Some of these are called malapropisms, after a character called Mrs. Malaprop from some old radio comedy (mal a propos, French for ‘not fit for purpose’).
Example:
Christoper Columbus circumsised the world with forty foot clippers.
or Samuel Goldwyn, when informed a script for a new movie was too caustic, replied “to hell with the cost, we’ll make it anyway”
Then you have mispronounciations- my dad’s friend is a classic, eg: He drinks Macari and Coke (bacardi), he complains about his impressor failing (compressor), and he bought a new imputer (guess). He also complains about the derickle building next door…
I have one coworker, a Phd, who inists on saying bifurcation as ‘bi-furry-cation’, drives me up the wall…
How the hell do you do that? I’m sitting here like a damnfool, repeating to myself “Wen-nes-day–weds-day --wed-neds-day—” and not being able to get it right! Goodness, as an admitted grammar and pronunciation snob* (even towards myself), it really irks me.
Anyway, on to the topic with some gems I’ve heard:
Corveyor Belt
Menestration
Fella-tee-o for “Fellatio”
My friend once asked a favor of me thusly: “Hey Joe, I gotta propaganda for you.”.
I have heard “expresso” endlessly, as well as nucular, and they both piss me off. Moreover, I heard Tom Green use this pronunciation one evening—I thought you Canadians had the Queen’s English!
*This post is immunized against Gaudere’s Thing—d’oh!
Ma knew exactly what she was saying when she said, “Ooooh, I made a fox’s paw!” and reversed a euphemism, “…and he got doodley twat.”
“It got me so flustrated.”
A Ford Exploder
He had an old Trash-80 computer.
Wimpsical, meaning wimpy
Contract disc
A limping poet, I guess, has versitis.
My computer teacher called * an asterick, so I told her to remember, “I regret that I have but one asterisk for my country.”