I gave up pork, shellfish and anything from the water without fins & scales over six years ago. My assistant and now close friend who grew up Muslim initially caused me to consider eliminating these animals from my diet. A book entitled “The Maker’s Diet” sealed the deal and I’ve never had another bite!
I’m not religious, but rather than saying I don’t eat pork or seafood…except fish with scales and fins such as tuna. In some situations, it’s just simpler to say I eat Kosher and let them assume that I’m Jewish. If I just say that I don’t eat A, B and C, it often leads to questions about why I choose not to eat them. Then if I go into too much detail, people get pissed because it makes them start to think about what they eat…
I think it is worth pointing out that truly keeping Kosher requires more than just not eating the kinds of meat that you prefer not to eat.
Keeping Kosher requires keeping meat and milk separate, and for the truly observant, can cause major issues with cleaning dishes or keeping them separate.
Now, in casual usage, with the people you come in contact with, claiming that what you do is keeping kosher may keep things simple.
And if so, well, I find it a hard choice to critique.
But if you encounter someone who really knows what keeping Kosher means, and doesn’t keep Kosher him/herself, you could create new problems in pursuit of simplicity. And that is a bad thing.
A vegetarian ex-co-worker took to telling people he was Buddhist when traveling in South-East Asia as this seemed to ensure that he wasn’t served dishes with meat. When he simply told them he was vegetarian the outcome was inconsistent; he said in one case a restaurant tried to serve him pork.
No doubt. I have a friend who owns her own catering business. She’s come into good standing with the Jewish community which means 80% of her business is for the Kosher crowd.
Specializing in Kosher pays good money but oy vey! All the stuff you have to do to be observant to all the rules is mind blowing. The washing of the dishes part is what really blew my mind.
I don’t understand why you can’t just say, “I dont like these foods, and will not eat them.” Hell I won’t eat bugs. It’s an irrational prejudice, I know it. Everyone should have the abiilty to simply say, “I don’t want to eat this.” You should, too.
Why tell a lie to explain your preferences? Besides, how often do you have to refuse food? At a restaurant, just say “the pasta special looks good” rather than explain your objections to every item you *aren’t *ordering.
Besides, you wouldn’t be able to eat at most restaurants if you really kept kosher. Even this lapsed Catholic knows that.
Just list the things that you can’t eat. If you want, you can add, “Incidentally, it’s more or less the things that aren’t kosher or halal, although I’m not Jewish or Moslem.” If it’s a matter of what you can’t bring along with you for your lunch or what you don’t order in a restaurant, it’s nobody else’s business what you eat. If your friends object to what you eat, maybe you need to find a new set of friends. If you get together with your friends for meals where everyone contributes food, it may be trickier. You may need to be sure to be able to survive on the things that you bring.
As a picky eater myself, explaining yourself get’s really effin old.
I don’t like tuna.
Why not? Are you allergic?
Umm, no, I just don’t like it.
Well, try it anyways.
No thanks, I don’t like it.
There’s hardly any tuna in it, just try it, you’ll like it.
No thanks, I’ll just grab a burger on my way over, you guys start without me.
But you haven’t even tried it, how do you know you won’t like it?
Because I don’t like tuna.
But you have tried MY tuna casserole, it’s really good.
That’s okay, I’ll take a pass.
And that conversation will go on and on. And, since I’m a picky eater, I’ve had the exact same conversation with a lot of foods. Some people don’t seem to understand that if I don’t like a food, I’d rather just not eat it. I’m not going to try your version of it, no matter how many times you ask me. I’m not insulting you and, for the record, you’re not insulting me by making it (in most cases). I’ve been a picky eater for long enough that I can take care of myself. But, it gets really old when I can’t just say “No thanks, I don’t like Tuna/green beans/pine nuts/strawberry spinach salad/homebrewed double IPA etc” and you can’t just say “Okay” or even “Wow, I loooove green beans, I couldn’t live without them” but the pestering about why I should try them or why you seem to think, after 30 years you can change me is obnoxious.
So, for all those people that say “just tell them”, that’s fine, but the next time you offer something to someone and they say they don’t like it, just accept it at face value and say “okay” and move on. No judgements, no trying to change their dietary habits, no telling them why whatever you’re making is so much better then all the times they’ve had it in the past…
Even more fun was being in college and not liking beer. Do you know how many people asked me if I was a recovering alcoholic? Ya, that’s it. I’m a recovering alcoholic at 18 years old, and that’s why I’m in your basement at a college party walking around telling people I don’t like beer waiting for my friends to leave so I can drive them home. I have the best will power ever. I did, after a year or so, find that the questions stopped if I held an empty beer can.
I don’t get people caring about others seeing the guy eat things that aren’t kosher. So what? If you are in the position to need to know, you won’t be getting that information from him but from your religious leader or background. Judaism isn’t a proselyting religion, so you’re not even setting a bad example to potential converts.
