Raising free range children is fine if you’re allowing them to learn from their mistakes but not so fine if they don’t learn to follow directions.
Once the edict to zip up the jacket has been given then the jacket should be zipped up unless the goal is to argue over every damn thing that happens. That’s a power struggle that will continue to worsen over time.
It’s not a parent’s problem if they see an untied show and instruct the child to tie them. That’s what they’re supposed to do. It’s a child’s problem if they don’t follow instructions.
Zipping up a jacket when it’s cold is sound advice that should be adhered to. The only argument I can see is the temperature involved. I’ve worked with people who wore shorts in the winter while loading aircraft.
Are we just talking jackets or the parent/child power struggle that everybody goes through?
So…which is easier to fix: the child who won’t obey, or being the parent who gives unnecessary edicts?
I agree with you that once an edict is given, you have to be prepared to enforce it. I just don’t think this is a necessary or wise edict; it’s just asking for a power struggle to make it in the first place.
I see a lot of kids walking to or from school in the New England winters we have and their jackets aren’t closed up. Yes you can insist for your child to do this but don’t expect her to listen to you once she out of your sight! I really don’t think kids listen to parents the way we did as kids. Most parents were parents then, today I see parents spend more time texting when at park with their child than playing with their child
This is, and I mean this with all due respect, such utter bullshit.
True, my mom wasn’t texting when at the park. Because she wasn’t at the park with me. She was at home, in the kitchen, baking bread and talking with her best friend on the corded phone.
Our mothers didn’t play with us at the park when we were 6. Are you kidding me? The park was for kids! It’s where you sent your kids to get them out of your hair! Until the street lights came on!
Yep. I control piercings and tattoos. Those are grown up body mods. I don’t control how they dress (other than to make sure they are not going to get sent home from school for dress code violations), whether they zip up their coats, how they cut their hair (it grows).
I buy the groceries. They eat. If they don’t eat what I cook, they cook (mine are teenagers) or starve. I don’t buy junk food, so they don’t eat junk food (my son has a job now and buys his own junk food). That may mean a diet of peanut butter sandwiches, mac and cheese and grapes, but they won’t starve. With soda or sweets in the house only occasionally, they can’t make horrible choices. They both have pretty wide taste - it isn’t like they won’t eat vegetables through this approach - although that doesn’t mean they eat brussel sprouts (broccoli, asparagus and spinach they eat).
Living in Minnesota, when my kids were little, we made sure that the only clothes to pick from were weather appropriate. No shorts or t-shirts in January. If its bitter cold, they never didn’t zip up. If it isn’t bitter cold, they won’t get frostbite waiting at the bus stop.
We’ve had battles - homework has been one. But we’ve picked them and we’ve let them live with acceptable consequences - a D- is a passing grade.
Amen to that. My mother used to try to get me to wear heavy wool socks, insulated boots, mittens, hats, scarves, long underwear, sweaters, and down jackets every time the mercury dipped below 40 F. She just refused to believe I was too hot. We used to have fights about it. Eventually I realized discretion is the better part of valor, so I waited until I was out of sight of the house before taking half of it off. The insulated boots were the absolute worst. My feet got so damn hot that I removed the insulating inserts and hid them.
As an adult I don’t even own a pair insulated boots. Even when I spend hours outside on the coldest day of the year (in Maine!) my feet don’t get cold enough to need them.
Having been one of those little kids raised in New England, I can tell you that they haven’t done up their coats because they’re not cold enough to. As a little kid I ran around enough that having a zipped up jacket made me too hot unless it was below zero or actively snowing out. Hell, even walking home from school (3 miles) made me too damned hot and you bet my jacket was unzipped at that point because being cold isn’t nearly as bad as sweating in a heavy jacket. If the OP’s kid, or the kids you see get too cold, they’ll zip up. Otherwise, they probably feel fine despite the cold.
Sitting outside the other day with friends, I am wearing Shorts, Flip Flops, and a t-shirt. The other 2 are wearing Pants, shoes, shirts and light jackets. I am completely comfortable temperature wise, One of them is also, the other is actually cold enough to go get a blanket.
The fact that you think its cold doesn’t mean she does.
How is a zipped up jacket going to affect “her health and her safety”? Contrary to popular belief, you can’t catch a cold just from being out in the cold. The kiddo will be fine. If she gets cold, she can zip it up then.
They learn that that parents are often the source of bad advice and unreasonable requests. Fortunately, this teaches them to question so-called authority, thus making the world a better place.
