American Ninja Warrior

Cafe Society
421

My guess is that this was a total fluke. Doorknob Grasper, more than just about anything else we’ve ever seen, was something that a lot of really talented ninjas failed on once, then learned their lesson, then beat on their second attempt. No reason to think that was part of some cunning master plan.

I think we’ll have to wait a few more weeks before we have any real idea whether the city finals are easier, or whether this was a fluke. The baton thing, in particular, ended up hardly weeding anyone out (it seemed), which one would not expect from a 9th obstacle. But it’s hard to imagine they always really know how hard something is going to end up being.

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I disagree. Think of Kevin Bull and Flip, the two most prominent ninjas who failed on this obstacle, or Tiana, the only female to crack the top thirty. In qualifiers, all three of these people fell in the water when the obstacle dropped. It wasn’t the twisting knobs or the board transition or the reach that got them, it was the jarring drop. In the city finals, the jarring drop was removed from the obstacle. Instead, the obstacle eased downwards very smoothly and gradually. It wasn’t a matter of learning their lesson, it was a matter of the obstacle changing. Last season, they would alter some obstacles to make them easier, but it was still the same obstacle. For instance, you might have two fly wheels instead of three. They never made the entire obstacle easier (please correct me if I’m wrong).

I suspect the addition of the mega wall is why they did this. They made the qualifiers harder so that less people would win money. Since no money is involved in the city finals, I suspect this is a trend that will carry over to the other finals courses. And honestly, I did enjoy the mega wall, so maybe I just have to learn that I can’t have my cake and eat it too.

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Upon reflection, I might be wrong about Tianna in my last post. But I still stand behind the rest of what I said.

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My recollection of qualifiers was that Flip, at least, got his hands crossed up, such that he was trying to reach up to the last handle with crossed arms, or something awkward like that.

It’s also possible that there’s something slightly more complicated going on. For instance, in quals maybe the mechanics were such that the drop would vary greatly in jerkiness between different ninjas, and they wanted it to be as consistent and fair as possible, which had the side effect of making it easier for everyone. No idea.
That said, if it just turned out to be way too hard, I don’t see anything wrong with making it a bit easier. City Finals is going to be a boring show if only a handful of people make it to the new obstacles, and before anything else, ANW is a commercial TV show.

425

One of the lousy things about having such a tiny range of Acceptable Stories is that…well, there are going to be some really bad examples. Case in point, Jeremiah Morgan. Let’s be clear about this: He nearly died because HE DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID. Anytime you goddam know there’s something with current running through it, you don’t just casually pull it out of the way with your bare hands. If you’re really smart, you shut off the power, and at the absolute minimum, protect your hands! Good lord, there’s a veritable cottage industry on the internet devoted to mocking idiots who nearly get themselves killed, and here we’re expected to treat this as some inspirational tale of courage. Let’s be clear, he didn’t nearly lose his life to a drunk driver, or an abusive father, or unsafe conditions at work, or being in the wrong place when the stadium riot broke out. His brush with death was completely his own fault and completely preventable, and that he’s still alive is pure dumb luck (oh, and fantastic medical treatment). Hardly inspiring.

On top of that, I’m getting really, really tired of contestants using personal tales of woe to push ideologies that range from iffy to reprehensible. Case in point, Brittany Hanks. Yes, growing up in poverty is a terrible thing. Yes, it’s truly terrible that not all children in this country get an equal chance. There are reasons for this, many of them rooted in our long history of systemic injustice and our pathetic track record on caring for our least fortunate. If she was conscientious, she’d acknowledge this. Instead she all but spits on government assistance, treating food stamps as all but shameful, not so subtly hinting that anyone who gets jealous of well-off kids growing up is a whiner, and finally very strongly implying that all you have to do is Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps and everything will get all better. Goddammit, the endless chants and moronic signs and constant screaming weren’t irritating enough, we needed a fricking LIBERTARIAN? And of course, why not conveniently ignore the fact that the vast, vast majority of our lowest class don’t have luxury of waiting two weeks in line to participate in a contest that pays jack squat. Gah. Look, guys, it’s one of the unwritten rules of sports: If you talk trash, you’d better be ready to back it up. And I have zero respect for this woman until she backs up her preaching with ACTION, an actual effort to help those in need. If Kevin Bull can raise awareness of a condition most of use had never even heard of and Flip “David” Rodriguez can champion child sex assault victims, she can volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. No excuses.

