An Introspective Into "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was bored one day and really thought about this song, and I realized something

Rudolph is an undeserved little shit, and all of the other reindeer are right to hate him.

As a quick caveat to my upcoming little rant…I have narry seen the Rudolph specials, so forgive me if something like this is mentioned…although I highly doubt it.
Now, to start, we see Rudolph everywhere. He’s on every incarnation of Santa and his sleigh, always in front, always with the shiny nose. So it can be established that he is part of the crew, meaning that each and every Christmas he is there in front doing his thing.

The lyrics of Rudolph start with “You know the Reindeer’s names…” and lists them all off. Right now I would say that most people DON’T know everyone’s name, but they DO know “the most famous of them all”…and that’s Rudolph. And why is he so famous? Does he DESERVE to be so famous? Let’s find out…

The first thing I’m going to do is establish some lore, and that starts with the magic of the North Pole. Everything about it is magic. Santa is magic because he delivers the whole world’s presents in one night, he can fit into chimneys and through key-holes, and he can remain that fat with no concern for diabetes. The Elves are magic because they go through the nice list, build all the toys, and can remain happy and working without any sort of union, and the Reindeer are magic because they can fly, not die of frostbite and…most importantly…have eternal life. These are the same Reindeer that Santa has been using for ever.

The second thing to talk about in the lore category are the Reindeer themselves. Santa has a whole herd of Reindeer, even though he only uses the select few on his sleigh. Why? If they’re eternal then why not have JUST the amount you need? Why even have other reindeer? Because Santa’s reindeer are the ORIGINAL reindeer. The forefathers of every natural reindeer that walk this Earth. Why are only the select few the ones for his sleigh? Just the job they have is all, nothing more…nothing less.

Now onto the song, and to Rudolph.

Rudolph is bullied by the other reindeer because of his nose. Boys will be boys, deer are dicks…not condoning it, but it happened. Throughout all this time that Rudolph has been alive the other reindeer are going about their business and driving the sleigh on Christmas. Rudolph isn’t part of the crew. The song then says “then one foggy Christmas Eve…” This implies that it was ONE foggy Christmas eve. Not the first Christmas Eve, not EVERY Christmas Eve…just one foggy one. Santa asks Rudolph to lead the sleigh TONIGHT, which he does to rousing success.

So after being used for ONE night, one seemingly random night out of the thousands of past Christmas Eves, he’s now part of the crew? and not only that but LEADING them? These reindeer have been doing this their entire lives, but just because it’s foggy once this kid gets to not only be a part of the crew but LEAD them? Each and every time? It’s not foggy every Christmas Eve, not by a long shot, so why does this kid get preferential treatment because of one Christmas’s work?

Now the other Reindeer have to play second-fiddle to the new kid on the block, who gets promoted to the front of the crew, every single Christmas for all eternity, because he got them out of a jam once. He has a song about him. He’s the one everyone remembers. He’s the one that get’s the movies.

I’m not saying we have to ignore his contribution, and I’m not saying that he shouldn’t ever lead again…surely it’s going to be foggy another time right? But to take the lead each and every time because you were able to help out once is more than undeserved.

No wonder all of the other reindeer hate him, he’s instantly the teacher’s pet because he aced one test, riding that accomplishment for his whole life (read: forever), and instantly rendering years of hard work and dedication from other reindeer useless.

Most famous of them all? More like Luckiest…

2

He’s just well liked, even among the other deer. All he had to do was blow a few bucks, and popularity followed.

3

So when you are in the dark do you walk around with the flashlight behind your back?

Did you forget that it is dark at night? Once Santa used Rudolph he realized how much easier it is to see in the dark when you have a flashlight.

No, they hated him before he helped them out. Now they like him.

4

Yeah, you forget that at the end of the song it’s all of the other reindeer (reindeer) that make him famous (like George Washington)

5

Red’s supposed to be for taillights. You don’t see red and think something’s coming toward you.

6

1: No, but darkness isn’t a part of the actual lore

2: See above

3: They loved him for that one night, but what about now?

7

Dude, he’s the front man for the band. Like it or not, the front man gets all the glory.

He also has a gimmick - the red nose. Dasher could have thought of that years ago, but the point is he didn’t. KISS learned from Rudy. They wouldn’t have been nearly as popular if they played “Rock and Roll All Night” in Beatles style suit and ties while Gene Simmons kept is tongue in his mouth.

A front man with a gimmick? That’s entertainment platinum, my friend. Ain’t no fighting it. Don’t be hater, be a participater!

8

Santa goes all over the world. It’s a good bet it’s foggy someplace every Christmas Eve. And even if there’s one lucky Eve when it’s clear all over the world at the time Santa starts off, who’s to say fog won’t develop over London.

9

So how did he get around the other Christmases?

10

Rudolph the infra-red nosed reindeer doesn’t have the same ring to it.

11

Ray-deer.

:smiley:

12

He had to go really slowly so that he didn’t crash into any mountains. Now that he’s got Rudolph, he can get home in time for hot chocolate.

My issue with the song is with the other reindeer, though. At the end, they all suddenly decide to love him, 'cause they’re sucking up to Santa. Rudolph is just as disliked as before, but now it’s hidden - and made worse by being teacher’s pet. All because of a genetic mutation . . .

13

I’ve seen the show many times, and I’m pretty sure nothing in your rant is covered in it, so you’re right about that part at least. However, you’re using nary in a non-standard way, and you misspelled it too!

