During the intros, when he was practically beating on his chest and saying “numero uno,” I said “I hate them already.”
And like that <poof> they’re gone.
I’m not wild about that super early elimination. A team ought to at least get a free trip to Japan out of the deal. Do they still have to go to Sequesterville; ten minutes of Race, three weeks cooped up on an island somewhere?
If they can’t “read” the fricking clue they don’t deserve a free trip to Japan.
Based on the intros, they were the one team that I really didn’t like. I was glad they were elminated.
I enjoyed this episode more than any so far. The Japanese Game show audience members were a hoot. Herding the ducks was fun to watch also.
Eh. Just from their intro video I hated them already. Sure, they could have acted differently during the actual race, but in just 30 seconds I was already sick of them. One less dating/engaged/couple team, the better.
And we see more AWESOME editing from the TAR folks…
First:
–It is established that Sam and Dan, the gay brothers, aren’t telling anyone they’re gay for the time being, hoping to snow some female players into helping them.
– It is established that Tiffany and Maria, the professional poker players, aren’t telling anyone that they’re poker players for the time being and claiming to work for a foundation to help the homeless, thinking that will garner sympathy from the other players.
–Zev tells us that he has Aspberger’s Syndrome and therefore has difficulty with social interactions and “isn’t a people person.”
Then:
–One of the poker players says that part of being a good poker player is being able to read people. Then goes on to say that they’re starting to “fall in love with” Sam and Dan.
–Zev says that he thinks the poker players probably don’t really work to help the homeless because he just doesn’t get that helpful vibe off of them.
I just thought the whole thing was hilarious.
So far, I’m rooting for The Duck Whisperer and his buddy.
And that father/son team shall from now on be known as “Pinky and the Brain.”
That’s really low. The poker players must die.
But every team has an official picture that gets used at U-Turns and such. Their picture was on the Speed Bump sign, and it looked like it showed the two of them sitting at a poker table. I think their cover would have been blown one way or another.
Narf!
I agree 100%
Why should a Miss America, or already wealthy basketball players get to race----They have already had thier time in the spotlight, and the show should stick with giving average people a chance to compete…
Garrett was a real asshole at the end, shoving that local man, causing him to drop his moped. It’s not like another team could have snuck in front of him for the win. He should have stopped to apologize to that man.
I don’t have a problem with the poker player’s lie, but they will have a tough time beating any of the other teams, let alone basketball pros. There is one all female team and four all male teams and this season looks very physical. Things don’t look good for the old couple, either.
You left out the best part. One person recognized one of the poker players and told other teams, so now several teams know who they are and what they did, inluding the brothers.
I agree with this in principle but, even with all those Emmys, TAR is one of the lowest-ranked reality shows out there, and it’s pretty expensive to produce, so they need to do whatever they must to get eyeballs in front of the television. And honestly, they’ve never really had casts of all “average” people anyway, except maybe the first season. Nobody wants to see me on television for 13 weeks. There is always a fair sprinkling of models and actors and has-beens and once-weres. A former Miss America and two Harlem Globetrotters are at least not wholly repulsive, unlike some of the options they could have come up with.
(And according to the Intarwebz, those poker players likely make WAY more money than the Globetrotters – Globetrotters’ salaries are public information, but it doesn’t look like they make millions.)
I do. I <heart> you.
I agree with **Robot Arm **(sending you a PM, by the way) that Eric crowing that they would be “numero frickin’ uno” was annoying (hence my threats of throat-punching), but immediate elimination is kind of dumb. Yet, hilariously entertaining when it’s someone like that.
I think that I know far too much already about Mika and Canaan’s chasteness (um, honey? Yeah you in the tank top and loads of eye makeup. He does too want to have sex with you. He might also want to pray with you, but only as foreplay.)
My husband referred to Pinky as “Juggalo Farmer.” Unfortunately I heard it initially as “gigolo farmer” and my eyes bled.
