There's a special place in hell for people who...

The BBQ Pit
1

(Inspired by this thread )

-Don’t use their turn signals. Fuck, people, that little lever on the side of your steering column wasn’t stuck on there randomly by a drunken assembly-line worker in Detroit. It has a purpose! In the future, do please try and indicate when you are about to careen across multiple lanes or veer onto another road.

-Leave their turn signals on. At the same time, do please turn your fucking turn signal off when you are done turning, merging, or otherwise manipulating the position of your vehicle relative to the lane structure of the road. Do you not hear the little click-click-click-click noise? Are you just stupid?

-Drive with their brights/hi-beams on. Holy Christ! You don’t need to have your hi-beams on while driving on busy city streets! Especially if you have a large vehicle that conveniently places your headlights on the same horizontal plane as the rearview mirror of the small car in front of you. If that car begins flashing its own lights, brake lights and hazards, maybe they are trying to tell you something. Or maybe they should just prepare a handwritten sign to stick out the window that says TURN YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS DOWN.

-Don’t wait their turn at the stop sign. HOLY FUCK. Did you people not pay attention in driver’s ed class? Or during your driving test when you (hopefully) got your license? This isn’t 'nam, people - there are RULES. You can’t just come upon an intersection where 2 or 3 other cars have arrived roughly simultaneously, California-stop that shit and blow through. Nor can you inexplicably, while waiting for your turn, decide to gun it as though your 10 seconds of waiting are more important than anyone else’s. I hope you get hit by a large truck.

2

You forgot “drive with the radio blaring at 120 decibels and the windows open.” I don’t care what kind of music you’re listening to, I don’t want to hear it inside my apartment. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that if I can distinguish individual lyrics three floors up through closed windows with the fan on, television on, water running, and maybe a cat yowling for good measure, then you’re certainly actively damaging your hearing. Unfortunately, even when you’re stone deaf you can still feel that pounding bass.

Oh, and can we add “cops who don’t pull people over and ticket them for all of the above violations?” Or perhaps more fairly, “taxpayers and their governments who don’t budget sufficient police coverage to allow officers to adequately monitor unsafe behavior.”

3

Let’s add people walking in front of you who, for no reason whatsoever, just stop and stare off into space. I hate them.

4

[QUOTE=CynicalGabe]
(Inspired by this thread )

-Don’t use their turn signals. Fuck, people, that little lever on the side of your steering column wasn’t stuck on there randomly by a drunken assembly-line worker in Detroit. It has a purpose! In the future, do please try and indicate when you are about to careen across multiple lanes or veer onto another road.

-Leave their turn signals on. At the same time, do please turn your fucking turn signal off when you are done turning, merging, or otherwise manipulating the position of your vehicle relative to the lane structure of the road. Do you not hear the little click-click-click-click noise? Are you just stupid?

-Drive with their brights/hi-beams on. Holy Christ! You don’t need to have your hi-beams on while driving on busy city streets! Especially if you have a large vehicle that conveniently places your headlights on the same horizontal plane as the rearview mirror of the small car in front of you. If that car begins flashing its own lights, brake lights and hazards, maybe they are trying to tell you something. Or maybe they should just prepare a handwritten sign to stick out the window that says TURN YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS DOWN.

-Don’t wait their turn at the stop sign. HOLY FUCK. Did you people not pay attention in driver’s ed class? Or during your driving test when you (hopefully) got your license? This isn’t 'nam, people - there are RULES. You can’t just come upon an intersection where 2 or 3 other cars have arrived roughly simultaneously, California-stop that shit and blow through. Nor can you inexplicably, while waiting for your turn, decide to gun it as though your 10 seconds of waiting are more important than anyone else’s. I hope you get hit by a large truck.
[/QUOTE]

I concur.

5

I don’t think I have ever seen 3 or more people at the same stop sign all go through it legally and safely. That bugs me a lot more than someone forgetting to turn their signal off.

6

It is, of course, obligatory to mention people who talk in theatres.

To which I would add people who use their mobiles in theatres, be it to call, text, or just surf the internet (why did you come to the movie then?!).

7

Can we add ‘People who need more than one lane to make a turn’? I’m talking about the little left drift some asshats do when turning right. Or when people in the 2nd lane decide they’re going to make that right turn from somewhere in the middle of both lanes so they conveniently block both of them.

How about ‘People who are unable to keep their vehicle inside the lane markers’.

Or ‘People who constantly use their brakes on the highway’.

8

People who stop when exiting an escalator or revolving door. I want to send these people to their special place myself.

Entitled people, who when they see a “walking” side and a “standing” side to an escalator, choose to stand on the walking side rather than wait. (Not surprisingly, the side standing still has a longer wait as people move faster on the walking side).

Idiots who don’t understand it is easier to fill a bus from rear to front, especially when SRO; they stop in the front and force everyone to wiggle by. Even worse when their fellow nimrods decide wiggling pass is a waste of effort, and the front third of the bus is like a sardine can while the rest is sparsely populated. Same goes for entrances on subways.

Red Sox fans, people who put ketchup on hot dogs, and BMW drivers. 'Nuff said.

