[Date: July 3, 2022]
[Place: North Carolina]
Wife: I bought some hamburger. Can we fire up the grill and cook them outside tomorrow?
Me: Don’t we have some tilapia we can grill inside instead? I know, I can make some nice waffles!
Wife: It’s the 4th of July. Let’s grill out! We don’t have to invite anyone. Just a few hamburgers.
Me: Can I put them in the air fryer?
Wife: You have good charcoal and the grill is clean. We hardly ever use it.
Me: There’s a reason for that, you know.
Wife: Grill the goddam burgers outside tomorrow!!!
Me: OK, ok…
Am I the only adult Southern male who doesn’t want to fire up my charcoal/gas/butane/electric/nuclear/solar grill all the time…or at all? The only reason I have one at all is because my wife brought it home one day after seeing it on sale.
Me: There’s a reason I don’t already have one.
To me, the hassle of grilling dwarfs any possible benefit. There are much better and easier ways to roast corn on the cob, char peppers, grill fish, bake potatoes, etc., and, frankly, I just don’t want much grilled red meat. I don’t want grilled white meat, either.
I know people will patiently explain to me how THIS fuel source and THAT grill design will make everything a breeze. Tried it all. It’s still a huge process with a final product I don’t really care for.
But…I do as ordered. Uncover the grill at 1000 hours. Clean grill components by 1300 hours. Start charcoal in starter chimney at 1600 hours. Coals ready by 1700 hours. Apply char and carcinogens to otherwise innocent ground beef at 1730 hours. Plate everything by 1800 hours. Begin grill cleaning process at 2100 hours. Complete grill cleaning process at 800 hours following day.
Grills are like boats. I’m happy to be there when someone is using their own so I can take advantage, but I don’t want to own one myself or have to operate it.
One aspect of grilling is it keeps the kitchen clean(er), and depending on the division of labor in your domicile, it may or may not make life easier for the wife and it may be a vacation bonus for her to enjoy.
Even if it’s the guy who does the cleaning, it’s less mess. But with the exception you noted, if you are the type of person who needs to clean the grill before use, then that to me explains who it’s such a chore. I just do a quick surface prep with a wire grill brush, and do a high burn at the end of the cooking to take care of the rest when using a gas grill.
I’m a northern woman. And i often don’t use the grill (which is my toy, not my husband’s) because it takes too much advanced planning. (I need to start it so far before dinner.) But when i do, i do it because the total work is less. Cleaning a frying pan is more work than running the metal brush over the grill. Cleaning the broiler (which, if we are being honest, does the same thing as the grill, and usually does it better) is WAY WAY more work than cleaning the grill.
The grill gets used about once a year, and I actually keep the grilling rack itself inside the house after I’ve cleaned it. It’s not propane, though I’ve use gas and propane in the past. My prep is uncovering the grill (Kingsford split-barrel with chimney), wiping it down, quickly cleaning the grill again, cleaning out the starter, etc. It’s not hours of work, but it’s not “turn on the gas, push the igniter, and go.”
I do ALL the kitchen cleaning at my house and, believe me, using a grill increases the work load significantly. Plus, the grill splits my prep, cook, and clean-up between two locations 50 paces apart.
Over the last 40 years, I’ve had Weber grills, large propane grills, small tabletop bottled propane grills, electric grills (yuk!), and many miscellaneous charcoal grills.
And I’m not claiming that NOBODY enjoys grilling out. I just don’t see the benefit/cost ratio that others apparently do.
Yeah. My prep is putting some newspaper and charcoal in the chimney and lighting a match. Then dumping the charcoal and putting the grill on top. And then, right before i apply the meat, i give the grill a quick scrub with the wire bristles.
If i were cleaning all those parts i would never use the grill. I really don’t clean anything grill-related except the utensils. And i guess i dump some ash in the compost pile from time to time.
I have to admit that I have a different experience. Again, I do ALL the kitchen cleaning in our house, including dishes, utensils, pots and pans, air fryer, oven, cooktop, counters, etc. It takes me less than 10 minutes to clean an oven, for example, even after broiling.
