An Anniversary Of A Very Black Day ... (Long)

In My Humble Opinion
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[NOTE TO MODS: If this is the wrong forum for this, please feel free to move it to the appropriate place … I seek no sympathy, rather, I am in search of realistic answers to realistic questions regarding a very real problem. The actual questions are near the bottom. (I wish I were a better writer; on rereading this even I think I tend to ramble a bit. Please accept my sincere apology in advance.)]

In Memorium

Abrianna Louise Williams
August 19, 1994 — December 6, 2000

As the fifth anniversary of my granddaughters death approaches, I find myself wondering about many things.

For instance: Why do I bother leaving Abrianna’s web site up on the 'Net? (Especially when it has recently come under attack by the killer webcrawlers that leave inappropriate and inane messages (“good keep site some come my site see good …”) and links to commercial sites in the guest book? Two to five entries per day for the last 6 months, forcing me to spend an inordinate amount of time and effort to go delete these meaningless entries! Hell, I don’t mind people placing links to their site in the guest book – that’s why I did not disable that option. I even have a link to my own commercial site on Abrianna’s site, though I’ve never actually put anything but a place marker on that site in the fear that some may find it tacky. However, these entries are obviously not being posted by someone who has visited the site in the interest of learning about the issues addressed there. If you visit you’ll still find some rather suspicious entries. But I digress …)

Although Abrianna’s Site has been up for nearly five years now, and the guest book has been there for nearly two years, there are only 13 entries in the guest book (as of the time of this post). It’s not like I haven’t made some serious runs at promoting the site or the issues that it addresses. Though I have not done much lately – I pretty much gave up on updating the site after I put the guest book up two years ago, and not due to a lack of interest or passion on my part – there just doesn’t seem to be much interest out there. I’ve contacted webmasters at other, somewhat similar sites and they all have a similar complaint: few parents out there “seem” to care much …

So I wonder … Are people really unconcerned about the safety of their children as they travel to and from school? Does it really take the death of a child to wake people up? If so, MUST it also be a child that goes to their child’s school before the threat seems real?

I find this so difficult to believe, yet it seems to be so! Does anyone care to offer some insight as to why parents seem to “stick their heads in the sand” and refuse to see the dangers until it strikes close to home? I know our family was pretty much asleep at the wheel at the time that Abrianna was killed. But I’m also pretty certain that if someone was out there trying to ring a warning bell that we would have pulled our collective head out of our collective ass and paid attention.

Even the media doesn’t seem to think it’s all that important. Odd as it may seem, deaths like these are rarely reported, and when they are, it’s rarely more than a 10 second sound byte on the news or 2 - 3 paragraphs in the local newspaper. That is, unless it’s really spectacular or they manage to get shocking pictures. Worse than that, they all too frequently place the blame on the victim!

[SIDEBAR]

When Abrianna died, it took us four days to get the local papers to print the story correctly. For three days it was reported in one paper that she had “run out in front of a car”. WRONG! She was run down by a tow truck while she was crossing the street. In a crosswalk. Right in front of the school. With hundreds of young children on both sides of the street to witness this young child’s gruesome death.

In the days that followed, the whole community rallied 'round us. We didn’t quite have to kick people out of the house so we could try to catch some sleep, but there was always someone close by in case something was needed or the need for a shoulder came up. Three Hundred Seventy Nine people came to the funeral service. More than Seven Hundred Fifty people were present at the graveside service. (Yes, Abrianna touched an awful lot of lives in her short time with us …)

In the month following the funeral, one of Abrianna’s other grandfathers and I put up 2 separate memorial sites on the Web. More than 2200 people from all over the world offered their condolences by signing the guest book on Ken’s site. (Ken’s site had a guest book, and since the sites were linked to each other, I saw no need at the time to put one on mine. Pity. We lost all of those entries when Ken’s site crashed. He was so devastated that he never attempted to re-create the site**.)

