Amusing or baffling bumper stickers

I pronounce that like a surfer dude or the little Lebowski would:

Jus’ be chill, bro. Pass the joint, bro. Don’ worry, bro; Jesus saves, bro.

Jesus Saves
At 1st Natl Bank

Today I saw a Honda Accord on which someone had stuck a “Magnum V8” badge from a Dodge.

Even better if they’d shoehorned a Magnum V8 engine in there too. Sadly that sort of hop-up stuff has largely been killed by pollution control efforts and car computerization.

OTOH the other day a 1970s muscle car drove past while I was sitting near the street. The stench of his unburned fuel lingered even after his throaty sound had faded from my hearing. Not a good thing for millions upon millions of cars to have done / be doing. Better that we’re past that.

Someone who lives in my apartment complex has

I saw one this week that said “Defund Paw Patrol”. I’ve managed to come up with four theories.

It’s a reference I’m missing. ICE or some other unpopular agency has been nicknamed Paw Patrol and this is their way of saying “Defund ICE”.

It’s supposed to be ironic. Other people are saying “Defund ICE” so they are satirizing this by calling for the defunding of a fictional group.

It’s anti public television. They’re saying public television, including shows like Paw Patrol, shouldn’t be getting government money.

It’s a personal statement. They’re parents whose children watch endless episodes of Paw Patrol and they want it to stop.

I’d guess the second one. But you never can tell.

This morning I saw a spoof campaign bumper sticker: “Bigfoot 2026: Just give him a chance.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m an asshole.”

All the Jesus ones mentioned upthread remind me of one I saw years ago.
“Jesus is coming. Look busy!”

Back in the 1980’s Wendy’s gave out bumper stickers with their “Where’s the
beef?” slogan. I saw one where a wisenheimer car owner had cut the letter “r”
from a second sticker and placed it over the letter “f” on the sticker that was on
his back bumper. This changed the question to “Where’s the beer?”

Ah. you reminded me, back in the 80s Wisconsin had a tourism promotion with bumper stickers that said

ESCAPE TO WISCONSIN

Human nature being what it is, we soon started seeing

ESCAPE WISCONSIN

Followed by the more creative souls combining the free stickers into more humorous arrangements such as

ESCAPE TO SIN IN WISCONSIN

and my favorite

RACE TO WIN IN WISCONSIN

I’ve seen
In-N-Out
BURGER

bumper stickers clipped to
URGE

for years.

If we’re talking about modified bumper stickers, I once saw one of those “Student Driver” stickers edited with a Sharpie so that it read “Stud Driven”.

I’ve told the story before, but I was late high school to early college when a huge fad came out for bumper stickers that were white background and said

I :heart: [whatever]

with the words in a black bold simple font. Very readable. So I heart New York, I heart my beagle, I heart my kids, etc. The I heart my [dog breed] ones were especially popular.

At some print shop someplace I encountered circular white stickers depicting a silver-colored wood screw pointed 45 degrees up the right and sized to cover the hearts on the typical bumper stickers. So kinda like this :plunger: if you put obvious coarse threads on the handle and sharpen the right end.

My pals and I customized an awful lot of I heart my dog breed bumper stickers and a fair number of other ones where it made sense.

I :plunger: my dachsund

A friend of mine who went into the ministry had one custom made:

Caffeine: The Christian Drug

Unless you’re Mormon.

IIRC, National Lampoon used to offer these stickers for sale, along with their “That’s not funny, that’s sick!” merch.

Another bumper sticker that was commonly modified, at least regionally, were those for Bear Valley Ski Resort in the Central Sierras. They used to have bumper stickers that just said “Ski Bear!”, which frequently became “Ski Bare!”

Virginia has a tourism slogan “Virginia is for lovers”, and there were bumper stickers reading “VA IS FOR LOVERS”. I’ve seen a variant that reads “VD IS FOR LOVERS”.