An Auburn fan called my daughter ugly, then pissed in my gas tank...

The Game Room
1

…before slapping my grandma and running over my dog!

If you ever peruse the various college sports (especially football) forums scattered about the net, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Some schmuck will post an OP stating that he was politely minding his business and helping little old ladies across the street (as all fans of his team habitually do, because, you see, they all have class), when a hooligan bedecked in the hated colors of a rival school crassly intruded upon his charitable efforts by doing something incredibly offensive/uncivilized/inhumane/illegal. This, of course, proves that the fans of the rival university are all hateful, evil people, and that the university itself is substandard and loathsome.

This is invariably followed up by a description of the victim’s civilized nature, as he just passively allows the uncouth ruffian to berate him cruelly, and sometimes physically mistreat them, thus cementing the friendly university’s position of moral and educational superiority.

This happens all the time, even though everybody reading it knows it is 100% fabrication. Nothing of the sort ever happened. Oh, maybe there was a guy in an Auburn jacket on the other side of the gas pump, and he was sort of distant, in that he refused to exchange the customary nod when you caught his eye. But for God’s sake, you KNOW he did not shoot your goddamned dog!

All fan bases are the same (yes, even the LSU fan base, for you SEC guys). There is no fan base that’s more “classless” than any other. All fan bases have mostly decent, polite members that will invite you to tailgates, give you directions to good restaurants and bars, and advise you on the best way to get out of the city after a game. As well, all fan bases have that 1% of drunk frat boys, redneck jerks, and overly aggressive retards.

Look, I’m a lifetime Bama fan, but most of my family are Auburn fans, and I grew up in a city that’s primarily devoted to Auburn. I’m supposed to think that most of my family, who are decent, intelligent, well-educated folks, or 75% of the people I knew growing up, are “classless jerks” just because they wear orange and blue?

I don’t think so. More perspective, less mob mentality, if you please.

2

Huh, that’s something a 'Bama fan would say. Redneck.

:wink:

3

Heh. True story, though (no, really. I just don’t think it says anything about Auburn fans in general):

Yesterday, while negotiating the interchange between two interstates, an enormous 4x4 came screaming up behind me, then switched lanes and pulled up beside me. The tinted window rolled down, and the driver flipped me off (I guess for driving the speed limit on the ramp). Orange shirt, blue cap, big “AU” in the back window.

I’m sure this just goes to show something, but I’m damned if I know what it is.

4

War Eagle!

5

Obviously you’ve never been to a game in Morgantown, WV.

6

You forgot the part where the victim could have easily kicked the hooligan’s ass but didn’t because he’s a civilized man. He could also have seduced the hooligan’s ladyfriends, who were heavily flirting with him, but didn’t because he’s in a relationship.

Also, his penis is the size of a Buick.

7

Oh god. Look, I went to A&M because it’s a good engineering school. I’m an engineer, it’s a good engineering school. I don’t bleed the school colors, and I don’t give half a shit about sports rivalries. I don’t consider myself an aggie, and aggie jokes mean nothing to me(some of them are funny the first time). I see people with stickers on their cars, who wear their school colors, all sorts of stuff. I get alumni mail, which I promptly recycle. I just don’t get the school pride business. I went there for an education. I got an education. What about that necessitates changing my identity to where I consider myself an aggie?

I guess it’s a way to have good-natured ribbing between friends, but if all you know about me is where I went to school then we’re not close enough for good-natured ribbing between friends. So STFU and FOAD if that’s all you have to bring to a conversation. HTH, HAND.

Enjoy,
Steven

8

Just so you know my “War Eagle!” was in jest, Ogre, I know from our previous exchanges here, on various topics, that being from Bama (the state) is more of a bond than rooting for different schools.

And just to show the spirit of your OP is for real, I’ll just say that my Dad bragged that he had been to more Auburn games than he had missed – for the entire period Auburn has been playing football (1892). He passed in 1995 at the age of 82 and for a funeral wreath his brother, who is as pro-Bama as anybody since The Bear, sent a big orange and blue spray with WAR EAGLE in big letters to the funeral home.