Finally, love Zev. Love him. He reminds me of Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love (and Marcy reminds me of Sally Field when she played Abby’s bipolar mother on ER, and the non-asian poker play reminds me of Sandra Bullock and Brian reminds me of Ryan Stiles) but more endearing. When he started with the ducks I said, “What is he, the Duck Whisperer?” and lo and behold, his partner said it right after me.
Anyhow, great start to the season. The game show was just awesome. eeeeeat the wasabiiiiiii.
Sushi Roulette was so much fun!!! Japanese game shows are a hoot.
Herding ducks was hilarious too. Which bitch told her partner to quit talking to her? And The Duck Whisperer. Wasn’t he the one that gave his jacket away, too?
Good times, good times.
I <3 TAR!
My official eye-candy for the season is the gay brothers (there IS a market for incest pr0n…) and Matt (the pink-haired farmer). Lance is buff but he’s also butt, and I can’t find myself harboring any hidden lust because of his personality. Oh, also eyecandy: Zev’s partner whose name I can’t recall. Cute little cub.
I’m also finding Marcy entertaining. I mentioned to supervenusfreak that she’s Tina Fey in 15 years, and he said, “No. She’s Liz Lemon in 15 years.” And he’s right!
Poker players bug. It’s really not a good sign when you’re bickering with your teammate so early, especially if you’re bickering so much that it’s getting camera time. There’s a lot of Poke, Poke, Blame being played in that dynamic.
Mixed reviews: Miss America is giving equal time to bitchface and entertaining. If I were her hubby and she started screaming at me in “encouragement” the way she did with the wasabi bomb, I’d be looking up lawyers when we got home. But her general performance with the ducks kind of made up for that. Too funny…“Stop in the name of love!”
That was Jessica, one of the team that went home (or into sequesterville, anyway).
And yes, Zev was the one who gave the busdriver his jacket.
I had the same thought. They were bitching at each other before they got out of LAX.
I’m liking Sam and Dan, Meghan and Cheyne, and Gary and Matt. I like the Harlem Globetrotters, too. I expect them to go far.
Goddamn, what a solid episode!
I was really put off with the insta-elim, but I didn’t like the homie-talking zen-hippies and it was a task that required brains so, fair enough (plus A)it saved them a flight to Japan and B) I read somewhere that there’d been cop trouble with the last few shows during the race to the first airport)
The tasks were all fun–ok, the wasabi thing would have been lame, but it was on a weird Japanese game-show, so that made it ok–just eating it from a street vendor or something wouldn’t have been as good.
The duck-herding thing was fun too and took some skill. I was suprised at how how much the husbands of the last 3 people were melting down.
Contestant-wise, they’re trying to make the beefy-lawyer into the bad-guy, but so far, other than banter/bickering with his wife, he’s been fine. I’m deeply not impressed with gambling chicks–wasabi shouldn’t make you cry. It’s really not all that bad. Get over it you wuss.
I was surprised that I enjoyed the dad/son team (I hate “Let’s work out issues with this race” teams as a rule*) but frankly the “We’ve got issues” thing didn’t seem to be an issue at all. I wonder if they made it up?
The aspburger’s guy and his buddy? Eh. Another “I’ve got something to prove” team, but it hasn’t been harped on (yet) so…
Finally, the Globetrotters are fun. Go guys! But Amazing Producers? I’m already sick of hearing “Sweet Georgia Brown” and it’s only 2 hours into your 15-ish hour season. Stop playing the tune each time they’re on screen. Thank you.
I think the reintroduction of “alpha-male teams” into the race is a huge step in the right direction. The last few races, they’ve been so desperate to have an all female team win that they haven’t allowed any “alpha male team” to join and have progressively dumbed down the tasks. Hopefully this marks a return to real, interesting and tough tasks.
*Fat CIA dad and hawt daughter (Hera) were the exception
Agree enthusiastically on both points.
Both of those were enormous amounts of fun to watch. Kind of bummed that it was a non-elimination, so the clueless, self-absorbed, utterly lacking in people skills team that lost their audience members wasn’t eliminated – two-hour penalty, pfft, not good enough.
Excellent summary. Hope the poker players are around for a while, because they’re so much fun to … not even hate, just “have contempt for.”