Oh, right…there was a competition tonight, wasn’t there? Well, I’m sure a lot of viewers will be relieved to learn that we’re not going to have 9 finishers every week. Things actually went as I more or less expected for a course of this difficulty: 5 finishers, 2 8-ers, and 8 7-ers. It looks like Grant McCartney was just the victim of an absolutely loaded field in Los Angeles. Dallas had mostly second-tier grinders and fresh up-and-comers; Mathis Owhadi, Andrew Swinghamer, Elliott Jolivette, Abel Gonzales, Karsten Williams. Daniel Gil was the head of the class, as expected, and Brent Steffensen remains the stubborn warhorse that refuses to give up.

Didn’t see anything especially challenging about Fallout. A little tricky, nothing more. Not surprised at all that only Thomas Stillings and Abel Gonzales went out on it. Spider Trap, unfortunately, was a non-factor. I know that these courses are a work in progress and it’s tough to nail the right mix, so I’m not going to grumble over that. I do like that the course is completely revamped for siffies, rather than just tweaking the quallies obstacles and praying there isn’t a horrible logjam at #4 or #5 this time.

Damn, I honestly didn’t think we’d ever have another no-result in siffies. The last one I remember was one of the Brazee Brohs getting the call after he thought he was out and promptly getting his elation drenched.

Oh, heads up…Barclay Stockett is “Bars” now. Keep it simple. And I just found out that the University of Houston uses “Cougars” for its team names, and Mathis Owhadi made his start with Team Ninja Warrior College Madness, he’s “Cougar” now. Yeah, I know that wor’ds connotation. I don’t care. :slight_smile:

426

For non-obvious reasons, I have listened to a few episodes of the ANW podcast. Each week, Matt and Akbar give a brief recap of the past week, but mainly do an in-depth interview with a ninja.

The most interesting one was with Isaac Caldiero. Apparently he had a BIG falling out with his former wolfpack buddies. The story, from his side, is that Brian Arnold had at one point said “hey, if one of us wins the million dollars, they should give $10K each to the rest of us”, and everyone laughed, but Isaac (he says) didn’t take it seriously, but apparently Brian (and maybe the other guys) did, and then when Isaac won, he kept all the money, and Brian started badmouthing him on social media (again, this is Isaac’s side of the story), and it basically wrecked their friendship.

Certainly would be interesting to hear Brian or Ian Dory tell it…
I find the podcast fairly interesting, although I would enjoy it more if it was slightly more focused on ninjaing (what are particularly tough obstacles? what are backstage facts that we never see while watching the show?) and slightly less on random autobiographical stories.

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I’ll probably have something longer about NBC’s narratives re. this show. For now, random tidbits about Miami siffies:

  • I’ve grudgingly come to accept the Acceptable Stories as unhappy reality, but I’m also thinking that there needs to be MORE of them, mainly because these entries are getting so banal. I’ve lost track of how many profiles boiled down to “A terrible thing happened to me. It was really terrible. I felt bad about it. I’m dedicating my run to the terrible thing that happened to me that I feel bad about.” Or “Something really good happened to me. I feel great about it. I’m happy that the really good thing happened to me. I’m going to run my heart out because I feel great about the really good thing that happened to me.” “Bow” and “ring”, if you catch my meaning. How about “I’m participating in a contest where I’ll get paid nothing as a protest against the greed of big-money sports”? That’s a workable idea they could get plenty of mileage out of.

  • I’m a bit split on Jessie Graff coming up a yard short yet again. On one hand, it’s a little dismaying as to how something, something always seems to snatch it away. This year we seemed to be seeing a return to reason, and THE INSTANT her turn comes up, they bring back freaking Step Hopper. On the other hand…if she doesn’t think it’s a big deal, maybe I shouldn’t either. Hey, she got the big ones: Stage 1 completion, unofficial Stage 2 completion, USA vs. The World title. (Oh yeah, that thing from that one All-Stars tournament; that was pretty good.) You think Hakeem Olajuwon or Shaquille O’Neal is upset at never being a champion at the college level? If making it back to Stage 1 makes her feel good, I’m not going to begrudge her happiness.

  • Was it just me, or was the energy really subdued regarding both her and Drew Dreschel? “Superstars. Accomplished so much. Woo hoo.” I get the feeling that the producers are slowly moving from “running out of patience” to “wild-eyed desperation”. “COME ON! A SICK SECOND COUSIN! A SPECIAL NEEDS CO-WORKER! A PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER! A CHILDHOOD TRAGEDY YOU NEVER TALKED ABOUT BEFORE! WE’RE DYING HERE!”

  • Whoa. Glad I never made any rash pronouncements about how easy siffies were after Los Angeles. :slight_smile: Seriously, we just have to accept that this is a work in progress. The producers want finishing to be a challenge, but not so much of a challenge that it’s effectively rendered meaningless. Not every city is going to have a decent balance of strong and weak contenders. Given how upper-body intensive this was, three seems a bit on the low side, but I wouldn’t consider it paltry.

  • Y’know, if you’re going to hype up someone as “metal”, it’d be nice to actually hear some of his damn music. No, it’s fine. This isn’t 1983, for crying out loud.

  • I used to find all this “Fantastic Four” business insufferable, but now I’m content to let it peter out on its own. Notice that we’ve hardly heard anything about The Wolfpack so far?

In all, a pretty run of the mill week. Good thing or bad thing? Dunno. Probably a bit of both.

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Poor Rachael would be the star of the show right now if Jessie Graff hadn’t stolen her thunder. Isn’t she only the fifth woman to earn a spot in the Top 15 for City Finals?

429

Just our second Spider Trap fail of siffies in 22 attempts so far, this one by Dan Polizzi. Not sure how much we should read into it, though, other than #8 and #9 taking their toll. 9 falls on Cane Lane, which surprised me a bit; I couldn’t see anything especially tricky about it, certainly not on the level of Step Hopper. Could fatigue be a factor? I notice that we’re not seeing long times anymore; the longest I’ve seen so far was something like 6:45, when over-8 minute runs used to be commonplace. It looks like the contestants are being prevented from adequately resting on the latter part, which strikes me as…odd. Either there’s a time limit or there isn’t; don’t try to have it both ways. I think a hard 9-minute time limit on siffies would work perfectly fine. As it is, I’m still hard-pressed to figure out what the point of finishing a siffie course is, when 9 obstacles is perfectly fine, and so is 8 barring some huge anomaly.

Re. showing a run during a commercial break: Gotta admit, this is pretty clever, a way to not only get everyone to watch an entire commercial break in the age of DVR but to reduce the waiweewuwwawei-ing, a must now that the runs take so long now. I wonder if the NBC has to give the advertiser a discount for this; I’m guessing it’s probably not that big. The best part, of course is that I don’t have to listen to the eternally-irritating announcers and crowd. :slight_smile:

Re. the next woman to finish a siffie: Man, you can tell that NBC really wants this. They’re trying to give the impression that (along with the obvious cool factor) it’s because of all the close calls, but the cynic in me says they’re completely fed up with Kacy Catanzaro and want to finally make a clean break with her forever. Will it happen? I’m sure it will, but we’re going to have to be a little patient. Tweb, Bars, Graff, and Clubhouse already came up short, and Martin hasn’t really been close once. We’ll probably something inspiring from one of the second-stringers like Warnky, but they don’t have the muscle or nerves for 10 obstacles. Again, when ONE tiny little slipup can end the only chance they have for the entire year, best not hold your breath for anything.

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I don’t think NBC is fed up with Kacy, I think they’re just looking to recreate that moment. From what I understand, Kacy’s run brought more attention to the show than any other run in the show’s history, including when someone actually won the whole thing. I honestly don’t think a second woman finishing the city finals course will have nearly as large of an impact, since a lot of the point of Kacy’s run was people didn’t think women (especially small women) could do the course at all until they someone kick ass at it.

Monday’s show was, in my opinion, the lowest point I’ve ever seen in terms of runner profiles. A segment on long hair; a segment on a dad drumming to cheer for his daughter; two identical segments saying “I was bullied.” I thought they were weak, but tbh, I might like the weakened version better than the tear-jerkers. Oh! Speaking of tear-jerkers, did you catch that one profile where the guy is like “I’m running for my friend who died in 2009”? I can just imagine the producers being like “Have you had a friend die recently? No? What about ever? Have you EVER had ANYONE close to you die?”

I wasn’t surprised by all the falls on cane lane. First of all, holding onto a cane is a lot harder than holding onto a horizontal bar like you do in the stair hopper. The hooked shape also requires precision, it’s not like with a hand where you can smack into it and then wrap your fingers around it. Though I was clowning around on some hooks at a ninja gym just last week, and saw how much my friend (who is good at this stuff) was struggling with it, so maybe that’s why I wasn’t surprised.

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I don’t think NBC is resentful of Catanzaro or anything, but you have to get the feeling that the narrative is really wearing on them. She’s out, she’s competing in a league they have no footing in, and she’s shown no interest in promoting ANW any further. But as long as she’s the only woman who completed a siffie, she has a hold on a piece of the event, and given that this doesn’t benefit said event any longer, you can bet that the producers would appreciate a clean break. You also gotta think that they understand on some level that '14 was a much easier course than what’s come since, so it’s a tad insulting to the current crop, who clearly outclass Catanzaro, to consider them inferiors in any way. I mean, if nothing else, the rightful passing of the crown.

I haven’t been paying that much attention to the stories; they’ve gotten so insipid that I hardly remember any of them. At this point I’m completely convinced that NBC dictates to them what to talk about. I don’t recall any discussion whatsoever about Daniel Gil’s hair prior to this year. Given that we have man with alopecia and it’s hardly an issue anymore, suddenly going “hey, Gil kinda looks like a glam rock star!” comes across as incredibly forced. As for dredging up decade-old tragedies, that’s just flat-out crass. Let the past be past, dammit. Man, we need about ten more Acceptable Stories yesterday.

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I absolutely loved the design of the cane obstacle. Something that clearly still directly relates to ninja skills (not like it was, I dunno, a dart-throwing competition), but which is also totally original. A fair number of new obstacles end up kind of running together, this one totally stood out.

Sad to see Flex not make it to the city finals buzzer. But I don’t mind Isaac Caldiero (who I was a big fan of back before he actually won) falling. I hope he gets the competitive fire and comes back firing next season, but it kinda felt like he wasn’t taking it too seriously this year… if only because of his bizarre decision to wear slacks.

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Coming in October: American Ninja Warrior Junior
I… dunno.

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Until we get further details, I’m going to be cautiously optimistic. I’ve always said that we needed some kind of lower-tier event for the less spectacular athletes (as well as a Kunoichi-esque women-specific event, but that’s probably a lost cause at this point). Provided that NBC planned this carefully, has contingency plans in place, and always remembers that they have to be easier on children than adults, I can see this becoming a success. My main concern is…Sasuke. I understand that NBC is trying to build on a successful formula, but it’s critical to never forget the actual mechanics of the contest and consider whether they’ll work for a different type of competitor.

For youth competitions, the important things are encouraging them to play fair, respect the rules, and do their best. That’s why things like participation trophies exist. If, once they enter high school, they decide they want to become real jocks and enter the world of cutthroat competition, then they can try out for a team. The vast majority of them won’t, and these children need to learn teamwork, fitness, perseverance, active lifestyle, sportsmanship, encouragement, all the fundamental skills that’ll serve them far better in life than knowing how to throw a 90mph breaking ball. And even the ones that do become athletes learn that it’s possible to make up for early mistakes and to never give up. A pitcher who gives up a home run on the first pitch of the game can keep the opposition scoreless the rest of the way and win. A boxer who gets clobbered in the first round can turn the tables and win by knockout. There are countless tales of champions who messed up early, got pushed to the brink of defeat, and then turned it completely around to win.

What happens the first time one of these impressionable youngsters goes out on the first obstacle? Or does his best but comes up just short in siffies (or whatever the equivalent is here)? “Oh, too bad, you screwed up, you suck, better luck next year.” That is a terrible message to be sending, and it also sends a terrible message to the ones that do succeed, that if your opponent ever flubs at any point, you don’t have to worry about him ever again.

Now, it does appear that it will have a definite champion for each division each season, which is a big step in the right direction. But it HAS to allow second chances. Do overs, smaller penalties, best-X-out-of-Y, whichever. It CANNOT be as merciless as Sasuke or it will be a failure.

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After the triumph of Los Angeles and the big hope of Dallas, it looks like siffies have gone back to their bad old arm-arm-arm-arm habits. Third week in a row with only 3 finishers, and it could very well have been zero if Spider Trap hadn’t replaced the absolutely hideous Invisible Ladder. Captain’s Wheel, in particular, looked way harsh, almost as bad as Roulette Cylinder. TWO men who completed only 4 obstacles are going through, joining Reko Rivera in Miami.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but if the announcers are going to blather eternally about finishing the course being required to “punch his ticket to Vegas”, they need to put up or shut up. It’s been plainly obvious to everyone with a quarter of a brain that this is BS, that 8 of 10 is plenty, and even then only if you want to be really, really sure. I say if they want finishing to mean something, they’re just going to have to use good 'ol brute force. Here’s what I’m proposing. Finish, you’re in. Don’t finish, the announcers decide if you’re good enough. That’s right, all the way or at-large, nothing in between. 9 would almost be a lock, but not quite, so there’s still a tiny speck of doubt, as there should be. And the bubble guys, the 6-7 threshhold, they’d really be sweating long after the night ended. Yeah, it’d be grossly unfair. Everything about siffies is grossly unfair. This would at least make it interesting, which as far as I’m concerned is a lot more important.

Not sure what the producers are going to do once Stage 1 rolls around and there isn’t time to do 5 chants and nobody’s waving to the crowd after every damn obstacle. Maybe they can compensate by having more screaming into the camera. That’s always a delight. :rolleyes:

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:eek:I didn’t notice that! You can probably blame the rain for that, though. From what I’ve read, there was heavy rain during the Philadelphia qualifiers/finals, and that made it hard for them to modify obstacles like they normally do between qualifiers and finals. Typically with something like the lightning bolts, they would have reduced it from 2 transfers to one, like how they reduced the number of transfers in Crank-it-Up between qualifiers and finals. Plus there’s the simple fact that torrential downpours would have made the obstacles unusually slick. I imagine we would have seen a better outcome in Philadelphia had it not been for the rain.

437

Huh. Keep forgetting to get back to this. Anyway, quick recap of siffies (all-9-8-7-6 or fewer):
Los Angeles: 9-1-5-0-0
Dallas: 5-0-2-8-0
Miami: 3-0-2-9-1
Indianapolis: 3-1-9-1-1
Philadelphia: 3-1-2-6-3
Minneapolis: 5-0-10-0-0

31.11% finished, 3.33% got 9, 33.33% got 8, 26.67% got 7, and 5.56% didn’t even make it that far but got the benefit of a weak field. Spider Trap wasn’t the gimme some of us feared, but it definitely wasn’t any kind of factor (unless there’s a prize for the best result in each siffie, which I seriously doubt). Frankly, I think NBC should just drop the pretense and make it 9 obstacles, as 8-9 is where the real contest is. Yeah yeah, if a woman completes a siffie it’s going to blah blah…listen, if Meagan Martin doesn’t consider it a huge deal, you shouldn’t either.

And on a related note, the wildcards need to come back. Yeah, the internet whined endlessly about them. The internet whines about everything. They’ll get used to it. We had our first ever 8 obstacler fail to make it through, and we nearly had a second in Minneapolis, and it was SOLELY because the fields were so grossly unbalanced, so don’t tell me this is the sort of thing that should happen. Even if the show tries to balance things (which I’ve yet to see the tiniest effort of anywhere), there’s no telling when a star breakout or that One Shining Moment is going to happen. Sports is unpredictable, and it’s a big injustice to leave Grant McCartney out due to a fluke. If way too many women get free passes, it’s not asking too much to throw McCartney a bone.

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I don’t understand your logic here at all. One of the things that I like the most about ANW is that it’s such a pure, unforgiving meritocracy.

Isaac Caldiero, the first and only ANW champion, went out in the city finals. And he was done until next year. Period. If there are wild cards, then suddenly the stakes just vanish.

Grant McCartney wasn’t the victim of some fluke or anything, he legitimately blew it and has no one to blame but himself. Fifteen people did better than him, he’s done.

439

You’re using “pure, unforgiving meritocracy” to describe a show with six completely different course setups and where two women from each city automatically make it to Stage 1. :rolleyes:

God. The only thing worse than hardassery is fake hardassery. Don’t try to play the second-place-is-for-losers card for a freaking reality show. There is always wiggle room; there is always room for tweaking, improving, or removing.

You want a meritocracy? Two words: no prelims. Everyone starts at Stage 1 like the real Sasuke. No grandstanding, fist-pumping, seductive shirt removals, or waving to the crowd after every damn obstacle, everyone’s on the clock from the first moment. This would actually be fairer, since removing the time-consuming prelims, especially siffies (there were a lot of ondacorsrainaos this year, and if anything it’s only going to increase), will give a lot more competitors a shot. On the downside, this means that nearly all the glurgy, treacly cases are going to be blink-and-you-missed it, and only the strongest competitors will get any significant air time.

And that’s why NBC will never do it. There are two things they’re trying to sell with their sports and vaguely sports-like programming: winners and inspiration. Becoming merciless lessens the former and utterly decimates the latter. ANW is their baby. They can do whatever they damn want with it. They’re not going to kill the golden goose.

Brittany Hanks is going to Vegas after completing 6 of 16 obstacles. If she deserves to go, so does Grant McCartney. And Jon Stewart. And Michael Torres. There’s no such thing as “hardass-ish”. It’s hardcore or softcore, merciless or merciful, iron or cotton. Pick one.

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Yes, the special slots for women definitely detracts from the pure meritocracy. Whether it’s a good idea or not is certainly up for debate.

But so what if there are six completely different course setups? When you go to a city, you have to go farther than all but 14 of the other competitors there. I mean, sure, maybe there are a higher concentration of tougher competitors in one city than another, but that’s no different than the Western Conference of the NBA being tougher than the Eastern Conference. People grumble about it from time to time but no one thinks it makes the NBA post-season actively unfair.

But seriously, wildcards would just mean that when Drew Dreschel or Jessie Graf was running in the city finals, there would be zero pressure. For them, or for us.

Not sure what you’re getting at

How does that make anything more or less of a meritocracy?

You seem to be saying two things:
(1) Less glurge
(2) Wildcards

Put those together and what do you get? People with glurgey stories getting wildcard berths just to keep their story going.

Everyone IS on the clock from the first moment, aren’t they? Prelims and city finals and stage 1 and stage 2 are all timed, and if you go too slow, that might knock you out. (I’m also fairly sure that competitors can pause between obstacles in the prelims and city finals, but not forever, although we never really see how this is enforced.)