And, anyways, I know of a lot of Jewish people who only keep part of kosher. Why wouldn’t there be something between the two extremes, and not just traditionalists who do it all and reformists who do none of it?
Anyone who says “find new friends” obviously either has little experience in the area or has been really lucky. Friendship is not something that just happens. It’s hard to find a group of people you mostly get along with, especially if you keep dumping them entirely if they do one thing that bugs you. Friendship is about compromise, and, yes, sometimes that means simplification.
As for listing things, that’s all well and good if the list is small, but if it’s quite large, you will overwhelm whoever you are talking to. Talking to people constantly involves simplifying things, which often causes you to lose accuracy as well as precision.
The thing about saying you eat kosher is that there is a built-in reason so you don’t have to discuss it. As a bonus, that reason is religious, so most people want to avoid that topic anyways. So it’s not just the list you are avoiding, it’s the inevitable questions afterwards, along with people who see you not liking food as a challenge.
I wish there was a way to make the term more accurate without inviting a ton more questions, but I sure can’t think of any. Even saying “basically kosher” is enough to make people ask what “basically” means. Your version above is even worse, as it can start an entire conversation.
And if you find that type of conversation more of a chore than fun, why wouldn’t you do what you could to avoid it?
It’s never an issue when I’m eating out, but the problem is when I’m invited to dinner/cookout/bbq at someone’s home! They feel horrible that I end up not eating, but I feel inappropriate accepting an invitation then adding, but I don’t eat this, that, that, that…because I don’t expect anyone to go to any extra expense or hassle just to fix me something that I will eat!
I’ve learned how to be prepared with food I will eat in case they don’t have something when I go to these gatherings. Okay, sometimes I take snacks just in case, but even if they have pork in every single dish they serve, I can always fill up on BEER!
My former assistance and dear friend that I mentioned in the OP as being an influence in giving up these foods was born in Pakistan, and raised in Dubai, Saudi Arabia and a few other very hot, dusty and Muslim countries. He has jokingly told me to say I’m Muslim or considering converting to Islam instead of saying Kosher.
Then I wouldn’t have to itemize the foods that I refuse to eat, but I would also be required to arrive at the airport 48 hours prior to a dometic flight! I would also risk being added to the No-Fly List at any moment and I would grow very tired of body cavity searches by incompetent TSA agents all the time, too!!!
True story, off topic, but funny and short- He and I worked together a large regional homebuilder in Georgia for four years. I was the Accounting Manager and later promoted to Assistant Controller and he was my right hand man in both positions. Our company is headquartered in Atlanta, but has operations and offices in Charlotte, Raleigh, Phoenix, and Albuquerque. I would visit each regional office at least twice each year to conduct an audit and try to make sure that they were in compliance with all federal and local real estate and property tax laws…it was an enormous undertaking each time and, finally, the CFO (my boss) approved for him (my Asst) to go to Phoenix and Albuquerque with me.
The night before we left, he came by my office and said “You know we need to be at the airport at least four hours before our flight leaves, right?” I snickered and said, I never get there more than 45 minutes prior to takeoff. Because he had become such a close friend and I spent 10-12 hours per day with him, I often forgot that he was Pakistani…and, as a group, they tend to spend longer getting through security…much, much longer! He told me a horror story about it taking almost nine hours for him and three of his friends to all make it thru the gate! They had to fly standby since their plane had left long before they got there…
But I had an idea- I’m a gay man and my Paki friend is straight, but he is also quite handsome and he dresses like he just walked out of the GQ catalog! I told him to maintain physcial contact with me as much as possible while were in line- a hand on my shoulder, arm over neck and shoulder, every just standing so close to me that it almost any onlooker would think, those two guys make a hot-looking couple!
No vulgar or crude touching (unless he weaked me with alcohol (or tap water) first at the hotel), just lots of we’re two handsome young guys and we love each other…which was true, except the type of love they inferred from our actions wasn’t the platonic love that we actually have for one another…
Anyway, we made it through Security without the slightest hitch…after we were on the other side, I laughed and told him, “I knew it would work like a charm, who has ever heard of a homosexual terrorist???”
Back on point, what if I said, “I try to eat kosher whenever possible”?
Beyond avoiding the ‘unclean’ or ‘forbidden’ foods, I also have great respect for the strict animal slaughter guidelines also required for meat to be kosher. If the animal isn’t slaughtered exactly as required, even an animal that would normally be kosher, it becomes ‘unclean’ when improperly killed.
The reason I respect those guidelines is beause they exist to make sure that the animal is killed in the the quckestl, least painful and most humane way possible! If a God exists and he gave man dominion over the earth and its creatures, I would also expect him to reqiure man to appreciate the animal whose life is being sacrificed to feed you and your loved ones AND to make sure that the poor creatures aren’t mistreated or fored to suffer PLUS lose their life so we can eat! The Jews respect, even revere, the animals that they raise to be slaughtered for food. I admire that.