Of course, I currently use a charcoal grill, which is indeed more work to clean than a propane grill.
I’m not enthusiastic about grilling anymore, but for a different reason. Our little patio is right next to the fence that separates our property from our crapass neighbors. That hasn’t been too big a problem over the years. But now they have another illegal tenant who has brought with him two pitbulls. It’s no fun to try to work or sit on your own patio with two large pitbulls barking at you from eight feet away through a flimsy old fence.
If you’d volunteer to clean my broiling pan the only reason I’d ever use the grill is to avoid heating up the kitchen on hot days. I love the results of broiling in the oven, but i really hate the clean up.
A lot of the cleaning is the spider webs and pine pollen from having the grill sit (covered) on my deck all year. Again, not hours of work…just a few minutes. But it’s outside and more than I need to do when I pull out a cast iron frying pan.
I live in North Carolina, but as I’m Norwegian I don’t think I count as southern. On the other hand grilling outside in the summer is also Very Norwegian, and I’ve never liked it. I like it even less in Subtropical NC.
As you say it’s a great hassle compared to cooking in the kitchen and the benefits are slight.
Smear it with Quick ‘n’ Brite and let it sit for a few minutes. Wipe everything off with a damp cloth.
I clean the oven/broiler the same way. It takes five minutes to smear QnB all over and then five minutes with a damp/wet cloth to wipe it off. (Let it sit for about 30 minutes in between.) No brushes, no pungent caustic cleaners. It’s quite surprising.
Amen, brother Southerner! That’s exactly my point.
I would probably feel differently if the end product was “food of the gods,” but it’s just good.
To bring full disclosure, I’m my wife’s second husband and her first husband was a big “charcoal only” grill master. To her, Summer = grilling out on a charcoal grill.
I clean the broiler by pouring any liquid fat into the fat can, then letting it sit in the sink with some soapy water in it for a while, and then running a brush over it.
I might repeat if it still feels greasy.
I’m not willing to put a greasy pan away. I’m willing to walk away from a completely uncleaned outdoor grill.
If there’s pollen on the outside of the grill, the rain will eventually wash it away. If there’s pollen inside (there isn’t, since i leave the lid on) it will burn away as the grill comes to temperature.
That’s the difference. I don’t feel the need to clean the grill. I honestly don’t know anyone who cleans their grill. Cleaning the grill would make it easy more work.
But the folks who see grilling outdoors as a hassle with dubious or negative cost/benefit ratio are not factually wrong.
Outdoor grilling is a culinary atavism. It’s dirty, labor intensive, time consuming, and less reliable.
The rule that the cook rarely enjoys the taste of their own cooking is in play too. I find eating someone else’s grilling is more enjoyable, simply because my senses haven’t already been inured to the smells and tastes I have exposed myself to for the last couple of hours.
I enjoy grilling almost exclusively for the process, almost as a ritual. And somewhat for the challenge.
The analogy to boats is apt. A sailboat is a way to get from point A to point B but there are tidier, faster, and easier ways to accomplish that. The point of a sailboat is sailing.
Have you seen a grill after a NC pine pollen season? Everything within the grill is just yellow with sticky pine dust. Ain’t no keepin’ pine pollen out.
I’m truly not being anal about cleaning everything. With a charcoal grill, there’s no “extra heat at the end to burn everything off” and there are, of course, ashes to be dumped. It’s not an onerous task, but I wouldn’t show my guests the grill right after I uncovered it and ask, “You OK with this?”
When I had propane grills, I also had the issue of the grease drains and cans.
gnoitall, you have done an excellent job describing the situation. I can do without the ritual…just give me some food. In this specific instance, there will be three hamburgers (and toasted buns) for my wife and me.
Since I grill as infrequently as possible, I would have that one-year’s worth of crud on the grill to get rid of. That’s actually why I pull the grilling rack itself, clean it thoroughly, and store it inside in my kitchen closet.