An Introspective Into "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

@Scumpup

He’s just well liked, even among the other deer. All he had to do was blow a few bucks, and popularity followed.

Nah, just Dancer and Prancer.

@Recusant

…This leads into the bigger problem, however, and here’s where your analysis of the propulsion of Greco-Turkish bishop Odin’s vehicle falls apart: you’re assuming that these are the same reindeer every time. I, for one, see no evidence to that effect; in fact, the fact that only Rudolph, of all the deer in question, has a name that most people would recognize as such, indicates otherwise: even in English, ‘Dasher’, ‘Dancer’, and ‘Prancer’ are jobs or titles; ‘Comet’, ‘Cupid’, and ‘Vixen’ admittedly less so, though one could readily imagine the positions such code-named creatures would have in a group of reindeer whose job was pulling a sleigh; and, well, I have no idea about Donner or Blitzen, the poem predating both the party and the football maneuver. Maybe they mean something in Norwegian. I would put forth the theory that these are not names of creatures, but roles, positions, or code names given to deer that perform the specific functions as part of the sled-pulling team. A given deer is no more inherently ‘Comet’ than Ian McKellen is inherently Hamlet.

“Donner” and “Blitzen” come from the German words for “Thunder” and “Lightning”. Clearly, they’re Santa’s heavies, the ones he uses to threaten children on the Naughty list and beat up those union reps who keep trying to organize the elves.

[Senegoid]

It seems like a very odd reindeer hitch that would have nine deer.

(BTW: Yes, I know the names of the other eight. But I always had heard it as Donder not Donner. FWIW, I also know the names of the 12 tribes of Israel.)

[Senegoid]

As for the names being actually just their titles or code-names for their slot in the hitch, consider that they may just be stage names. Other examples are well known:

(1) There have been many collies who starred under the stage name of “Lassie”.

(2) There have been several orcas (even several simultaneously at various locations) who starred under the stage name of “Shamu”.

[Senegoid]

@Spiderman

There’s one major flaw in your logic. They are flying reindeer, not driving reindeer.

Different terminology set. In the business of controlling a hitch of animals, it’s “riding” if you are sitting on the animal (as in, riding a horse in the saddle) vs. “driving” if you are walking behind or alongside the animal (as in driving a team of plow horses, Photo) or if you are seated in a vehicle pulled by the animals (as in driving a carriage horse or team of horses). Santa is clearly driving a team of reindeer.

Which brings up another point, how come nobody mentions Gregory the Green Nosed Reindeer?
“Gregory” even means “watchful, alert”. Who better to make sure you don’t run into any other airplanes or UFOs? But nooooo, no mention of the lookout at all!

Why do you think there was a watchful alert lookout reindeer? Here we have evidence that there might not have been. There is also testimonial evidence that one of Santa’s reindeer ran over Grandma.

[Ranger_Jeff]

10 reindeer. They mention “Olive, the other reindeer” in the song.

I love me some Exmas venison. And as the neighborhood dads used to shout in my old neighborhood after having some Exmas spirits and immediately before letting loose a couple of rounds from that old Garand they had, “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS, FATSO! GET THOSE REINDEER OFF OF MY ROOF!!”

[cochrane]

@Senegoid

As for the names being actually just their titles or code-names for their slot in the hitch, consider that they may just be stage names. Other examples are well known:

(1) There have been many collies who starred under the stage name of “Lassie”.

(2) There have been several orcas (even several simultaneously at various locations) who starred under the stage name of “Shamu”.

Also, multiple dolphins played Flipper.

[Kamino_Neko]

@picunurse

Are caribou actually deer?

… Yes. What else would they be?

[picunurse]

I guess Iwas trying to see if any knew reindeer were caribou.

I have an odd sense of humor.

[Spiderman]

@Senegoid

Different terminology set. In the business of controlling a hitch of animals, it’s “riding” if you are sitting on the animal (as in, riding a horse in the saddle) vs. “driving” if you are walking behind or alongside the animal (as in driving a team of plow horses, Photo) or if you are seated in a vehicle pulled by the animals (as in driving a carriage horse or team of horses). Santa is clearly driving a team of reindeer.

