Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Damn damn damn double-damn.
Effing Weavers.
Good thing I stopped watching the series. I would have to stop again…
(But the Godlewskis *did * get all bitchy and waste a lot of time.)
Heh…considering the rather sprightly package Phil was sporting this ep, that sounds a lot dirtier than you intended.
I hope Rolly loses his balance when he tries to hop that fence next week and eliminates and chance he may have of procreating.
Oooh. That sentence is sending me right to Hell. I’ll save you all seats.
I need no more proof that there is a God, and his adversary rules the earth…
I want them to go to California next week. And be driving down whatever route follows the San Andreas fault. And have the whole thing go kablooey. And just have the Weavers fall in and the earth close back over them. I’d pay good money.
OK, y’all. In preparation for next week’s episode, I am pulling out all the stops. For the next six days and 23 hours, I will not wear orange or blue. I will not use Pert shampoo or watch the Bengals play football. I will not drive a Buick or sleep in a camper. Because anything I do that the Bransens or the Linzes have done will be bad luck.
Oh … and I’m going to need the following items, to make a voodoo doll Weaver family: a Brillo pad and a piece of leather (representing Linda’s hair and facial skin); a stuffed skunk and a pair of mangy old underdrawers (representing Rebecca’s hair and choice of shorts); a Barbie doll and a lemon (representing Rachael’s irrational fear of attractive women and her sour bitchface); and a rubber chicken and a dunce cap (representing Rolly). I know dunce caps are hard to find these days, so if we have to we can use a birthday party hat, or we can make one out of a paper plate.
Seriously, you guys. If the Weavers win this thing, I will lose my everlovin’ shit, so help me God.
Oh, and Draelin? Let’s carpool on the way to hell, hmm?
I think that showing him on TV will take care of eliminating any chance he has of procreating.
Outside the family, anyway.
Linda Weevil line du jour: “Turtle Ranch? Oh, that’s where they make lots and lots of turtles!”
What a dope!
The Weevils MUST NOT WIN!
Ah, so that explains the collective scream I heard around 9:55 this evening while TiVo-ing the show. I too was hopeful that the cop would be the Weavers’ downfall…until I realized, we saw it in the preview last week. Which therefore makes it meaningless. :smack:
Ok, this is now officially the Worst Season Ever. Not because of the annoying teams…not because of the lame-ass tasks…but because we’ve spent FOUR FREAKING LEGS in the same general area!! Yes, I know Arizona and Montana are thousands of miles apart, but the West is the West, it’s all pretty much the same. I’m so sick of the ranches and campgrounds and more ranches and more campgrounds and hooking up your wagon to a walking glue factory…and don’t forget the bloody product placement with the Buick Golf Cart. With OnStar, even. Good Lord Almighty.
TAR has always been about diversity, how the show can go from downtown Paris to the middle of the Sahara Desert to getting your butt pinched on an overcrowded train in India, all in a matter of weeks. This season started out pretty good with the first U.S. leg and the side trip to Central America, but once they spent two straight weeks in Utah, it’s gotten dull dull DULL.
At least the GabbleGabbleskis are gone. If G-d must decree that the Weevils stay in this until the finish line, I would’ve picked them to vote off. And I definitely saw curling in the preview, which can only mean one thing for their next destination…Canada! Another country AT LAST!!
Yikes! That image is gonna replace the white whale in my nightmares!
Man, for the night of, this thread is mighty damn quiet.
This has hit a lot of people really hard, hasn’t it?
At least if it couldn’t be the Weasels, it was Godlewskis, right?
Right?!?
I mean, Killer Fatique was approaching Broken Ox levels on that team, and they had rendered themselves completely incapable of taking advantage of the several bunching and close-sequencing points on this one.
Chin up, folks.
One of two things is going to happen.
A - The Weasels don’t win. Predictable really, as they are the team with the next highest level of Killer Fatigue. God will allow them to build themselves up, and then cast them low. It’s in Revelations, people!
B- The Weasels DO win. Take a moment… OK. Not what we’d have wished, but we must remember that the other teams reputedly get some sort of secret tiered reward. Plus, while the Linzes didn’t do so well for themselves in the first-finisher category, it’s their own fault, and Wally and co. (who are now my favorites to win it all, BTW) now have a free car to go with that lifetime of free gas, which, ten years from now, is probably going to be worth a hell of a lot more than a million. Meanwhile, we’ll get to see a minor headline about 7 months down the road that the Weasels have spent themselves into the poor house.
So that’s all there is to it. One or the other.
All this bitching isn’t going to get you anywhere, really, and you’re all starting to sound like Flo:
(Emphases mine)
Hey, the preview showed some Linzes curling! Yay!
<snerk> I almost wonder if Rolly Weaver and DJ Paolo are going to have to start a support group for themselves. I can just picture the first meeting: “Hello, my name is DJ, and I’m a jerk who mistreated my mother on national television and now I’ll never get laid.” And then Rolly will make fun of him for being the son of a garbageman and throw trash at him.
Which, incidentally, strikes me as ironic: Rolly’s dad was killed when he was clearing debris – picking up garbage. And yet they make fun of Papa Paolo for doing the same thing? Are the Weavers *really * so clueless as to not see the parallels there? My goodness, I really loathe them.
Finally an elimination, and the final three.
The Back Seat Report
"Over the River and Through the Woods…" - or, songs, happiness, and lots of familial love.