Agree on both points.
Love this show – looks like a great season!
If I’m not your partner, I’d totally want to watch you race. 
I don’t have any particular favorites yet, although I’m really happy to see that somebody besides myself immediately started thinking of Sam and Dan as the Gay Winchesters (thanks, jsg!). I dislike Lawyerman, but that’s about it so far.
I’ve been so barely-interested in the last couple seasons that I haven’t even really visited the boards about it. But I vow to pay attention this year. Or something.
Yes. yesyesyesyesyes. Yes.
We only watched the first hour, will catch the 2nd off of Tivo tonight. But I sort of pity the people who ate multiple wasabi bombs- they’re gonna burn on the way out more than on the way in.
On your marks…get set…stay safe…eyebrow pop…FIRST EPISODE! Or, actually, the first two episodes played back-to-back, which was a bit disappointing, because I was hoping for a more thorough introduction to the Race and teams, and a few more tasks to mix it up, before the first Pit Stop. Nonetheless, a pretty good leg or two to start the season out.
I loved the fake Japanese gameshow (my wife was giggling the whole time), and although I thought it was rather unfair to delay the start until all the teams were there (thus wiping out time advantages from any actual Racing up til that point), it was still pretty fun. And animal tasks are always good for weeding out the weepy spazzy teams. If they could only have worked in a task where the locals throw shit at the Racers, it would have been an aweson trifecta.
So anway, with two Pit Stops already completed, I’m not seeing any clear favorites among the teams. Clear dogs, yes (and sometimes those are the most fun), but no one who’s clearly better. That might make for an excellent season. Or not. Any way, time for the first in-season
Taxi Assessment:
Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice.
Eric and Lisa (TD: Hippy blonde couple) (down from "Rapido!) - Numero fricken’ uno! If only all trash talk was rewarded so quickly and accurately. Be careful what you wish for. So the “twist” here was eliminating a team at the beginning of the episode rather than the end. Ho hum. At least this task was designed to eliminate the team with the fewest brain cells between them, and it looks like it was designed properly. When Phil revealed the “twist,” my wife asked me which team I thought was going down. I said Lance & Keri; she picked Eric & Lisa. Although my guess wasn’t bad, it looks like I gotta get her input more often.
Garrett and Jessica (TD: Dark-haired couple) (down from “Stopping”) - An animal task takes down a highly strung couple once again. Eh. This team didn’t get any real screen time, save at the end before elimination, so I can’t say that much about them, but I’m thinking this was a just and righteous elimination.
Flat Tire - or, not likely to get anywhere soon.
Maria and Tiffany (TD: Brunettes) (down from “Stopping”) - Yeah, Maria & Tiffany actually did pretty well on the second half of this episode, powering into the middle of the pack after a last-place finish and a non-Elimination at the Pit Stop, with the attendant Speed Bump and an added two-hour penalty. But the penalty was completely wiped out at the airport (with later bunching due to hours of operation), and the Speed Bump task was embarassingly easy, so their rise in placement was more due to Tiffany not being a spazz with the ducks than anything else. So I’m basing this ranking on their poor performance in the first half, their intra-team bickering, and their questionable decision to claim to be some sort of homeless shelter workers rather than poker players. Lying to other teams for essentially no gain is never a good strategy–you don’t need other teams’ goodwill, but you don’t need a fork to eat with, either. It just makes the task easier. Maria & Tiffany just aren’t as clever as they think they are.
Mika and Canaan (TD: Tenneseean couple) (down from “Stopping”) - This team has the worst average placement of all the teams not yet eliminated (tied with Maria and Tiffany, actually). I hate to say this, but Mika looks like she’s going to be just about worthless on this Race, and Canaan isn’t a lot better. Their youth and lack of experience are showing, and it’s not good. Prediction: utter breakdown in two episodes, tops. Look for a last-place showdown between the evil dark-haired poker players and the pure and virginal southern blonds.
Stopping for Gas - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign.
