miffed, and she says I’m being totally out of line. I am soliciting opinions on whether I am being unreasonable with being annoyed here.
A recent weekend, we had several errands to run. We were both preoccupied with other thoughts due to the fact that we are moving away soon. Anyway, we get in the car to go out to complete some errands. The plan is this: we are driving from Point A to Point B to pick up some paperwork, but are also going to Points C and D on the same drive. Points C and D are much further away from Point B, in another direction, and getting to Points C and D requires getting on a freeway. But we have to go to Point B first because it’s time sensitive. Point B is much closer, and we have gone near there many times, and we have never gotten there by going on the freeway. So I begin driving, and I drive in a direction that is not really the direction we would have taken to get to Point B. It’s not the complete opposite direction, but it’s definitely not the way anyone local would have taken to get to Point B. An impartial observer might notice that it’s the route we take to get on the freeway. In the car: there is silence. Suddenly, just as I get on the freeway, I realize that I’m headed to Point C. I ask my girlfriend, uh, why didn’t you say anything? Surely she would have noticed that I was headed towards the freeway, a route we’d never take to get to Point B, but that we’d definitely take to get to point C. She says, “I thought you knew what you were doing.” From my vantage point, it seems clear that I’m going in a direction that we have never taken to get to Point B. A normal person, I feel, would have immediately noticed that I was taking an extremely circuitous route, and would have brought it to my attention that something seemed wrong. This did not happen.
Today in the Bay Area, there’s what is called a “Spare the Air Day.” Riding all public transit is free today. She had mentioned it earlier in the day, so we’d both been aware of it. However, as we entered the subway station, I headed over to the ticket machine. My girlfriend stood by silently as I fed my credit card in the machine. She watched as I carefully reduced the cost of my ticket to the cost of my fare. This took approximately 30 seconds. All the while she was standing there, saying nothing. Then as I approach the turnstile, I realize that they’re open, and there’s a sign that says “FREE-- SPARE THE AIR DAY.” I ask, uh, why didn’t you say anything? She says, “You knew it was free. We were just talking about it earlier.” I say, *#@#@* #@*#@$#!!! Obviously, I was acting out of force of habit! I didn’t need to buy the ticket today! Why did you just stand there and watch me put my money in without saying anything?
To her, these seem like minor incidents that I’m blowing completely out of proportion. However, I cannot deny that I feel an enormous amount of annoyance. It’s not the time or money that was wasted in these incidents. It’s the idea that she won’t say anything that could save me from making a mistake. If I saw her doing these things, I definitely would have reminded her, or pointed out these things, just to be on the safe side. If she was parallel parking on street sweeping day, should I just stand by and say nothing? Should I not say anything if she’s buying dinner and the entree she chooses has something she’s highly allergic to in it? Should I just say later that “I thought you knew” ?
I understand that I should take personal responsibility for my actions and all that, but come on… Isn’t it completely reasonable for me to expect her to say something when I’m obviously doing something wrong? She claims to have recognized oddity in my behavior both times, but stood by idly and said nothing. Am I right in being annoyed?