Apparently I’m going to be paid to surf the Dope today. I’m fine with that. Not awake enough for much else. I could put in my flash drive and work on the technicalities of my comps paper (intro, transition, conclusion), but I’d much rather Dope around and read Kushiel’s Justice.
Bobbio, I had cake for breakfast this morning, so I’m good. Angel food cake with strawberry topping courtesy of Complicated Roommate’s bosses. 
Morning Mumpers! I’m taking my car to get fixed today. Hopefully the bill wil be :eek: [sup]2[/sup] and not :eek: [sup]4[/sup].
{{{{{Nola}}}}
sorry about the money thing, Haze
Since I last posted, I have:
Okay, maybe one of those isn’t true, just wanted to let you guys know that your Resident Troublemaker is hard on duty.
Did yah catch it? Didja?!
beebs
Oh, you’re taking the Tristate–you will pass within 1 mile of my house on I-80. I’ll make cookies… (just kidding–don’t feel obliged to stop. It’s not like I’d want an attractive young guy stopping by to visit me while I’m alone during the day or anything. What woman wants that? Geesh!). 
I’ll wave periodically northwards. Think of me as you pass the Halsted exit. 
Actually IMS, you are doing the before the construction starts on the west/northbound tristate, so coming back shouldn’t be a problem. Now that the construction is done at the interchanges of tristate, Bishop Ford, I-65 etc–it’s nice.
That’s some truck. I’ve always wondered what’s in trucks like that–no signage, no markings. <looks around suspiciously>
Tagfree: what to say? How old is this child? Does her dad want her? Have you seen the movie Parenthood? (some comic relief). Here’s a story that might help you. I have a friend who had the Daughter From Hell during her teen years (the daughter’s teen years). She climbed out of windows, was um, promiscuous, cut herself, was bulemic–you name it, J did it.
I thought my friend was going to wither away under the constant assault of J. J got pregnant at age 20 by a guy who wants nothing to do with her. She opted to keep the baby (despite many many misgivings on the part of her parents, her therapist–she refused to take her meds as soon as she turned 18, her pastor, her everybody). She been in and out of therapy (not all of them supportive or neutral toward her parents–double whammy for S. You take your kid so they can get help and end up being chastised by a “professional”!), on any number of anti-depressants etc.
Well, it’s early days yet, but while pregnant, this girl buckled down, attended her college classes, did not drink, party, drug or sleep around. Now her baby is 2 months old. I saw her the other day and she was talking all about how she can’t take the semester off because she’d lose her insurance (student status), how she signed up Baby for the IL health program (cannot recall name of it), how she is planning on a career in speech pathology, but first she has to transfer to Local Uni and work on the prereqs etc. She’d like to move out by next year, and is returning to work on Friday. She is living with her parents to save money. It was like listening to a completely different person.
I tell you all this to share one thing with you. She and her mother (strained at the best of times) were sitting doing the baby worship thing one night when Baby was only about 2 weeks old. Her mom asked her, “Would it have made any difference if I had taken away the car keys or forbade you to see [kids who were a bad crowd]? Would any of that have worked?”
J turned to her mother and said, “Nothing you did or would have done would have made any difference. Those friends had cars; I was going to do what I wanted to do, no matter what. You can take that burden off your shoulders.”
Can you believe that? The degree of insight and maturity and kindness–out of J!–who never had a thought but for her own pleasure or self. Makes you think…
All that said, I don’t recommend anyone having a baby at the age of 20, unwed and still in school. She’s got a tough road ahead. But some healing has started with J and S. Baby will need both of them, so it’s all good. Hang in there. (pssst: one reason she is so intensely against you is because she is so intensely connected to you. She doesn’t hate you–she hates (or fears) the weakness or frailities you represent to her.)
And that enough amateur psychology for today.
Someone asked about my car–I trust these mechanics. I’ve known them for 20 years. Plus, the car is not drivable so I cannot shop around. I always planned on driving it into the ground, but the past month has been one expense after another. They are not sure about the PS pump right now; they have to test it once the rack/pinion is done.
Oh, and the gas smell went away in a few hours. I think there was some kind of residue on the burners and grill, but all is well now. Tonight is chicken and N.O.T. I’m actually enjoying cooking again! Maybe I’ll make brownies for work today…It’ll break up the practicum work I have to do.
I got a phone call yesterday afternoon letting me know that my current job contract is ending on the 25th. I don’t know how I feel about it. On one hand, it would be nice to be in an office where I can do more than what I do here. On the other hand, I feel like I should have been able to do more in this office than what I’ve done. When I took this contract, I was supposed to be in part taking over for someone going on medical leave in addition to some other projects. Well, the person never went on leave, so I’ve been stuck doing probably less than half of what I was supposed to be doing. What I don’t get is that when Manager terminated the contract, she told Staffing Guy that the person was coming back from medical leave. 