Marcy and Ron (TD: Old people) (holding steady) - The token old people did a little better than I thought they would, which honestly wasn’t that hard. Plus their relatively good first-leg finish was the result of roulette luck, something you can’t count on in every episode. And I don’t think Marcy can keep up the enthusiasm through another ten greuling episodes.
Brian and Ericka (TD: Inter-racial couple) (down from “Passing”) - This team performed way under my pre-season expectations. On paper, they look a lot smarter and more complementary than they turned out to be. I like that Brian (apparently) was the one who came up with the idea of paying their bus driver to leave early–it turned out not to matter, but was definitely a good idea at the time. However, the duck-wrangling turned ugly fast, and I don’t think a performace like that this early in the Race bodes well. I think they hang around for another few episodes at least, based on nothing more than CBS’s spin on their story, but they don’t look anywhere near final three material.
"Rapido! Por Favor?" - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger.
Sam and Dan (TD: Brothers) (down from “Passing”) - Sam & Dan haven’t really shown me much of anything yet. They look good on paper, and they did substantially improve from one Pit Stop to another (9th to 2nd). But they’re already getting on each other’s nerves: that might be bad…or, with brothers, it might not be a big deal. I’m reserving judgment for a bit, and leaving this team here in the middle of the pack.
Zev and Justin (TD: Buddies) (holding steady) - Zev & Justin are doing surprisingly well, I think. There was one oopsie where Justin lost his clue, but that was immediately and easily rectified. Justin was the first (and perhaps, in the first bunch, the only) person to spot the license plate symbol on the clue. I also admit that I’m liking this team more than I thought I would. That’s not saying a lot, really, but so far they’re surprisingly likable, and I’m happy it’s not the other way around. Another good finish out of them and I’ll move them up a notch.
Gary and Matt (TD: Dad & son) (holding steady) - It’s hard to judge this team. They finished low in the first leg, but smoked the second leg in a series of farmer-related tasks. It’s nice to have relevant experience. The relevant experience, however, makes it hard to judge how good they really are. For right now I’m leaving them here in the middle, but the next episode should be quite telling, particularly if they get a series of city-boy tasks.
In the Passing Lane - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably.
Lance and Keri (TD: Dark-haired couple that wasn’t eliminated) (up from “Rapido!”) - According to my calculations, Lance & Keri actually had the best two-leg run. They were tied in average placement with a couple other teams (Zev & Justin and Meghan & Cheyne), but unlike the other two teams, landed in the top four on both legs. So statistically this is the best team… but truthfully I’m not sure they can keep it together all the way through the Race. Their near-Elimination at the beginning should be indicative of…something. A character flaw, I’m sure. However, they recovered nicely, and they’re smart and strong, and it looks like they’ll be around for a number of episodes yet.
Meghan and Cheyne (TD: Other blonde couple) (holding steady) - A first place finish; that’s good. A disappointing drop to sixth; that’s not. The drop was due to Meghan’s duck-wrangling, but I note she did perfectly fine on her next chance, not losing her cool at all. They almost screwed themselves by not booking a Vietnam flight online, but it worked out all right (and they would have been saved by later hours of operation anyway). So all in all, I’m still bullish on this team, because I think they’re showing great teamwork and not a lot of negatives. I’m leaving them here in the upper rankings, because I think they’ll rebound with good placements in the next few weeks.
Herbert and Nathaniel (TD: Basketball Players) (holding steady) - Speaking of rebound…Harlem Globetrotters! OK, yeah, I’m gonna be overly sympathetic to this team for as long as they stay in it. But I might not have to be: they look good on paper, they’re faring pretty well so far, and, let’s face it: If I’m sympathetic to a couple Harlem Globetrotters, so are umpity-million other people out there in airports and cafes and hotels and cabs. The Globetrotters didn’t kick everyone elses’s butts, but they were safely in the upper rankings, which was no worse than any other team, and they should be able to cruise for a while.
Cruisin’ with Earl - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt.
No one for a few weeks yet. Wait for the real losers to shake out.
[sub]Props to Mullinator and his Raj Ratings.[/sub]