So I’m at a birthday party this morning. There’s an entertainer there - “Professor Pudder, Inventor & Scientist.”
Professor Pudder asks the kids “Does anyone know what scientists do?”
A four-year-old boy replies “They go pee-pee in the toilet!!”
My three-year-old son, who has no use for manners no matter how hard we try, burped particularly loudly a few days ago.
I looked at him and said “Now what do you say, John?”
He walked right up to me, opened his little mouth, and said “I said BUUUURP really loud! Din’t you hear?”
My kids are soooooooo lucky that I do, in fact, have a sense of humor…
I was at a Halloween party with some fellow church members last night. Most of the people that were there were new families and had little ones that have grown as friends over the years. specificly there are two little 5 year old girls that were there, Molly and Megan…but when Megan’s family was about to leave, Molly walked up to Megan and said “Just in case you forget me, lets hug”, and they hugged…I’m just like “awwwwww”…but it was kinda funny concidering we had church this morning and they always see eachother every church service…ah kids…
We were camping with my folks and my step-mom and I took my then 5 year old daughter to the bathhouse to shower.
My daughter wanted to shower with Grandma, so she did, and then SM sent my daughter over to my stall so she could have more room to finish up.
I was about done, so I pulled back the curtain and there’s my daughter, clutching the towel frantically about her little body.
“Don’t be silly,” I told her, “You don’t have anything Grandma and I don’t have.”
To which she pertly replied, “Yes I do. Beauty!”
My then 3 year old daughter was concerned about my finger after I smashed it. I told her the nail would probably fall off. She burst into uncontrolable sobs. When I finally calmed her down enough to talk she said through her tears “You might…DIE!”
aawww she loves me
My nieces (one 5 and one 4) were traveling on the motorway with my Mum and Step-dad. Amy (5) said, very politely…
“Grandma, can you do me a favour?”
“what?”
“Can you buy me some sweets… Now?”
My daughter is five and for the past few months we’ve been having conversations on and off regarding how people are different and that it’s ok.
The other day we were talking about it in reference to celebrating Halloween (which we don’t):
Me: “Some people don’t celebrate Halloween, some people don’t celebrate christmas, some people don’t celebrate easter…”
Her (interrupting): “Oh I know Mommy! And some people have brown skin and some people have light skin, some people pick their noses and some don’t…”
It’s good to know she understands the important ways people are different.
We were standing at the check-in counter of a hotel and there was an absolutely stunning blonde next to us. My son, who was three-and-a-half at the time, looks this woman up and down, actually walking around her to get a better look, and then looks at me and says in a completely serious tone of voice “Beautiful woman, huh dad?”.
I would have been slightly less embarassed if my wife hadn’t been standing next to me.
I was at a birthday party for a four year old yesterday.
Someone said “Happy Birthday.”
The four year olds reply? “Save your pity.”
Apologies to those who read my Live Journal and have already heard this.
My daughter, who is 2 years and 4 months old came up with this one all by herself. We’ve no idea where she got it.
“I love you upstairs, too.”
Awww…
On Saturday, September 8, 2001 I was watching my neighbor’s children. 8 year old Travis and I got into a talk about Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma City bombing. He asked me why McVeigh did such a horrible thing, and I explained it was a federal building. “He didn’t like the government, so he blew up one of their buildings.”
Travis’s reply: That’s just stupid. If you don’t like the government, go live somewhere else. You don’t got to blow up buildings and kill all those people.
On Saturday, September 8, 2001.
I used to work as a presenter at a science discovery centre - we did half-hour science shows for kids, showing lots of cool experiments and hopefully teaching them a little bit. One of my colleagues was doing a show one day, which was based around the idea that lots of human innovations are similar to things seen in nature - for example, lots of animals use camouflage, and people can dress up in camouflage clothes so that they can’t be seen.
So, at one stage, my colleague showed all the kids a picture of a blue-ringed octopus, and said, “What’s the octopus got, that helps it to climb around and hang on to the rocks”, and a little girl in the front row shot back, “TESTICLES!”
We were on a weekend vacation up north in a hotel. Mr. Ujest was sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper doing his business. Our 4.5 year old son rushes into the bathroom saying,
" Hurry up Papa, my penis is quivering."