[/SIDEBAR]**

Another thing that I find so difficult to understand is why I (nor others) have been able to generate and sustain the kind of passion about this issue that others have been able to generate about other child endangerment issues such as abduction and abuse. (I mean, hey, if it’s me, if it’s cause I not a good spokesperson, if it’s 'cause I’m not a very good writer, that’s cool – I’m willing to get out of the way and let someone else get out in front and throw my support behind them …)

I also do not understand why the government does not track the injuries and deaths of children traveling to and from school better. Or if they are, why they make it so damn difficult to find accurate statistics. Abrianna’s death is not listed the way you may think it would be, because she was not within the OFFICIAL School Zone Crosswalk. Even though she died on her way home from school, even though she was right in front of the school, her death is listed, statistically, as an “Auto-Pedestrian Death” (no reference to anything about a school). I’m certain that there are many more instances where children have been injured or killed on their way to or from school but are not recorded as being linked to ‘School’.

And here’s something else: in speaking with the Crossing Guards working the crossings here in Elko, I discovered that in the two week period prior to Thanksgiving this year there were 28 near misses where children had to run or take some other type of evasive action to keep from suffering Abrianna’s fate. In just one crossing. Serving one school. On a (not too busy) street. Even though all 28 were reported to local law enforcement, only one citation was issued. They did submit written reports on two of the other incidents reported by the crossing guards. (No written reports on the 25 others. My guess: Maybe they weren’t close enough?)

Let me emphasize that: 28 near misses in just ten school days. And therein lies the other side of this issue: How do we get drivers to slow down and pay attention when they encounter young children on their way to school?

I know these issues affect every parent of school aged children. Perhaps you have children who are attending school this year. Perhaps you are like me, the grandparent of such a child. I am certain that you believe, as we did, that someone is looking out for the safety of your child. HOT NEWS FLASH: In all too many cases, they’re not. In Abrianna’s case, there was a hole in the safety net large enough for someone to drive a tow truck through. Literally!

I guess what I’ve been leading up to, Oh Wise and Compassionate (and incredibly patient) fellow Dopers, is this:

**Is there anything that I can do to wake up the parents of America? How do I get them to see the real dangers that their children face on a daily basis as they travel from the safety of their homes to the safety of the school building?

How can I communicate all the reasons why this issue is so important to every parent of every child in the country?

How can I get them to see how necessary it is to take the time to personally get involved in the fight to protect their children?

How do I get school district, city, county and state officials to take the necessary steps to help insure the safety of these children?

And last, but certainly not least, how do we educate drivers to the dangers that they pose to these innocent lives, and what sanctions would be appropriate if they continue to endanger children on their way to or from school?**

After all is said and done, these children are our most precious citizens, the resource from which our society shall draw the talent and intellect that will keep our society growing. I leave the answers to these questions to you, my fellow Dopers, in the hope that (maybe) together, we can find a way … for I draw near the point where I’m nearly (but not quite) ready to give it all up as a Lost Cause.

Please allow me to offer my sincere thanks in advance to you all – I wish you and your family well, and hope that the end of this holiday season finds you and yours happy, healthy and safe.

G. Lucy Jones
Elko, Nevada

Post Script: I was going to wait until next weekend to post this, but I will be attending a family reunion in honor of Abrianna that is being held on some mountain top in Utah and will not be anywhere near a computer for the first four days of December. I thought I may as well post this today and get it over with.

BTW: If you should choose to visit Abrianna’s site, and if you should choose to sign her guest book, please leave some indication that this post is what brought you there. (Your Doper name will suffice …) And please, remember this: we seek not sympathy, but rather, constructive suggestions that will help us to keep children from being injured, maimed or killed under the wheels of an automobile on their way to or from school.

If you post a reply here with a constructive suggestion to one of the questions above, and have a story about a near miss, injury or death to tell, please feel free to relate it. It will only confirm my sincere belief that this issue is more pervasive than anyone imagines. Thanks again. LiD

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I signed as Z_C. I don’t know what to say. It seems to me like a massive case of denial on the part of parents, with a side helping of whistling in the dark, or “it can’t happen to me, I’m a good person”. :frowning:

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Thanks Z_C. I know the ol’ “it can’t happen to me” mindset accounts for much of the apathy I’ve encountered over the past five years. Never have found a way to break through that.