Families (even marriages) can survive the rivalry. Surely others can as well.

ROLL TIDE!

9

How can you say this when faced with the incontrovertible fact that OSU fans are trash?

10

Oregon, Ohio, or Oklahoma? Or all three?

11

I have no idea what phenomenon you’re talking about. Are there really people who pretend entire fan bases are a different class of humanity?

JC
Philadelphia

12

Pick one. Then apply this piece of logic: You can’t spell C-ck–cker without OSU.

13

you obviously are clueless to SEC football. Heathen, Damn Yankees.:smiley:

14

ok, i am a big auburn fan since my step dad (who is now deceased) was a big supporter. i guess one time they got it in their heads to go see a game in atlanta and rode their bikes (probably like a million years ago). they even got written up in the paper for their adventures. and since i am from texas i know about football rivalries but jeebus those folks in alabama are intense.

it’s always funny sitting around with some of the auburn fans and listen to them dismiss the alabama fans. most of the comments running along the lines of they wouldn’t even know how to get to tuscaloosa much less complete school there.

but here is a serious question. in texas ut is kind of seen like the genteel school while a&m is for the hicks. in alabama it seems to be the other way. is it just the folks i am hanging with, who are all auburn alums or is that the general perception? because in texas, at least, it is true. lol

15

The truth is no further away than The Paul Finebaum Radio Network which is available to the whole planet by way of satellite radio and internet streaming (there’s even video!!). If you have doubts about sports and need a clue about Auburn-Alabama, the SEC as Gods of the Universe, and other assorted hilarity from 2-6 (2-8 if you have the guts) every weekday, get in now and be ready to enjoy the season. There’s always somebody to hate at PFRN.

16

Oh, I know. I suppose it’s all part of the tribal “my people right or wrong” mentality that’s so prevalent in college sports, but I don’t have to like it! My brother, who bleeds orange and blue, cheered for the Tide in the national title game. And these days, yes. Being from the state should be more of a national rallying cry. “Born and bred in Alabama, well-educated, and ready for the state to leave the dark ages!”

That’s great, and it doesn’t surprise me, knowing a lot of long-time fans of both schools.

And here’s my best example of it: a good friend of mine wears his 1979 National Championship ring. He was on Bear Bryant’s 12-0 team. Alabama football is extremely precious to him. That didn’t stop him from marrying a very, very prominent Auburn girl, whose father’s name would be recognized by any fan of SEC football.

17

For what it’s worth:

I graduated from UT. My dad did. His dad did, too. I’m not sure how much further back it goes. I LOVE my college down to its little cotton socks, and while I (gently) rib my Aggie friends, I have plenty of those Aggie friends. I have visited BCS before, gotten lost, compared its layout (mow down everything, plant grass and straight orderly roads, etc) to a military base, been treated with the utmost hospitality and civility by its residents, and gained a sincere respect for the scholarship of its engineers and the kajillion and five traditions they have.

I do think the “Aggie and Longhorn in the bathroom” joke is high humor, but y’all are all right. So are we. :slight_smile:

18

Well, it does bear mentioning that, to root for a certain team, one must subscribe to at least a tacit endorsement of how that team does business. Thus, it is not entirely unreasonable to impute certain moral characteristics to certain fan bases in accordance with their chosen institution’s practices.

Case in point: The New York Yankees, for whom my mother has been rooting for over the past two years or so.

It does sadden me somewhat to think that the woman who gave me life is almost certainly going to Hell.

19

It’s the fans you hung out with. Auburn is a cowtown surrounded by trailers and Wal*Mart.

Ogre, you’ve spoken that which should remain unspoken. Of course it’s stupid and pointless to pretend that Auburn fans only have nine fingers and can’t count to ten, but by god a little good-natured shit-talking is a tradition that I will dutifully carry out and teach to my children.

edit: For top-notch shit-talking, watch this Alabama student discuss his hatred for Tennessee.

20

I’m intrigued by the idea of pissing in somebody’s gas tank. Would it have any effect on gas mileage?