If you’re going to rant, why not point out that if Santa has conquered so many logistical problems through the use of magic, why is so hampered by a little fog? Hey, isn’t it always foggy somewhere, Santa? Why the big issue that one time? Come to think of it, the “Oh, no! Christmas is canceled!” attitude is really just in the show. The song leaves it ambiguous. Maybe Santa thought the glowing nose would look good in the fog. Maybe he packed along some dry ice just to keep the effect alive through his whole ride.

Anyway, the point is the reindeer were just bigots. They hated Rudolph for being different, but they learned the value of diversity that foggy night and took their first step into a bigger world. They now are tolerant of noses in every color of the rainbow, and they even make room in their hearts for a Euro-goth teenaged reindeer with a nose ring, who insists on being called a caribou. I for one enjoy seeing the new non-conformist bent in Santa’s team. I’m not so sure about Santa’s new look though … the van dyke beard and trilby hat just seem a little too hipsterish for a cultural icon like Santa Claus. Everybody has to ride with the times though I guess.

14

Here’s where you start to lose me. Where is it established that Santa has more than the eight? Giving you that, however… Clement Clarke Moore tells us that the sleigh uses eight, and that furthermore, they are tiny reindeer; whether this means simply “notably smaller than average” or indicates a miniature or toy breed is not specified. If the latter, that would provide reason for having an established herd; it’d be nigh impossible to capture, break, and train a dwarf reindeer, especially on short notice; much easier to simply take another one from the herd you have specially bred for the purpose.

This leads into the bigger problem, however, and here’s where your analysis of the propulsion of Greco-Turkish bishop Odin’s vehicle falls apart: you’re assuming that these are the same reindeer every time. I, for one, see no evidence to that effect; in fact, the fact that only Rudolph, of all the deer in question, has a name that most people would recognize as such, indicates otherwise: even in English, ‘Dasher’, ‘Dancer’, and ‘Prancer’ are jobs or titles; ‘Comet’, ‘Cupid’, and ‘Vixen’ admittedly less so, though one could readily imagine the positions such code-named creatures would have in a group of reindeer whose job was pulling a sleigh; and, well, I have no idea about Donner or Blitzen, the poem predating both the party and the football maneuver. Maybe they mean something in Norwegian. I would put forth the theory that these are not names of creatures, but roles, positions, or code names given to deer that perform the specific functions as part of the sled-pulling team. A given deer is no more inherently ‘Comet’ than Ian McKellen is inherently Hamlet.

You’re making the assumption that being in the lead in the best position. I know they say that if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes. I’d imagine this is notably less true if you’re moving in three dimensions, but that’s not really the point. Even with magic protecting you, it has to be a harrowing trip; normal reindeer aren’t known for flying, much less repeatedly circumnavigating the globe in search of well-behaved Christian children. What makes you think the reindeer see this as a positive, wondrous thing? Is it not more likely they see it as a terrifying necessity?

Assume my above-postulated theory is true: Rudolph gets called in on an exceptionally foggy Christmas Eve and provides light, thereby allowing Santa to better see where he’s going- and thus, all the reindeer to survive. Why would Santa need a herd of replacements if they all make it through every year? Of course Rudolph takes the lead; that’s where you put the light source. Do your rear-view mirrors resent your headlights for being in front?

The other reindeer don’t hate him; they love him. The song establishes that. And it makes the most sense that they’d do so if he’s the reason they live through each Christmas Eve trip. Sure, he rides that accomplishment, but his job description is essentially “light bulb”. Far from rendering other reindeer useless, he’s the only one they could do their job without- they were presumably, doing this for centuries before he came along, after all. All the praise is heaped on him not simply because he got a lucky break so far as genetic mutations were concerned, but to serve as a reminder of his necessity to the team. He’s not needed for pulling; he’s just a piece of safety equipment. All too often, we don’t remember the people who invented the protective devices that save our lives on a regular basis- but would we be so callous if it wasn’t Frank Shuman’s invention, but Frank Shuman himself composing our windshields?

15

No where is it actually established that Santa has more than eight reindeer, I made that extrapolation based on the fact that he had reindeer he was using (the originals) and at least one that he wasn’t using (Rudolph).

Further extrapolating, I didn’t assume that he only had one random lone reindeer, so I assume that he had a herd. And why would he need a herd of reindeer if the ones he uses are eternal? I didn’t know for certain so I made a theory

That’s an interesting theory you present about the name of the reindeer being a title. moreso than their actual names (the James Bond Theory we will call it). If we pair this to your theory with my assumption that he has a herd, what happens to the reindeer after each Christmas? are they retired? sacrificed?

16

My idea was that they keep working so long as they’re able to. Their appreciation of Rudolph thus stems from his nose-generated light greatly increasing their chances of survival.

17

I was always told his nose was red because he drank…and didn’t share with the other reindeer.

Are caribou actually deer?

18

You’ve obviously never heard of that famous reindeer proverb:

“He whose nose does not glow red must stare at ass of reindeer ahead.”

19

There’s one major flaw in your logic. They are flying reindeer, not driving reindeer.

White is the taillight color on an aircraft. Red goes on the left (or port) side, with green on the right (or starboard) side. Cite. If Santa’s got red in front then he’s violating multiple national & international flight regulations.

Which brings up another point, how come nobody mentions Gregory the Green Nosed Reindeer?
“Gregory” even means “watchful, alert”. Who better to make sure you don’t run into any other airplanes or UFOs? But nooooo, no mention of the lookout at all!

20

Obviously a post-season dinner for the elves. Maybe Santa gets to drink the blood.

And since the reindeer go for this, they’re obviously brainwashed company (men/deer/mind-slaves), who think it’s fine to pick on somebody different until he’s useful to The Man.