Anyway, this contract has been a let down…but I’ve had more than six hours most days to surf…I’m just rambling now, I know. I just can’t figure out why Manager would tell Staffing Guy that the person who never left for medical leave was, in fact, returning.
Nola, it sounds like I’ve been where your daughter is. (But without the therapist and meds.) Kudos to you for not ignoring what’s going on in your daughter’s life. My mother and I definately have issues, exacerbated, I’m sure, by both of us at different times. I think some of these things are just the nature of the relationship between parents and their kids, especially mothers and daughters. (Not everyone can be Rory and Lorelai Gilmore.) If you want to talk about it with someone who has been on and come out of the other side, feel free to PM me.
Spaz I get paid to surf the Dope everyday. Believe it or not, it does get boring. My aunt and cousin do the relay for life every year and really enjoy it. I hope you have lots of fun!
Haze, money sucks. Owing money and not having enough money sucks even more.
(((Rigs)))
(((Elderly Mumper Relatives and Mumpers with them)))
Was the choice cake or death?
FCM–tell the BIL to stuff a sock into it. Watch him splutter and foam. Ok, maybe not that, but I’d be firm and Just Tell Him. Hemming and hawing around unreasonable people gets you nowhere. My MIL is horribly unreasonable, so now I just lay it on the line. I think she’s little afraid of me now or she could just be (finally) recognizing boundaries. I’d tell him it’s all been settled, this is what the young people want and that you hope he can relax and enjoy the day as a guest. If that doesn’t work, I’d bring out Ominous Tone to My Voice, and say we don’t want any drama that day etc. And then watch him splutter and foam. He’s gonna splutter and foam–might as well look at as entertainment value.
Re you dress–I see a nice silver pendant chain (delicate) with a silver bracelet and earrings. It’s a pretty color–very spring-y.
Morning, all. I’m here and caffeinating; that’s about all I can about me right now.
No new news on Grandma Tigs yet this morning. But I’m already planning for a hasty trip cross-country just in case; at least I’d be able to spell TigSis, who’s got enough health issues of her own (stamina being high on the list – even though her Parkinsons meds keep her physically fairly symptom-free, she’s still got zero stamina). So we shall see. I’m just really, really grateful that TigSis is there and available for emergencies such as this.
TagFree, I was a seriously Wild Child and had massive, massive arguments with my father, truly thought I hated him. I couldn’t wait to get away from home. Of course, that didn’t help; I just went downhill even faster. When I finally hit my bottom and started the uphill climb, I discovered that while we’d never be best buds, I could learn to get along with him just fine, and we fairly peacefully coexisted from then on out. And he turned into a pretty nice guy eventually with, I suspect, most of the changes coming from my side, not his. Amazing how that happens. 
So hang in there. I’m not saying my situation is applicable to you and your daughter’s, but just to give you hope that things can change.
How’s Grandpa Pie doing today? Good thoughts headed his way for a speedy recovery!
I’d better shut up and get some work done. It doesn’t go away just because I sit around and worry instead of doing it. 
ETA: Forgot to add, pretty dress, FCM! I agree with your daughter, though – something sparkly around your neck would definitely help. And maybe a matching sparkly bracelet.
Thank you everyone for the well wishes and hugs.
Oldest daughter is twelve, she’ll be thirteen in September.
Rigs, thank you for the story. It does give me hope.
I gave my folks problems growing up, but I started later, and it was a slightly different flavor. I can only hope she doesn’t go that route.
I’m off to take a badly needed shower now!
The thing that annoys me is that I offered to pay her back at the time and she assured me that it was fine, that she’d just claim the entire deposit when our lease was up. And NOW she tells me that her mother basically thinks I’m trying to pull a fast one on her. I wanted to yell at her about how I thought the same thing about her when we were still trying to secure the lease and she went AWOL at the most inconvenient time and almost caused us to lose the first month’s rent AND the apartment altogether (it was a weird system - we paid the first month’s rent upfront, and we didn’t pay the deposit until later). If it was going to be a problem, she could have just asked me to pay her back on the spot. I can afford to pay her back, just not right this minute. (To be fair, she didn’t DEMAND I pay her back this week, just asked if I could.)
After a night’s sleep I feel calmer about the whole thing. Last night I was mostly angry about the way she had worded her email: “Yeah, so my mom thinks you’re treating me like a doormat.” Upon reflection I don’t think she meant to be insulting - I think her mother is just giving her a hard time about it and she was trying to find a way to ask me to pay her back as soon as possible without making herself look bad in the process. Honestly, she could have just said, “Hey, could you pay me back the $600 upfront?” and left her mother out of it. I forget that she’s younger than me sometimes.