BTW: Sorry the quest book edited your entry. I guess it was edited because I’ve got the filters on the guest book set preeeetttttyyyyy high due to all of the robotic entries (however, a word like ‘passed’ should have made it through …) I’ll look into it. Thanks again.

Lucy

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I viewed your site and I’m sorry for your loss. In looking at your proposals I’m not sure that they would work from a practical perspective. The looking for and defining safe crossing areas proposal is a good idea, but lowering traffic speed limits to 10 MPH or less in front of all schools at all times would bring traffic to a crawl in many municipalities as many schools are located directly on busy, heavily traveled streets and some larger school ground can border the highway for up to a half mile or more, and there are often several schools along some busy roads .

Municipalities and schools have to work together achieve compromise solutions, and in real life of risk vs safety will never be in perfect harmony, but if you are seriously proposing this penalty below for excessive speed in a school zone you are unlikely to be taken seriously. Police are ticketing people in my town all the time for for exceeding the speed limits by in front of school (mostly after school hours). This is on busy, primary roads built to got 40 MPH that crunch to 20MPH in front of schools. It’s fertile ticketing ground for the City police and soccer moms in vans are ticked a lot more often in these areas (based on my observations) than commercial truck drivers.

Beyond this kids are often stupid and perfect safety is impossible. Just beyond the immediate school grounds and crossing guard areas, kids that live in the local neighborhoods and don’t take the bus, are darting in front of cars, almost as a game to cross the street.

It’s useful to be as safe as possible but draconian punishment proposals are unlikely to helpful or be implemented and might cause some to dismiss your good ideas along with the less helpful ones.

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astro, thank you for your time, and your comments.

I agree, in part, with what you’ve said here. Though I’m going to stand by the 10 m.p.h limit 'til someone can give me a really good reason why it works in some areas but won’t work in “this one” (other than someone might be inconvienced).

Please keep in mind that much of what I have on the “fight” page was written while the anger still burned hot. Though I have (to some degree) moderated my stance, especially on first offenses, I still believe that habitual offenders must be dealt with harshly, not unlike habitual DUI offenders.

I feel I must fault you here. Just because young children don’t fully understand the dangers or have not learned safe behaviors does not imply supidity. It may, however, reflect poorly on their parents. :dubious:

Perfect safety has never really been my goal. Safer … Saner … Greater awareness … Training …

As for “darting in front of cars”, many children are “playing”. That’s what children do. All the more reason why adult drivers in control of vehicles must be just that much more alert!

You are right about this though: perfect safety may be impossible. But don’t you think that we, as parents, or as responsible and reasoning adults, should try to close the gap between where we are and where we could be?

You’re right about the idea that my advocation of a hard line may be causing me to be dimissed. I’ve certainly experienced that, I think.

However, I seem to remember that MADD encountered similar difficulties when they began their fight to stiffen penalties against drunk drivers. Some of the penalties originally proposed by MADD’s founder were a lot worse that what I started with.

It’s been a long time since I updated Abrianna’s Site. I’d like to moderate some of what’s there. I’m open to input. I am, in fact, begging for input. (Why do I feel like this is going to end up in GD or the pit …???) I’m not really looking for a debate – just some new or better ideas! What do you believe would be an appropriate penalty for someone traveling 22 miles per hour over the speed limit in a school zone?

1st offense: _______________________

2nd offense: ______________________

3rd offense: _______________________

Let’s assume no child is injured. Or killed. This time.

Lucy

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Nothing constructive to post, really. I am horrified by your family’s loss.

Actually, I do have something.

When I lived in San Diego, CA, I worked for a company that operated photo radar (and let’s not debate the merits or lack thereof in this thread, please). One of our customers was in the Inland Empire. To avoid community objections over the use of photo radar, they only operated it in school zones, when children were present, during the peak drop-off and pick-up times.

They gave out dozens of citations every day that the radar was used. The children were clearly visible on the pictures, even. The average violation was more than 10 miles over the posted limit for when children were present, and we clocked one idiot at 52 mph (in a 25 mph zone). And the bitch/bastard probably tried to fight the ticket on the grounds that it wasn’t fair…

If people can’t be bothered to notice a marked police black-and-white SUV with the back open and a big camera unit sticking out of it, then how the hell are they supposed to see a little kid?