The Linzes (holding steady): Anything can happen in the finale, and luck will play a large part, so all the teams have a chance to win. The Linzes, though, seem to have an edge over the other two–they’re certainly more physical than the other two teams, they’re less affected by the stress, and they seem to have gotten over their early propensity to make mental errors. Yes, they did miss a golf ball, dropping them a notch, but I can hardly get worked up over missing something on these “finding”-type tasks.
"Daddy’s driving right now, hon." - or, a little tension and impatience, but still far from the breaking point.
The Bransens (holding steady): Clearly the Linzes’ biggest competition, although just as clearly less physical. The producers have constantly shown Wally as slow and dragging…which makes me suspicious that we might see a slo-mo footrace to the finish, complete with “Chariots of Fire” music, where Wally just edges Megan Linz for the million.
"Are we almost there yet?" - or, some whining and dissent, but no more than you’d expect.
The Weavers (up from “Janie”): They are in the final three, so I’ve gotta move 'em up, but the Weavers seem more likely to crack and do something way stupid (like taking the scenic route) than the other teams. It’s too bad this season isn’t as challenging as previous ones (they get trailers to sleep in, fer Chrissake!), or I think we would have seen some wackier behavior from the Weavers. Anyway, I’m surprised they took the tepee Detour, given their familiarity with horses–bad decision on their part, and a bit of luck that the Gollewskis did the same thing.
"Dad… Janie’s on my side again!" - or, conflict, bad feelings, things just not going right.
No one this week.
"Dad… Jimmy made poopy-pants in the back seat." - or, near disaster, and a whole lot of clean-up required before getting back on the road.
No one this week.
"ALL RIGHT, I’M TURNING THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW!" - or, out of the Race and on their way home.
The Godlewskis (down from “Almost there”): Yeah, bickering and fighting and not looking for golf balls didn’t help, but the sisters lost this week because they picked the wrong Detour. Had they gone with the horse and wagon, they would have left the Weavers behind. Well, I give credit to the Godlewskis: they made it to the final four. However, their performance has been slowly getting worse, and I don’t think the elimination surprised them at all. Go sisters; gabble on!
For the rest of the teams, I’ll leave you with a word association:
The Paolos: Bicker. Garbageman. DJ. Mama.
The Gaghans: Wee.
The Schroeders: Goth. Lost.
The Aiellos: Inlaws.
The Rogerses: Father. Prick.
The Blacks: Eliminated.
Next week: The finale! At last! Also Canada, which makes it doubly exciting. Hopefully they have to drive, like, two thousand miles across Canada, and the Weavers drive, like, 52 miles per hour and the other teams travel 55 miles per hour (only it would be in kilometers per hour, of course), and the Weavers pull in two hours behind.
[sub]Props to Mullinator.[/sub]
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that. My mother would be soooo ashamed.
Y’know, it occurred to me this morning that the Godlewskis’ biggest problem was that all four sisters were pretty much the same person. They’re kind of like the “Spice Sisters.” I mean, there are degrees there - Michelle is MeanySis and Christine is ChattySis and Sharon is SnippySis and Tricia is SportySis - but they’re pretty much all the same. And when you spend that much time in the car with yourself? Yeah, things come unglued, often pretty quickly.
I mean, if I had done this show with my mom and my sisters? Back in Pennsylvania, we’d have let loose a string of curse words that would still be hanging somewhere over Lake Wallenpaupack to this day. (That’s one of the Great Lakes, y’know. “Wallenpaupack” is Indian for “great.”) Because we’d be the MommyOne, the YoungestOne, the FavoriteOne, and the OldestOne, but we’d still all be the same, and it drives us all nuts.
If not for that unpleasantness with the Huntsville Space Center way back when, I think Aiellos would still be in this, and perhaps not the Weavers. I think the Aiellos were a lot more entertaining, in a much less “good-God-NO!” sort of way.
Shhh…listen…silence. WooHoo! The Desperate Housewives and their ear-splitting decibels are gone. I’ll miss that cute one with the pigtails that sat in the middle, but WoohOO! At least the Paolos were entertaining. That one that was driving the BUICK golf cart (Wasn’t that a nice golf cart?) annoyed the crap out of me. And so it goes.
Linzs didn’t get lost for maybe the first time all season, and finished 2nd for maybe the 45th time this season. Mom Weaver just now realized she looks bad?? Here’s a hint, Sinead O’Connor, circa 1995. Bransens–did the Bransen girls strip down to their underpants for the photo shoot?? Damn, shoulda taped it. Looks like Wally is gonna open up a can of Whoop-Ass next week. That oughta be funny.
Montana greeter. Nice red shirt, seems like the kinda guy who could rustle up some cattle, mend a fence, and do shots of Jack for dinner. Wasn’t scared to be there, but most of the scaries are gone. B+
Curling? Do they end up in Miiiinnesoooota, or dread, Wisconsin after all?? (No! Stay away, disaster follows you everywhere, stay away! ) I can’t see the Weavers curling. I can’t see them doing anyting outside of their little house where they have to worry about people looking at them.
End, season, end!
I think one of my favorite parts of the preview was the shot of the Weaver girls on the ice in their tiny shorts. I hope they freeze.
I will be warm in Hell.
I really hope Sheriff Andy fired Barney for letting the Weavers off with a warning. Effing Weavers
I hope the cop is a Race fan and realized that he let The Ultimate Evil off with a warning.