An Ode (and Supplication) to Burt's Bees

So I realize nobody’s ever going to read this, but I just gotta share. I have always been fickle with my skin-care. Lotions and potions, in my opinion, come in jars that are far, far too big - I’m never done with them before I’ve grown weary of them. I’ve got drawers and drawers of half-finished bottles and tubes. I go through phases - sometimes I want better living through chemistry, sometimes I want to be able to draw a picture of everything on the ingredients list. But I can’t afford to be a dillettante anymore. Those people who say your skin starts to change in your mid-20’s? They’re right. In addition to that little chin hair that keeps coming back, the past few winters have made me break out in scaly patches that suggest I’m about to slough off my human skin and reveal my true reptile self. I’d be willing to join the Reptile Army if only it has insurance and matches my 401k, if it weren’t so itchy. But! Fickle no more am I, because I have seen the light!

I was in Earthfare a few months ago, only to buy sushi because you know I’m not one of those crazy Earthfare people and I’ll kick anybody’s ass who says I am. But their sushi is great. (And you fuzzy thinking people about to tell me what an evil bitch I am for not wanting people to think I really shop at Earthfare, let me tell you - I once bought a vegan cookie in there by mistake, because I was in a big hurry and it wasn’t labeled a freaking biohazard. Yes, my dear, you people are fruitcakes if you think that’s a tasty treat.) So anyway, they have a huge health and beauty section and I have time to burn, so I stand there in front of the Burt’s Bees products and try to remember what it was that I tried from somebody’s sample pack that I really liked. (The Rosewater and Glycerin Toner - I don’t use it as a toner, I use it as a degreaser in the summer when I want to wash my face but don’t have time. It’s great.) So anyway, I also picked up the Carrot Day Cream that day, and I’ve been using it ever since - a little weird, but excellent.

Ever since then I’ve been picking up a product here, a product there. Got a cleanser for Christmas. Last night I went and got a whole handful of stuff; night cream, hand cream, exfoliant. And I gotta say, Burt’s Bees, thank you.

Thank you, Orange Essence Facial Cleanser. You are really, really weird. You are, in fact, not something I would ever normally put on my face. You come in a metal tube. You’re waxy. You reek of orange. I suspect, deep down, that you’re really for cleaning floors in an infomercial. When I wash my face with you, I get the nagging feeling I’m not getting all of you off. But. You’re the most wonderful most excellent amazing cleanser ever. You’re strong but gentle. You never leave my face feeling tight or “over-cleaned”, but you clean it really good. Bravo, cleanser.

Thank you, Carrot Nutritive Day Cream. You also are a little wacky. The carrot thing, you know. And you smell like distilled carrots, indeed. And I wish you had sunscreen in you. But you’re an excellent moisturizer - at first I thought you were both a little too heavy and not moisturizing me enough, but after a few days I was a convert. You don’t feel too heavy after given a second to sink in, and while you’re a little less willing to cover my whole face than other lotions, with a little care you really are wonderful. Plus, I’ll never run out of you. Ever. You’re pretty eternal, from what I can tell.

Thank you, Beeswax Night Cream. In the store yesterday I looked at you, thinking “Goodness, surely I don’t need night cream. That’s for moms and all.” And then I thought about my application to the Lizard Army, which hasn’t spread to my face but still, and I took you home. When I put you on last night, I didn’t like you at all - you were too heavy, I’m sure you got my pillow kinda nasty, etc. This morning, my face has never felt so nice. I keep wanting to invite people walking through my office to pet my face, but that wouldn’t encourage the sort of professional relationship I’m looking for. It’s like a baby’s ass, if that ass were impeccably moisturized and perfect in every way.

Thank you, Citrus Facial Scrub. I’ve never before seen a facial exfoliant you have to mix up yourself from a dry paste, but hey. You seem like a good egg, although my face this morning was so perfect from the Night Cream that it’s hard to tell too much about your performance.

And thank you, Almond Milk Beeswax Hand Cream. You also seemed too heavy at first, but upon rubbing you in, you are most lovely. Also I love the way you smell. (Take notes, Burt’s - almond milk good, distilled carrot kinda weird.)

But please please please, Burt. Please let the Internet be right about Baby Bee Buttermilk Lotion. I went out today before work and bought some. Let it heal the sick and raise the dead. Let it be the savior of all Mankind. Most of all, let it heal in an instant my lizard patches and make me stop itching! The Internet claims you can do this, Baby Bee - let’s see it. You’re my only hope!

Wow, I didn’t realize I had an epic to write about Burt’s Bees’ skin care line. Er, anybody who’s read this far have their own miracle potions to share?

And you think vegans are weird? :wink:

My husband loves the Beeswax Lip Balm. It’s got that medicated tingle for the Carmex fans out there, comes in a handy stick form, and works to keep his lips safe in cold weather. (He’s a postal worker and walks outside half his workday.)

I like the Lip Shimmer version - light tinting in the same lip balm.

The Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme is a godsend - I can easily tell I haven’t been using it lately, as the cold dry weather is scuffing up my cuticles again. Plus it works well in a pinch for other dry areas as well, like my elbows.

I second the lip balm. I use it every night before beddy-bye and the tingling sensation is a treat.

Here’s another Burt’s plug. You gotta pick up the Baby Bee Apricot Oil. The fragrance is heavenly. Throw some on in the shower and that’s the end of itchy winter skin.

My sister got me one of the travel/sample packs. I can tell you it was THE BEST thing to have in my hand luggage on long haul flights. The carrot cream ( I happen to like the smell) was a god-send, even after 24 out of 36 hours in aeroplanes, my skin was soft and smooth when I arrived.

The shower/shampoo bars were fab for a quick shower in Auckland airport and the swimming pool or beach, and the cuticle, hand and lip balms are all amazing.

The textures are a little weird, but they smell great (if essential oils are your thing) and do exactly what they’re supposed to.

I bought my sister another kit for her big round-the-world trip, and she’s loving it too.

The best range I’ve ever come across, now I just have to find a shop here that stocks the full-size products.

Boy, have I got a cookie for you. :wink:

MercyStreet, is the Apricot Oil really messy? I used to use body oil after the shower sometimes (while still standing in the shower), and it would make the floor so slippery it was kind of dangerous.

Irishgirl, I’ve noticed they’re starting to be everywhere, and in the full sized too (which are awfully big for skin care, even). Here, Bath and Bodyworks is starting to stock them. (I prefer doing the penance of Earthfare - it dosen’t seem right that I can go to the same place I bought Plumeria crap in high school to get beauty products where I can read the whole label with full comprehension. I just don’t touch any of the cookies.)

YAY for Burt’s Bees!!!
I third their lip balm. It is one of the very few lipbalms out there that don’t have a chemical aftertaste that is metallic and tinny on the back of my throat. Having and suppporting a Lip Balm Addiction is expensive and a Life’s Quest for me. BB’s is pretty much the bee’s knees.

I also like the Foot Cream cause it works great on hands and feet for night time care ( day time is too slippery.) and if you have a pet, it gets them interested in smelling your dogs. That’s always amusing.
Their toothpaste is interesting too. Can’t remember which it is, as I fluxuate between Tom’s of Maine Lavender Toothpaste (good, not sugary and the added bonus of spitting a gray purple spit into the sink.) and Burt’s Bee’s .

They have a very nice lipstick line too. I loved mine until I left it in a hot car and it died a tragic gooey death.
I try to use both companies first for my personal needs when I can find them and if the product is right for me, right for the enviroment, not animal tested and gives me warm fuzzies doing things right.
Burt’s Bee’s Factory Outlet

Tom’s of Maine cause they deserve a big fat plug as well.

I would also like to take this time out to mention a big fat YEAH BABY to **Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Creme ** which is not from the US, not bee based and probably tested on reindeer or salmon or something. But, if it was created and endorsed by Norwegian fishermen, it’s good enough fer me.

My favorite is the Marshmellow Vanishing Cream (so named because it vanishes when you apply it!:))

I love the smell! I can’t actually use it on my face, because it’s a bit to rich, however, I like to put it on my decolete, hands, etc.

Just a tip - once you open it, use it QUICK! I hadn’t used mine for a while (a month maybe) and when I opened it there was a big hunk of MOULD!! blech!

I suppose it’s good that they don’t use preservatives, but that grossed me out a bit.

I always give a Baby Bee kit when someone hatches out a little one. :slight_smile:

I love their balm. It is really good. Their make up (and colored bams) just don’t do it for me. The colors look really bad on me.

What I looooooove with a passion is their diaper ointment. It smells so good and works so well. What I want to know is why on earth do they only sell the trial sizes in the kits? I would love to have small plastic tubes for my bag but I have never seen them sold ibdividually.

As for good cream that is good for lzard spots? Baby Bee Buttermilk Lotion isn’t going to do it, IMO. What I have found that works really well is a brand called California Baby.
It’s the stuff in the green pot (not pump). It really worked wonders for me and my baby. In fact, I use it as a face cream, too.
http://storesense02.dynamic.net/californiababy/StoreFront.bok

Yay for Burt’s Bees!!!

I LOVE the way their Tomato toner smells - sort of like boys. :smiley:

Sadly it dries my face out so I use the Lettuce toner instead. Not as nice of a smell but it works wonderfully.

I love the Almond Milk hand cream as well. I have a jar at home and at work. It smells heavenly and really helps my chapped hands.

I used to only be able to find it at my Student Union’s market area but now Long’s Drugs carries a fairly decent selection as well.

I tried the hair soap - blech! I do love the avocado scalp treatment. It conditioned too well for my hair but it smells really nice.

Now I feel like running out and getting some new products to try. Mmmm!

Well, an update on the Baby Bee Buttermilk Lotion - it dosen’t raise the dead, but it may cure scrofula. I slathered a bunch (way more than my poor sheets expected) on and took a nap when I got home from work, and my smaller lizard spots are gone. Not just “moistened for right now”, gone. It’s trying to work hard on the real mess on my hips that I seem to have gotten from hotel sheets, either that or from one of those cottonwood birch trees that sloughs off its skin all the time, (or it might be the King’s Evil), and has improved it immensely. I suspect I’ll have to wash my sheets a lot more often if I plan on doing this much, though.

It did work almost as testimonial online had it! I’ll have to try this California Baby thing, though.

Yep, yep, and yep.

I love the lip balm. What could be better than smearing peppermint lip balm on?
I’m a lip balm addict, and the Burt’s Bees is my favorite. I have some of the scented lip glosses that come in the little glass pots, too. The lime one is fun.

And the Lemon Butter cuticle cream is wonderful. Like Ferret Herder said, I use it in other dry areas. My hands get really dry in the winter (I wash my hands a lot, and hand-wash my dishes) and use this stuff on the really dry patches on my fingers.

I also like the Milk & Honey body lotion. Mine’s in a nice little pump-top bottle. I love the smell.

How strange…

This afternoon I woke up (hey, I’m awake all night long!), puttered around the house, then decided to take a stroll to the bank, the drugstore, and the nearby QFC for some groceries.
At the bank - I saw no Burt’s Bees. But I did withdraw some money. :smiley:
At the drugstore - I browsed the Burt’s Bees “section”. They have a quarter of a shelf dedicated to Burt’s Bees products. I yearned. But I hemmed and hawed, because they were expensive, and I still had groceries to buy.
At QFC - more Burt’s Bees. Oh, and my favourite thing in the whole world: they were in gift packs. So I could try out many products, all in one wonderful bag… there was a “Head to Toe” kit, a “Facial Care” kit, and a “Baby Bee” kit (that even came with the little baby comb for baby! Awwwwww!)
So many lotions and potions. And I, like Zsofia, am addicted to lotions and potions. I reached up… then took my hand back. I thought about it. I reached up again… and took my hand back. “How do I know if I will like this stuff?” I think to myself. I only have one of their products: a little pot of Strawberry lip balm. It’s ever-so-good. But what about their skin care? Nail care? Dry patch care? Is carrot good for my face? Is apricot good for my skin? Is it greasy? Is it heavy? Does it flake? Does it sting? Does it work?
And so, I take a deep breath, and walk out of the isle with the Burt’s Bees. I buy my sensible groceries, my low-fat, no-fat, lite and frees, and think I’ll take care of my skin from the inside. Yes. I’ll celebrate with a tasty glass of water.
I walk home.
I drink my water.
I ponder.
I think of Burt’s Bees.
I want Burt’s Bees.
So, finally, I think the most sensible thing to do would be to come here, to the Straight Dope, to start a thread and just ask everyone. I’m certain there will be many people who have tried this line. They will tell me, “Oh, too stinky. Too gritty. Too greasy. Too flaky. Causes blemishes. Causes weight gain. Causes tumours. Causes baby bunnies to die. Don’t buy it, it’s a perfect waste of your money.”

I’ll be picking up a Head to Toe gift pack tomorrow. :smiley:

I used to love their lip balm too, but now I get an allergic reaction too it:(. As for Tom’s of Maine, I like their almond shampoo and the fennel and wintermint tooth paste.

Try the Milk & Honey lotion. It’s is light and not at all greasy, and works wonders on dry skin.
And it smells really good.

Has anybody tried that weird parsley blemish stick thing they have? I think I have one lying around somewhere that came to me in some mysterious manner, and I might have tried it once or twice but it seems very odd and smells very green. Of course, now that I’ve tried a lot more of their stuff and know that it can be very weird and still work (Orange Peel Cleanser, I’m lookin’ at you).

I’ve tried it.

It didn’t do a thing for me.

I love mine. My mom got one as a gift and couldn’t use anything in it, as she is outrageously sensitive to even their stuff. Guess who she passed it along to?
:cool: The stuff makes me very happy. I love the peppermint soap and lip balm, and the cuticle creme is wonderful. Makes my hands smell all lemony.

I keep a bottle of the Lavender Chammomile facial spritz in my car during the summer. It’s fabulously refreshing when the weather is all hot and muggy. The lip balm is my favorite, I have two in my line of sight right now (stick and pot form).

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Burt’s Bees products up in Montreal. Sounds like I’m missing out on something pretty good. Maybe I’ll order one of those sample kits to see what it’s all about.