They can’t and they don’t.

:mad:

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My condolences on having to endure such a horrible tragedy in your family. :frowning: You may not be able to reach everyone. Some people are just too stubborn to listen. However, I’m sure you are helping to raise awareness with your message. Now that I have read about your granddaughter, I will never forget her. I’m certainly going to be more careful from now on when I’m driving near school zones (Not that I was speeding in school zones before! I just never really thought much about the risks…so now I will be extra vigilant).

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If you could get some sort of “three strikes” rule set up regarding school crossings, it might act as a deterrant. I know that in the Kansas town I live in, there are flashing lights, and people are required to slow to 20mph between 6am to 4pm during weekdays during the school year. If they are caught they face a stiffer fine for speeding in a school zone. I’d vote for a bill that made the fine increasingly stiffer, with a third strike resulting either in jail time or a suspended license for a year and non-cushy community service as well. Maybe even have a camera set up at that crossing to capture the license plates of speeders and mail them tickets? That technology is available now. Does your community at least have some sort of community guardian service where adults escort them across in groups? I don’t understand why your community is so lackadaisical about the safey of it’s children. It boggles my mind. :frowning: Don’t give up though, there are people who care. Maybe you can gather them and start anew?

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I’m terribly, terribly sorry for your loss, but I just don’t understand the rage at “administrations” and the systems in place. It sounds like the blame for Abriana’s death lies solely on the driver who chose to not obey traffic laws - it’s that simple. There was a crosswalk in place that the children were using, and a bad driver chose to not obey the law and yield to the pedestrians in the crosswalk.

I guess people grieve in different ways, and trying to find a logical or rational scapegoat or reason for the blame is the obvious answer - but please blame the bad driver and not the system in place.

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VCO3, she has every right to be upset with the administration, a crosswalk alone isn’t enough these days. Why do you think most places have flashing lights and fine systems in place? They don’t where she lives, and the administration won’t put any up.

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At a local elementary school, we have had numerous accidents in the crosswalk in front of the school- several crossing guards have been hurt seriously enough to be hospitalized. Kids, too. I think they may have put in the flashing lights embedded in the crosswalk on the ground, but I don’t know if the accident rate has lessened.

Funny, that school is in a 30 mph zone anyway. People are only expected to drop their speed by 5 mph… But people speed terribly down the whole peninsula where the school is.

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i am so sorry.

in philly, the big city that it is, this is a big problem. the daily news did a series on school crossings, crossing guards, and injured and children who died from injuries at school crossings. the problem was many headed, who was in charge of crossing guards and how many should there be? what should be done to the drivers? what is the school district’s responsibility?

2 years after the series, the crossing guard issue is still not resolved, some intersections have cameras, and the school district is very busy ducking everything.

the daily news does what it can to keep the issue upfront by updating, but the beaur. is unbelievable.

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I am sorry for your loss. It’s easy to rattle off statistics on deaths as numbers off a sheet of paper (and even sound pleased that there were so few), but each one affects an entire family in the way this one has affected yours.

I kind of like EJsGirl’s idea.

In Brazil, where there is far less enforcement of traffic regulations, I see two different approaches to the problem: speed bumps and speed cameras.

In many rural parts, whenever there is a school or something, they put massive speed bumps in the main road to force everybody to slow down to avoid damage to the car.

In many urban areas they have a standardized and very obvious speed camera (known to the locals as a pardal, a sparrow). The cameras are mounted in a big huge sign that can be seen for quite a distance away. The fines are substantial and guaranteed: as a result, traffic simply slows down to the precise limit shown on the device until they are well past. These do get annoying when one is on a long trip and has to pass by a few dozen of them, dropping from 80kph to 50kph or something of the like, and traffic only speeds right up after passing through, but this seems to be precisely the kind of place where a big obvious speed camera might help.

The problem will still exist: kids will still die on side streets away from the school and they will still die on school grounds in spite of the devices, but a more solidly enforced realistic speed limit (e.g. 25) might make a difference.

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Clearly, there are school crossing guards here. You cite them.

