Amusing Signs

[markn_1]

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.

[Orville_mogul]

@kayaker

Mother-in-law’s for Mother’s Day yesterday. We were on the porch and I asked her, “hey, how about a quickie?”

Just…. Ewwwww…

That said, I have never been able to resist a similar joke using a well-positioned wood screw

[Chronos]

@Mama_Zappa

This reminds me of a place nearby where they really SHOULD have markings on the pavement.

You need to be in such-and-such lane to go one way on the highway ahead, and so on. These are all clearly indicated on signs over the road.

Only, the road curves just before the signs. So, a few hundred feet back, it looks like you need to be in the second lane from the right, when really you need to be in the third from the right, or whatever. It’s one of many reasons we rarely use that route to get to the highway.

There’s a spot on my commute, where leading up to the intersection, the signs clearly show that the left lane is only for left turns, the middle lane is only for going straight, and the right lane is only for right turns. Except that there’s a curve just before the intersection, and prior to the curve, there are only two lanes, not three. Which lane is the one that’s going to split? If you want to go straight, should you be in the left lane or the right lane before the curve?

[DPRK]

[enipla]

@Treppenwitz

Uhhh - incorrect? Any chance of specifying… how? Or what’s about to happen to me?

Yeah, sort of like ‘Road Damage’ Not a temporary sign, it’s been there for years, and it’s right. Well, fix it whydon’tcha.

But I understand now. This portion of road has a spot that sinks and rises. Like it’s on tundra or something.

[kayaker]

Sign atop a gas pump telling me not to use my phone while pumping gas, with a QR code for more information about this, which I can take advantage of with my phone.

[markn_1]

They probably expect you to make a pencil-and-paper sketch of the QR code while waiting for your tank to fill. Or just decode it mentally.

[Treppenwitz]

@kayaker

Sign atop a gas pump telling me not to use my phone while pumping gas, with a QR code for more information about this, which I can take advantage of with my phone.

Just a minute - how d’ya take the picture…?

j

[phs3]

@ThelmaLou

In the German language, the word Schmuck means “jewelry, adornment”.[5] It is a nominalization of the German verb schmücken “to decorate” and is unrelated to the word discussed in this article.

I remember my dad (the linguist) using this to “explain” to my sister that a penis was the decoration on the front of a man.

[Mops]

A sign about dangerous wildlife, seen a few years ago on a trip in North Macedonia

[Album] imgur.com

[Jegpeg]

@Treppenwitz

Just a minute - how d’ya take the picture…?

I am old enough to remember cameras

[markn_1]

Camera? That’s that little round thing on the back of a cellphone, right?

[solost]

@Mops

A sign about dangerous wildlife, seen a few years ago on a trip in North Macedonia

If you don’t understand either language, the pictogram seems to be saying “if approached by a peacock, sing opera to it”.

[LSLGuy]

Or pretend to be Van Gogh.

[Gatopescado]

@solost

“if approached by a peacock, sing opera to it”.

Dammit! Just put these boxers on!

[pjd]

Sign near me, outside a pub…

[WildaBeast]

This isn’t my photo, but I did personally spot this sign at Waianapanapa State Park, Maui, Hawaii.

I feel like landing at Ancient Burial Airport has got to be bad luck.

@Bullitt

Old name of the town, for some 200 years: FUCKING.

Which reminds me, in Germany back in 2006 I spotted a bus with “Fücker” painted on the side, like this one:

I’m guessing with the umlaut over the u it’s pronounced more like “fooker”, but it is still amusing to me as an English speaker.

I can’t find any news articles, but while searching for that image I found a post on another forum claiming that bus company has now changed the spelling to “Fuecker”. If true, it’s almost certainly for the same reason the Austrian town changed the spelling of their name.

[markn_1]

I don’t know much about German, but my understanding is that “ue” is just an alternate spelling of “ü”. It’s used when the diacritic is not available, like on a typewriter. Perhaps it’s also used when you get tired of getting mocked by Americans.

[PatrickLondon]

The way I was taught to pronounce ü was to imagine you’re saying ‘eee’ and then purse your lips as far as you can push them forward.

[LSLGuy]

This was not exactly a sign, but my inner 8yo found it amusing. You might too.

I had a blood draw yesterday. While sitting in the little room awaiting the technician I noticed they had an old-fashioned cork bulletin board there with various printed paged tacked to it for the techs’ reference. And a couple of signs in much bigger letters aimed at the patients.

One of the tech pages was a list of various feces-related lab orders, the corresponding computer codes, and which sort of container to use to collect the sample. It seems they have several kinds of containers: white, yellow, blue, etc. And far more fecal tests than I’d ever imagined, maybe 20 in all.

Down near the bottom were two: “Fecal fat (qualitative)” and “Fecal fat (quantitative)”. The former, in common with several other tests, used the white container, whatever that is. So far so ordinary.

The “Fecal fat (quantitative)” however specified the “Gallon pail” as the container to use. I know just enough biology to be dangerous, but IIRC one of the signs of excess fat in feces is runny stools.

I can just picture some poor intestinal sufferer showing up for their test, being handed a clean 1 gallon paint bucket and told “Fill 'er up; the bathroom’s down the hall.” A gallon? You want a gallon of runny poop??!? WTF?

My inner 8yo laughed at that image. Yours might too.