Your terms are correct for animals that remain on the ground; however, once you (intentionally) become airborne, flying terminology takes over.

@Senegoid

Why do you think there was a watchful alert lookout reindeer? Here we have evidence that there might not have been. There is also testimonial evidence that one of Santa’s reindeer ran over Grandma.

We have numerous reports of him landing on roofs (another FAA no-no). His red light is to the front, a clear indication that he either setup wrong or is flying sideways. There is clearly enough probably cause to [del]dispatch[/del] scramble some F-16s to pull Santa over & administer field sobriety tests for FUI. As for Grandmama, you can hardly blame the lookout if the team leader is schnockered & commits the illegal act of hit & fly.

[pulykamell]

@picunurse

I guess Iwas trying to see if any knew reindeer were caribou.

I have an odd sense of humor.

Well, caribou are a type of reindeer, so reindeer aren’t necessarily caribou in general,

Actually, this seems to be in flux. This study says they’re cousins.

[Knorf]

My problem is why is Rudolph’s nose still lighting up like a wasteful incandescent bulb? Why hasn’t he switched to energy-efficient LEDs?

[Octarine]

@Spiderman

Which brings up another point, how come nobody mentions Gregory the Green Nosed Reindeer?

Nobody? Nobody? The internet has everything.

[kjckjc]

@Sir_T-Cups

So after being used for ONE night, one seemingly random night out of the thousands of past Christmas Eves, he’s now part of the crew? and not only that but LEADING them? These reindeer have been doing this their entire lives, but just because it’s foggy once this kid gets to not only be a part of the crew but LEAD them? Each and every time? It’s not foggy every Christmas Eve, not by a long shot, so why does this kid get preferential treatment because of one Christmas’s work?

Now the other Reindeer have to play second-fiddle to the new kid on the block, who gets promoted to the front of the crew, every single Christmas for all eternity, because he got them out of a jam once. He has a song about him. He’s the one everyone remembers. He’s the one that get’s the movies.

Yeah, one night only. But what would Santa’s rep be if he had missed JUST that XMas? Ruined. For all eternity. Rudolph preserved Team Northpole’s winning streak. I think that a feat like that deserves a little gleeful shouting and one’s name going down in history.

[Count_Blucher]

@Spiderman

We have numerous reports of him landing on roofs (another FAA no-no). His red light is to the front, a clear indication that he either setup wrong or is flying sideways. There is clearly enough probably cause to [del]dispatch[/del] scramble some F-16s to pull Santa over

…which could be offal all around…

@Senegoid

FWIW, I also know the names of the 12 tribes of Israel.)

Shouldn’t Pharoah’s chariot be in a different thread?
…where is that story, anyway? Damn bible keeps a-burstin into flames…

[Doctor_Jackson]

@cochrane

Also, multiple dolphins played Flipper.

How could anyone tell? They all taste the same…

[Sir_T-Cups]

@kjckjc

Yeah, one night only. But what would Santa’s rep be if he had missed JUST that XMas? Ruined. For all eternity. Rudolph preserved Team Northpole’s winning streak. I think that a feat like that deserves a little gleeful shouting and one’s name going down in history.

There’s a difference between “name going down in history” and “undeserved exultation”.

Mike Jones’s name is in history because he preserved a Super Bowl win by making a goal-line tackle. But you don’t see his name being the first mentioned whenever anyone talks about the St. Louis Rams.

[Smeghead]

@Sir_T-Cups

So how did he get around the other Christmases?

It’s a well-known fact that the incidence of fog has increased concomitant to reduction in overall air quality. The sudden emergence and persistence of fog on various Christmas Evii was brought about only with the Industrial Revolution. Before that, standard non-RFP expressing reindeer were sufficient. However, Rudolph of the genetically engineered line of bioluminescent deer has been necessary since then. Even with more modern pollution controls and climate change making low-level atmospheric moisture less of a problem, the proliferation of aerial traffic has meant that what was once a vitally useful navigational aid has now become a standard safety signal. He’s a warning light now. Future generations of engineering will include a green nosed strain to keep on the starboard side, as well as the addition of a “blink” feature for added visibility.