Also, you say this wasn’t listed as OFFICIAL School Zone Crosswalk.

Yet, you say more than once, she was “right in front of the school”.

And, you mention this business about the paper saying she ran out in front of the car.

And you also throw in this bit about the media “blaming the victim”.

When I read that all together, well, I’ll try to say this as inoffensively as possible: it doesn’t sound like you’re being honest with us or yourself. There are just too many open questions.

Did the tow truck actually do anything wrong? Was the driver charged? If this happened right in front of the school (as you say), and there were still hundreds of kids around, surely there were adult witnesses.

How would the tow truck driver respond to the charge that he ran down a little girl right in front of a school (your words)?

I think the main thing here is teaching children to cross the street safely. Kids walk home from school. When they get outside a certain radius, it is simply impractical to man all crossings with guards. It’s impractical to extend school zones beyond reason. You can’t protect all kids from every danger every second of the day. It doesn’t work that way.

Tell the kid: look both ways. Walk home with an older kid. If a kid is too young, pick them up.

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Let me start by saying thank you, one and all, for you sentiments.

I usually snip instead of leaving the whole quote, but – well …
Trunk, here is, I hope, the short (and civil) version …

There are 3 crosswalks in front of Grantsville Elementary School. One at the East corner, one at the West corner, and one (the ‘official’ one) in the middle. Abrianna was using the one at the West corner. Grantsville in not a very large town (Population under 4500), and the city could only afford one crossing guard.

The Tow truck (TT) stopped at the ‘official’ crosswalk just moments before. Fully loaded TT then accelerated to a (calculated by a team of investigating officers) speed or 39 mph in a space of 722 ft. (In other words, he was in a wee bit of a hurry and stomped on it …)

There were 7 cars stopped at the next crosswalk waiting for 2 children (one of which was Abrianna) who were crossing the street. The only open lane was the one the TT driver was traveling in. All the other drivers had seen the pedestrians and stopped for them. TT driver did not.

The bed of the TT struck Abrianna’s head, which then knoced her down where she was drug under the left rear dual wheels of the TT.

Just missed the other child by 2" or 3" according to witnesses (11 adults saw what was coming and witnessed the impact. 1 brave sole even attempted to jump out in front of the TT and stop him.

TT driver was not wearing his corrective lenses. TT driver was charged with negligent vehicular homicide. Oh, yeah … How did the TT driver respond. you ask? He plead “No Contest”.

He was fined $2000.00 (suspended), sentenced to one year in jail (suspended) given 2 years probation, and had to serve 30 days unsupervised home confinement.

NO ACTION taken against his commercial driver license.

In short, he walked. Scott free. (Oh… well maybe not completely … He did miss 2 days work for court appearances. Can you believe it? He was actually back at work driving the same TT the very next day!!!)

All this appears in much greater detail on Abrianna’s Site, but it takes some digging to find it all. I’ve got to admit though, it took me about 30 minutes to cool off before writing this response. (Took me that long to realize that you probably had not visited Abrianna’s Site, or if you had, you did not spend too much time looking around.) *Please do not fall into the trap of blaming the victim * for the outcome. I recognize that it’s all too easy, so I forgive the transgression. This time.

(Suggest it again, though, and I will take you to the pit and give you a real good spankin’ …) :slight_smile:

I know there are times when it could be argued that a six year old child shares a percentage in the cause of their death. (I’d love a chance to debate that, though, 'cause I don’t think that’s the case …) But Abrianna was doing EXACTLY what she had been taught to do. In the civil case (which took two years to get judgment, btw) the TT driver was ruled to be 100% at fault. Not 80, not 90, not even 99.999%, but 100%. The only thing Abrianna contributed to her death was providing an inattentive adult with a target he couldn’t miss.

Hope that’s 'nuff said on that.

VCO3 Believe me, I blame do the driver. Much. Him and every other jerk that speeds through school or the surrounding areas when children are trying to get to or from shcool.

However, I will continue to rage at the officials, the government, the school district, et.al., because the warning devices and other protections were/are inadequate. As they are far too inadequate at far too many schools all across the country. It is my goal (dream?) to change that.