Sorry, I just needed to vent.
I also need more sleep. Grumble.
All this time, I thought I was the resident Attention Whore…
FCM, I agree with rigs, a nice silver or white gold chain, bracelet and earrings would be just right with that dress.
Haven’t had time to read, just a drive by. I have to leave in a few minutes to take my daughter to the dermatologist.
Hugs and smooches to everyone.
Love the dress, fcm! Are you doing corsages for you and MOG? That would work as far as “bling” and save the trouble of finding jewelry. Just my 2 cents.
I just sent off the first round of the presentation from hell to the appropriate person. I let her know that I plan to end my “assistance” as of the end of next week so she better get any revisions to me ASAP.
All appropriate appendages crossed for gpie and gtigs.
Nola, I hope it’s some consolation to you that there aren’t very many parents who escape unscathed. I know you feel down but by all means, do not feel guilty! Leave that for your daughter for when she grows up and realizes raising her was no piece of cake.
Eh, from a picture perspective, Anthony Bourdain just ain’t doing it for me. On the other hand, just cause I’m kinda weird, Cesar Milan makes me sit and stay.
Tupug
OHHHHHH—SHE’S 13. God. OF COURSE SHE HATES YOU–she’s 12-sih. Now that I know that–honey, you have about 18 months of HELL to face and then she’ll calm down. Truly. 12-13 is PURE HELL FOR FEMALES. And any woman who tells you she was fine and nice and sweet and compliant in 7th grade is a liar. Either to you or herself, but a liar.
It’s probably nothing serious (or it could be–she is on meds etc.). But really, all things point to her being fine.
:Vrrrrroooooommmm:
Just a drive-by this afternoon, been busy today! Yays, boos and hugs for all!
Not weird at all. It’s a combination of that blindingly white smile plus when he puffs his chest out all pack leader. Rowr! I’d happily roll over and submit!
Daughter is 13, TagFree? No wonder! Just keep reminding yourself, “Why am I arguing with hormones?” when she tries to get you going. It’s not the real her. Trust me!
What mamatigs and rigs said.
Nola, you have my deepest sympathies. Teenaged girls are clinically insane for an indefinite period of time–the length and severity of insanity is inversely proportional to how great they’re gonna be when they get over it and how tight a friend they’ll be to you. I say this as the mother of an incredibly cool, my very best friend, thirty one year old daughter. Yes, she put me through circles of hell that even Dante couldn’t bear to write about. Just keep repeating the mantra–“She WILL get over this, it WILL be okay, my main job is to keep her from doing something stupid that will get her killed while NOT killing her myself.”
Pretty dress, FCM, I concur that a simple but sparkly necklace and bracelet are just what it needs. A scarf or trim would be too busy because the cut of the dress is complicated enough. How about a longish necklace of darker amethyst beads, or a shorter, chunkier silver/purple combo?
Dot, see now I don’t see the appeal in that guy–he’s too roundfaced for me. Well, that’s why there’s vanilla AND chocolate, I guess; enough for everybody!
Haze, when you get the $600 together I suggest getting it all in one dollar bills and throwing the entire pile all over her bedroom. What a beeyotch!
Well, off to the pit to see what the uncivilized are doing this morning! Pie, I know whereof you speak and concur!
wonder if the coffee’s done yet?
It has come to my attention that I am wasting time. <sigh>
Off to do my work. This cross sure is heavy…
The only reason I’m not getting distracted by tv personalities is that I’m surrounded by hot coworkers. Which KeithT knows. And he’s noted that there are plenty of hot women at my job too so when we get together with my coworkers, he’s checking them out too. It works out well for both of us.
I was a perfect angel through my teen years. (Why isn’t there an angel smiley??) 
The onset of hormones is a tough time. Good luck Tagless!
beebs - I’m not falling for it. Nope. Not any more. Not now that I’ve met you in person.
VBob - Attention Whore and Resident Troublemaker are not mutually exclusive positions - we can have both
mousie - the manager had to say that for the benefit of the HR people and those who dole out the contracts. If the manager had told the truth, you’d have been out of there the minute cow-orker decied not to take leave.
Nola - There is such a thing as being too understanding and ending up letting her walk all over your feelings. But while the chances are very high she will get over this phase, it may take longer than 12 to 18 months. But hang in there. Karma works.
rigs - I was fine in 7th grade. 8th grade on the other hand…
I am on my way out for a spell - Ack! Fresh Air! How will I cope? Later, all.