Yeah, I hate that too when someone just starts BACKING INTO my car without the proper use of reverse lights.
BTW, over here in The Netherlands, indicators are widely regarded as a sign of action, not a sign of request. Some dumb fucks don’t get this, and scare the shit out of me when I am driving 130 km/h in the left lane, and they’re on the right behind a truck doing 80 km/h - and then, ALL OF A SUDDEN when I’m only 15 meters away: blink-blink-blink…
Gets me everytime. The REAL fuckheads even DO move left, figuring that my brakes are good enough to slow me down some 50 km’s in 15 meters… up till now, they have been.
There’s another amazing device the scrotebags never use. Actually, there are generally three of them - they’re called rear-view mirrors. They could be very useful for looking at the facial expressions and/or muscular gyrations the guy behind you is displaying right after you cut him off without signaling, but these assholes apparently can’t be bothered. They don’t know what they’re missing.
You see, if a highway patrol pig wants to pull you over and search your car because it doesn’t like your bumper stickers and is trying to get you to break the law by tailgating you until you have to change lanes and you signal before doing so, then it has to use its brain (OWWWW- THAT HURT ME) to think of a semi-legitimate excuse to give you for pulling you over immediately.
Then the poor pig’s head hurts and it is MUCH more irritable when you inquire as to why you were pulled over. Then the pig starts to get embarrassed, because it takes it like 5 minutes to come up with “You need to signal for longer before making a lane change.” What, you don’t think PIGS have feelings, too?
Mary Ann and GuanoLad: you are sooo right! I almost got killed, walking in a crosswalk, with the light, and a van–no signal–decided to whip around the corner. Hey, right of way wasn’t the issue. If I’d known the putz was going to do something stupid, hey…go ahead. I’d rather live.
As it was I barely jumped out of his way in time. And he gave me the finger.
Of course there are those dear folks who do use the turn signal. They signal left and turn right, signal right and turn left, or decided to turn in front of you from the wrong lane…but hey, they have the signal on!
The single most valuable advice I ever got in drivers’ ed was: you can’t be too paranoid.
Is that what that little stick on the left is for? Well, shit fire and save matches! I wondered what the hell that was for! I thought I could only push it back and forth to blind other drivers at night. Well, now you’ve really got me wondering what those silly belts are all about…
My very favorite “turn signal incident”: The driver that pulled into the left turn lane, turned on his left turn signal…and turned right, directly in front of a car that was going straight. Luckily, that second car had good brakes.
Come on, won’t someone tell me about that obviously kinky restraint device? Belts and buckles? It seems way kinky to me but someone out there MUST know what those straps are about. And why can’t I get that air bag to spit out popcorn? And what is that whole strap the kids in the back thing about?
Byz, you strap the kids down so that they’re easier to strangle when you feel the urge. Otherwise they’re too squirmy.
Seriously, it’s much easier to drive with little Suzy or Joe in a car seat…as they’re not bouncing all over the car. Car seats are worth it just in the aggravation they prevent, let alone the accident/safety issue.
My hubby has been known to tell people in parking lots that it’s a shame they spent so much on their SUV or yuppie-mobile that they couldn’t afford the turning signals. He usually gets away safely before the idiots figure it out…
Me, my theory is that the Beemers radios that play the subliminal messages exhorting their drivers to drive so arrogantly are not programed to include specific instructions to signal before swerving from the far left lane to exit.
So, you have those islands in the middle of a multi-lane two way road. The ones that allow you to turn left. My question is
why am I the only driver on the road that knows that you’re supposed to drive to the furthest curb, then turn?
I know that might be a little hard to visualize. I’m saying that if this is the island crossing:
) (
And you’re approaching from the left of this page and are preparing to turn towards the top, then you’d advance your car to the “(” on the right. This means that anyone turning left from the opposite direction doesn’t have their view of oncoming traffic blocked by your car.
It works for you too;it’s a friggin’ win-win situation. So why am I the only one who knows this?
Back to the OP: People who don’t know how to signal aren’t as bad as those after-thought signalers Satan was talking about.
Hm, I guess the original owner must have substituted a regular radio when he sold the car. But that’s OK, the turn signals will be the LAST part of that car to ever wear out…
Crumb, so you’re all saying that, if I take a vacation drive, anywhere I go I will come upon the same jerks I drive with here? Indiana doesn’t help the situation by stating in our drivers’ manual that turn signals should be used to merge from cloverleaf on-ramps onto expressways. What are people driving along the highway supposed to believe you are going to do if you do not use your signal, that you are going to immediately pull over onto the shoulder? So that’s what the gov’t wants us to use our signals for, to signal when we aren’t even turning or changing lanes. Meanwhile they don’t bother to enforce people who don’t use their signals at all.
As for Sealemon’s issue, I know that’s way too confusing to these people who can’t even use their turn signals. I’m just happy in those situations to get through them without a scratch, even if I have to wait for the morons because they can’t figure out how to do it right.
Let’s take a moment to imagine how nice all our roads would be if all the non-signallers were not allowed to drive. Hey, there’d be no more traffic jams, as there’d be so few of us drivers left.
In SC, where I learned to drive, there are a few simple facts of life that you MUST learn:
No one uses a turn signal. Period. If you see it blinking, they got the car like that. I’ve seen people in the left hand lane have the right turn signal on, get into the left turn lane and turn left.
When it’s rainy or foggy out, it calls for defensive driving. The best defense is a good offense, so, when you can’t break or see as well as normally, drive faster than normally and push yourself into gaps that your car can’t fit into.
When you’re driving on that fucking 80 year old bridge that isn’t wide enough for two cars to go sided by side but still has two lanes and the speed limits 40 and the railings couldn’t stop an underweight pig from breaking through and falling over the side, people are going to drive 20 mph over the speed limit and drive even more aggressively than normally.
The biggest cars are always driven by the smallest women. And they’re all talking on cell phones.
One stereotype is true. Old women drive big cars slowly.
Avoid pickup trucks, they’re being driven by drunk rednecks with gunracks and confederate flags.
EVERYONE FUCKING TAILGATES! No one will ever get further back from the car in front of them, at ANY time at all, no matter WHAT the speed, than 10 feet. AND THEIR GODDAMN TAIL LIGHTS DON"T WORK!
If you don’t tail gate, people will honk at you because, if you’re not RIGHT behind someone you MUST not be going fast enough!
If you don’t go at least 10 mph over the speed limit, people will hate you!
SC drivers fucking suck.
And that’s where I spent my formative driving years.