Z_C With my user name, it’s an easy mistake to make …

Lucy

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Lucy, I’ve been thinking about this thread since yesterday. I’m so sorry for your loss. My real name, btw, is Louise. It’s not something I see pop up much in somebody young (I’m only 26 myself)

What is sad is that lowering the speed limit will only cause traffic delays and inconvenience and extra tickets for your average safe driver. I think when something like this happens we want so bad to pass some law that will make it never happen again, but the problem is, you can’t account for the assholes.

I have a couple of friends who are cops, and one of them told me once that reducing the drinking limit from 1.0 to 0.8 wasn’t going to save any lives. Because the people who weave onto the sidewalk, hit trees, mow down pedestrians and kill other drivers are already way drunker than that. Regularly, he pulls over people who blow north of 2.0. These people are driving! They’re so grossly flaunting the law that it doesn’t matter to them that it changed. These are the same people who will go 50 in a school zone, or on a residential street. People who will floor it comming off a crosswalk is said school zone. People who will whip around a line of stopped cars only to run down the person crossing the street. They didn’t care when it was 25, they won’t care when it’s 10. Until we can get these people in line, lowering the speed limit/drinking limit isn’t going to change much.

When I was driving to work this morning, I was looking at the kids walking to the school down the street from me. Really paying attention. And I noticed this:

The school is at the bottom of a large hill, and people speed coming down this hill like you wouldn’t believe. Also, there are NO SIDEWALKS on this road, just a muddy path where kids hug the small space between house fences and pavement/parked cars. There’s only one crossing gaurd, stationed at the stopsign on the end of the street. (The school is at the top of a T the two streets make, my street is the bottom part. Hill’s on the left side of the T top. Busiest road in town, connecting two freeways, is at the end of the right).

I used to complain (a lot, even in the pit) about people who block my drive way/garbage cans/whatever as they clog up the street with cars. Must you walk your kid to the schoolyard yourself? I always thought. Have them walk from home, it’s a small town. Drop them off nearby, you don’t need to park and go with them. Well, thinking about your granddaughter and looking at that road from a parents perspective, from now on I’m going to stop bitching about them. I think I’d want to walk my kids to the door, too.

I drive in a school zone every day, just to get anyway. Like anyone else, sometimes I’m late for work. Sometimes I’m really tired. But I’ll be driving a little slower now, looking a little harder, making sure I’ve had enough caffiene to be really alert and not just following the car in front of me like a lemming. So thanks, anyway, for opening my eyes a little.

17

Lucy, you cleared that up nicely.

My natural instinct on a message board is to read such a thing with a little suspicion, and imagine that it passed through a pretty biased filter before getting to us.

I had visited the site, but didn’t see that much information. Your first post here definitely left some questions in my mind.

Sorry for your loss. I hope the site can help make a difference.

18

Obsidian You are so very right about one thing … we’ll never stop the jerks who just don’t care except through stricter enforcement. They’ll always be with us, just as habitual drunks are.

However, an awful lot of kids are hit by just normal everyday folks like you and me that are trying to get from home to work and back again who, for just one brief moment, aren’t paying attention. (Boy, talk about a run-on sentence! I must be tired …)

They are the ones who benefit from the signs, the reduced speed limits, flashing lights, etc. Hopefully, it wakes 'em up and gets them to pay attention at least while traveling through the school zone. Strickter penalties work better on them, too. Who wants to pay the fine or worse? If slowing them down, causing some delays or inconvenience saves a childs life, well … ask yourself - what if it was your child???

On the other hand, look what shining some light on the subject does. Look at your comments and the comments of others who have posted on this thread. Just a modest amount of information and all of a sudden we’ve got people saying “Oh, gee. I didn’t realize the problem was that bad …” etc.

So, forget about the penalties and other stuff for now … let’s just concentrate on getting the word out. Can you help me find a way to spread awareness?

How do we get the information out to a couple of million more???

I’m still hoping to see some brainstorming here …

Lucy

P.S. I’ll be away from my computer for the next few days getting some well earned rest. I’ll check back on Monday.

And Truck, as I said, all sins forgiven. :smiley: Thank you, and thanks again to everyone for your sentiments.