9

A couple of months ago I came to a four way stop with two other cars. It was text book: Driver on the far “right” came through first, then the next, then me. I almost wept that I was blessed to see this thing of beauty at least once in my life.

ETA: I was responding to Mosier’s post #5.

10

[QUOTE=broomstick3]
I concur.
[/QUOTE]

I grew tired of reading your response and finally, gave up.

Let’s add - people who write long winded statements in the straight dope but refuse to break it up into paragraphs!

11

That final word is not needed. People. That’s who needs to get to hell!

12

[QUOTE=D_Odds]
People who stop when exiting an escalator or revolving door. I want to send these people to their special place myself.
[/QUOTE]

I must have done something wrong when I was alive and sent to hell already. All these idiots are always just ahead of me. This is my hell. Maybe because I never used turning signals…

13

In keeping with the driving theme…

People who drive right at the speed limit in the fast lane.

Four words Slower Traffic Keep Right.

It is not up to you how fast I decide to drive, you are not the freeway police. they have actual, honest-to-god police for that.

I drive from Denver To Colorado Springs and back every day, and there are invairiably two or thee of these “volunteers” on every trip. If you have several cars lining up behind you, just get over. If you are passing someone, you CAN accelerate through the pass without breaking the law.

If I decide to drive five miles an hour over the posted limit, I accept that there may be tickets and higher insurance fees in my future. I don’t need you saving me from myself!

Whew. I feel much better now.

14

[QUOTE=CynicalGabe]
-Don’t use their turn signals. Fuck, people, that little lever on the side of your steering column wasn’t stuck on there randomly by a drunken assembly-line worker in Detroit. It has a purpose!
[/QUOTE]

This particular circle of hell has a basement, and it’s for people who do this at four way stops. :mad:

15

The turn signal thing irks me to no end. They’re targeting “aggressive” drivers here in NJ, so even going 1 mile over the speed limit can get you bagged. I would like to see these turn signal jackasses lumped into the “aggressive” category.

VCNJ~

16

[QUOTE=D_Odds]
People who stop when exiting an escalator or revolving door. I want to send these people to their special place myself . . . .

Red Sox fans, people who put ketchup on hot dogs, and BMW drivers. 'Nuff said.
[/QUOTE]
A-to-the-New-York-Men, brother(?).

And go to hell, all of you who must walk down the exact middle of the sidewalk. It’s as if you took a tape measure and checked the amount of space on each side of you. This goes for you by yourself or, rather and, especially if you’re with your cellphone-chattin’, muffin-topped, foot-slidin’ grrrrlfriends.

Maybe there was no one else out when you began today’s streetwalking session, but, guess what? There’s a distinct possibility (did I mention I live in New York?) another pedestrian might happen along at, ohhh, any moment now and want to use the sidewalk, either to get past you, or move in the opposite direction.

Fire’s been around a few decades now. Understanding two-way pedestrian traffic shouldn’t be that difficult a stretch.

And if you’re eating a hotdog with catsup on it while blocking the sidewalk, I’m throwing the whole can of lighter fluid on the flames. :stuck_out_tongue:

17

Drivers who pull into the cross walk.
Drivers who park at the bus stop. I’m always leaning on the driver’s door when they get back to their car.

And people on the phone who ask for someone’s number and, when I start t give it to them, say “Wait till I fnd a pen and paper.”

18

[QUOTE=D_Odds]

Red Sox fans
[/QUOTE]

You misspelled Yankees.

19

[QUOTE=fachverwirrt]
You misspelled Yankees.
[/QUOTE]

I’d be right there with you on that, but I live in a town full of Sox fans.

These people jam up the subway cars with themselves, their big foam rubber hands, and their breaths like distilleries.

Special place in hell for drivers that look out for other cars, but not pedestrians. I almost had to save someone the other day because of this. She was crossing a side street and was about to walk in front of a car that was waiting for a break in traffic. The driver had his head turned to the left, and when he got a break, he gunned it without looking forward. The pedestrian was almost in front of him before realizing, hey, asshole alert.

20

[QUOTE=yanceylebeef]
<snip>
It is not up to you how fast I decide to drive, you are not the freeway police. they have actual, honest-to-god police for that.

I drive from Denver To Colorado Springs and back every day, and there are invairiably two or thee of these “volunteers” on every trip. If you have several cars lining up behind you, just get over. If you are passing someone, you CAN accelerate through the pass without breaking the law. <snip>
[/QUOTE]

Funny, I got pulled over on that stretch of road on Friday. It’s MUCH worse between Santa Fe and Los Alamos every day, though. I wish I had a paintball gun that could shoot messages. It’d say, “Let me pass on your left, and you won’t get shot up, fucker!”

Anyway, the conversation at the traffic stop went something like this:

Cop: You know you were going 80 in a 65?

Me: Sorry, officer, I thought it was a 75?

Cop: It was 75 when you passed me, but it changes to 65 at the top of the hill. Blah, blah blah. So, what year’s this car?

Me: '06

Cop: This baby wants to run, doesn’t it?

Me: Sure does!

Cop: Just keep it under control.

Me: Yes, sir, I understand.

I got a verbal warning. :smiley: