America's Got Talent [season 8 thread]

Cafe Society
41

Last night’s show, I just wasn’t impressed with the singers. The lady was okay, for an amateur. Maybe the Voice has spoiled me. Sure, she was emotional, but I just didn’t get the connection. But I’ve got no problem with passing her through the first round. Same thing for the choir.

The dancish thing guy was amazing. I’ve seen the head drop trick before, and the commercials kinda spoiled that one, but he had some moves I still can’t figure out how they work. The physics doesn’t seem right. Like when he’s on the floor, kicks his leg back, and pushes himself up to his feet. Or when bending over backwards head to the floor, sliding out, then sliding back up and standing back up. That’s some talent.

The lady on the unicycle was also engaging. First, she’s on a giant unicycle, which is daunting enough. Then she starts stacking bowls on her foot and leg, balancing them and inverting them down, up, down. Then she kicks up, and catches them in a bowl on her head. She did two bowls, then three bowls, and had the judges on their feet and the crowd going wild, and that would have got her safely on to the live shows, but then she did four bowls. It just looked ridiculously impossible, and yet she did it, all flipped up and caught on her head. Wow. Will the excitement last? I don’t know, but that certainly was a good show.

I’m less impressed with the strong man act. The old guy didn’t do much of a squat. Yeah, lots of weight and he’s in his seventies, but he bobbed maybe 2 inches for his “squat”. My dad turns 73 next month and I bet he could do better. (My dad is in amazing shape.) The elbow smash of the 30 concrete blocks or whatever, meh, that’s just physics. They’re stacked with gaps and curved concrete blocks pretty much means that each block helps break the one below it, and like the World Trade Center tower collapses, after a few, the momentum keeps it going.

The tae kwon do board breakers were decent. Though I know a guy who can break a board almost as high as that one and doesn’t use a trampoline. I did kinda like the running three board kick.

The little girl stunt cheerleader was good at what she did.

42

My impressions are similar. I the three board break is definitly more impressive than the high jump, but maybe not as exciting for the crowd average crowd. The Chinese Juggling act was pretty good. I assume if she’s that good at that one trick that she must know some others. She certainly can’t win by just doing that over and over again. I may be mistaken, but that singer didn’t seem to have much range, but she was an excellent performer.

43

The weightlifter old guys? Seriously…go to any old crappy gym and you can watch this fun all day. What’s next, we watch them take a sauna and use electric sanders to remove bunions?

The choir…ohgoodlord the choir…once it was mentioned that they had anything to do with the military, I think it was a given they would get chosen to go to Vegas, even if they had just farted the tunes (which would have at least been more original). Maybe I am just too jaded, but does every act that has even an iota of reference to the US Military immediately get a free pass? They were not the worst choir in the world, but come on - any high school or church group could have sung circles around this group. I am only surprised they didn’t sing “God Bless America” and have a photomontage of crippled children and abused puppies in the background.

And the minute they announced the woman was going to sing something from Dreamgirls, you just knew it had to be this song…screech it out, girl…don’t worry about hitting those notes…just emote and wring a tear…and voila! Another Kleenex Sob Finalist makes the cut.

And what could be more fun than to watch a father toss his 5 year old daughter into the air and hope he catches her? Gee - next time put spikes on the floor to add a little more excitment! Perhaps he can juggle her with a blind kitten and a three legged puppy? What fun…certainly an act worthy of a million bucks, eh? Oh, he probably should wear a military outfit though.

Lady on unicyle…why not - they have already started a circus with the pole hand stand dude and underwater escape artist from last week. The judges all arrived in a clown car so it kind of figures.

The guy who did the Rube Goldberg stunt…those are kind of fun for a minute - sort of like watching fireworks…I would have liked this a lot more if Howie Mandel’s head had been under the bowling ball for the last part.

The only really good and original act was the dancer dude…that was pretty gravity defying stuff! My luck I would be in some musical theater production and he would be the choreographer. Still - he was certainly worthy of being chosen, and he didn’t even need to make the audience cry to do so! Imagine that!

44

Yes, definitely a sob story pass. I fastforwarded through most of the backstage conversation stuff. I figure I’ll hear the sob story on stage like the judges, I don’t need to hear it twice. Like I said above, the judges got them into the show, hopefully audience votes will weed down the sob stories later versus the actual talent acts.

Technically, the performer of that show was the girl, not the father - though he certainly plays a key role and gets a workout. But the art of the show was supposed to be her balancing and posing and tumbling, not anything the father did. That’s why she was the one in the [de]skirt[/del] costume. The thing is, that is all standard stuff for a cheerleading stunt performance, but she was very good for 5 years old. Still, that’s it’s only a few years before her novelty wears off and then she’s just a cheerleader.

And it was also triggering similar vibes to the child dancers, about poses and moves that shouldn’t be coming from little girls. YMMV.

New on NBC, the next big show: America’s Got A Circus!

I forgot about the Rube Goldberg guy. Those can be fun to watch, take forever to set up. He creates these, so that’s neat. I assume he’ll be amping it up with bigger and more creative devices as he goes on. Hey, the popsicle stick guy did pretty well.

Oh, but that guy was Mr Laidback. I mean, he could give lessons to a Vulcan. I suppose that helps in setting up all his tricks like the dominoes, no twitches or outbursts to accidentally misfire.

45

**Omega Force Strength Team **- Yeah, grandpa wasn’t going down very far for his squats and the stack of blocks collapsing was more physics than human strength. I’m a little surprised they went through.

Team Rock Karate Stunt Group - We were only shown, what, two seconds of their act?

Kyle and Darby the Amazing Five-Year-Old Cheerleader - That made me so nervous. If she fell that mat didn’t look like it would help much. She was good, but since she was only 5 I was hoping the judges would say no.

Kenichi Ebina - When he started the slow-mo dancing my immediate thought was that I’ve seen this a 1,000 times before. But then some of the moves were so awesome. I totally agree with Irishman about him.

Deanna DellaCioppa - I thought she did well. My only complaint is that I thought I heard her voice crack once on one of the notes.

Sprice - A long, complicated Rube Goldberg machine can have anything go wrong at any point, so it was suspenseful to watch. Remember the domino guy last year who’s setup didn’t work? But I don’t really see a RG machine being an attraction. Or if he won, he would have to add dancers or something, because an RG machine by itself would probably only be entertaining for about 5-10 minutes.

Rong Niu - Talk about suspense! I was on the edge of my seat as she kept kicking the bowls onto her head. And just when I thought she was done, she did it again. I really hope she has more tricks in store.

American Military Spouses Quior - I thought they did a good job. Not great.

What?! You? No! Why would anybody say that?

46

Same here. As a parent of two girls about that age, I could barely watch it. Please send them home quickly and get that girl some nice safe crayons.

I know, right? My wife watches America’s Best Dance Crew and So You think You can Dance. I liked those jerky robot moves the first 100 times I saw them. And the head-drop shocked me the first time too, but got boring after 5 or 6 people did it. I was ready to fast forward… and then he got awesome! I still don’t get how he got back up from his back using his head.
I love how awkward Rube Goldberg guy is. He won’t last long with no stage presence, though. But hopefully he can make a career out of that for ads or music videos or whatever.

47

Good point. I didn’t think about stage presence. Yeah, he’s probably more suited for behind the scenes work.

48

Oh, Choir. Yeah, that word clearly isn’t spelled how it’s pronounced.

49

I was unimpressed with the Rube Goldberg guy and his device. It was painfully slow watching it operate, it was mostly dominos, and it didn’t do much at all. I’ll assume that he rushed to the audition with a small amount of stuff and he can do much better next time. If not, he’s not going to make it.

I’m also a little bewildered by the amount of participation in the acts by the judges and announcer this year. This is an unfair advantage for the acts. The judges were doing the announcing work for the escape artist lady, acting in the potato chip magic act, and Nick was in the weightlifters act and started the Rube Goldberg device. This gets the crowd stirred up, helping the act, but not for the talent displayed.

50

Since my memory is crap I Googled for AGT recap, picked a link, and then cut and pasted each act’s name. I guess I didn’t pay as close attention as I should have and let that slip through.

51

Yeah, I was kind of amazed with the magic act because I didn’t even think about the possibility that the judges would help. Doesn’t seem right. Even a plant in the audience would have been a little bit better.

52

The judges wouldn’t need to be in on the magic trick, nor should they. Maybe the host guy knows that isn’t really his popcorn, or maybe there really is a snacks table back stage. But that kind of magic does use volunteers from the audience, using the judges as those volunteers is fine IMO. To me, if he coopts their complicity, that would affect their ability to judge.

Now sticking Nick in the weightlifting show was a gimmick. They could also grab a volunteer from the audience.

The escape artist did not understand the concept of her act properly. Yes, she needs a narrator while she is under water, and they shouldn’t have cameras on her while she does the escape. Unless she’s trying some Penn and Teller kind of approach, where you know the trick and the tension is just if she can get it done. But I don’t think so, it didn’t do a good job that way, either.

53

How cute. The boys in the first act were asked if they get lots of girls. It is so amusing to constantly hear that question asked of teens or younger. It never gets old. Never!

Close second, a man and woman, or boy and girl, walk on and instantly get asked if they’re a couple. Nothing wrong in-and-of itself with the question, but still, who cares?

54

Oh oh, the night ended with some people singing opera :eek:. Being the uncultured slob that I am, I of course liked their performance.

Quick, someone come in and set me straight by saying how mediocre they really are.

55

Proving now without a doubt, America Has Pedophiles!

The first act of tiny boys in military outfits doing a Chippendale’s dance number only missed that final surprise of Velcro pants being ripped off and showing them in cute little jock straps and the judges cramming a few dollar bills down their crotches. Oh the fun! And at least one of the kids had a (fake?) barbed wire tattoo around his little bicep! I wonder if they do benefits for Child Services parties in the back room of “Little Tigers Bar”?
I am so looking forward to the topless five year old girls wearing stilettos, doing pole dancing on the next show…

A black gospel choir…imagine that! I had no idea there were such groups like that out there! I bet they are the only group like that in the entire USA, and certainly the best of the lot! At least, that is what the honky Howies and the honky foreign non-Howies seem to think. Damn…too bad they didn’t have a back story with friends and relatives in the military somewhere.

And two guys balanced on each other - not so great - but hey, we all need an act for ring three in the three-ringed-circus they are slowly putting together!

And proving once again that low brow audiences love being entertained by high brow acts, three guys who met on the Internet four days ago can come together, whip up another snippet of an opera and make us weep at songs in a language nobody understands! They really should have been wearing viking helmets and carrying spears that spouted flames.

Chock full of talent this week!

56

All this is why I stopped watching after the first season. Difference between you and I is that you enjoy the insipidness (and I enjoyed reading your reactions), whereas I realized life is too short.

57

That girl was 13?

What was the deal with the brother/sister drummer/singer act? They come out, she acts all sweet and innocent at 6 years old, then they start the song, and she’s screaming “I am a zombie, I am going to eat you” or whatever (I turned on the captioning, but don’t recall verbatim now).

At least we have another act for the circus. We got the hand balancers (hey they were good, and you typically see a male/female duo, not two half-naked guys crawling all over each other). And there’s a singing mime (wait, isn’t that an oxymoron?) that didn’t make it. Howie: “The thing is, the singing wasn’t good, and the mime wasn’t good, but she’s confident.” Telling off the judges and the audience, yeah.

Three stranger opera - because opera is better when you know nothing about opera.

I loved the gum sculpter (look, a dolphin, and a worm).

Then there’s the world’s second worst escape artist - he sings while stripping off the straight jacket. But he got some points for the card trick.

Magician montage - nope, nope, nope, way nope.

The comedian was witty and funny. He was also sharp, with his quick responses.

The black gospel quior (I think I’m going to start spelling it this way, it seems much more logical) wasn’t my deal at all, but the audience seemed excited.

And hip-hop cloggers, almost as good as munchkin hip-hoppers. Damn, there’s some attitude there. Boys were hittin’ on Heidi.

58

Apparently her dad likes heavy metal.

I wasn’t all that impressed. I mean, I think they did the minimal amount to move to the next round, but they really will need to step up their game if they want to keep moving on.

My wife and I both thought of that State Farm ad with the talking mime and the baby going, “OK, does it bother anyone that the mime is talking? Fffffrrrreakyyyy.”

I’ve noticed a trend of slow and awkward talking comedians. My wife blames it on people imitating Steven Wright, but I don’t think that’s it.

I thought the one guy was great but the rest of them could go. If I was a judge and I had the tact of, oh let’s say Piers Morgan, then I would tell him to go solo.

I hate getting this way, but I’ve seen so many dance acts that now when one comes on I just roll my eyes. This group was decent enough, but I’m getting tied of them in general.

59

Well dangit, I don’t own a television, so I have to wait for the episodes to show up on YouTube. So I’m a week behind y’all. Anyway…

Kenichi (when he introduced himself to Nick, I thought he said his name was Kenny G) the dancer. I saw y’all talking about the head drop trick, but that wasn’t what did it for me. The guy totally convinced me he was a robot. Amazing.

Sprice, the Rube Goldberg machine guy. Asperger’s, anyone? Impressive work, but I can’t see it being a show business career, especially if it takes 3 days to set up. How would you do that on stage? He’ll be one machine per show. The only way I can see a career there is in doing TV specials where he has time to set up everything.

The Chinese lady with the unicycle … wow! And on a side note, to those who question American guys who like Asian women: does that woman look 42 to you? She’s only 5 years younger than me, but looks more like she’s 30-something.

I also have to wonder about both the Chinese lady and the Japanese man, listening to the judges speaking in English with so many accents. American West Coast English, American East Coast English, British English, and English with a German accent (Heidi Klum is German, right?)

The Military Spouses Choir: I didn’t find anything amazing about it, but it prompted me to message my mom on Facebook to ask if grandpa was already in the army when grandma married him, before he went off to WW2 (Mom was born while he was in Europe).

I was interested, though, in the remarks about treating brain injuries through music. My best friend suffered a stroke last year, and he still can’t speak. It’s been a year, and he still can’t say anything more then “yeah” and “hey”. Now I wonder how music might help him.

60

She was jailbait is what she was. I can’t imagine what her mother must be like to let her go out looking like that.

I found it to be just a bit, uncomfortably homo-erotic personally. :dubious:

No no no. That was just disgusting. Chewed gum is some of the grossest stuff ever. So glad he didn’t get through.

You know what shocked me? That he was Vietnamese(?) with a Scottish accent!

Overall, I thought it was a pretty good night. I can’t believe they’re still doing auditions next week. I missed the show for the last couple of years so I can’t remember if they drag auditions out this long?